Child's Play

I took a real childish approach to a task Goddess B set for me today.

We talked in her family room, mostly small talk. I think she waited to just long enough to be sure that I did not have any session requests and then she triggered me. In the recent past, a trigger outside of her studio was a sign that I'd be doing chores soon. She took me into her living room, had me sit in a particular red chair, and started a nice deepening using many of the phrases in her customary enchantment but with extra emphasis on being in her full control and doing anything she asked. I was not quite as deep as I get in her studio when I'm settling down for a long trance, but I was pretty far gone.

She had me in a sleepwalk get up and approach her organ piano. When I returned to the chair she had a book she wanted me to read to her, one that looked like an illustrated children's book. She had to tell me which pages to read because on my own I would have read the copyright, library of congress info, etc. The book was basically small poems/reflections on life values such as forgiving yourself or immersing yourself in the moment. In an awake execution of a post-hypnotic trigger she had me get a picture of her in Vegas on one of the Venetian boats and describe it to her. She then pulled out her pendulum (given to her by Mistress X during Goddess Training) and started a slow and effective reinduction with a focus on relaxing, letting go, surrendering, and doing anything she asks.

Then she revealed her secret plan for the session, she had me sit down in her family room and play a hand of UNO. My fumbly fingers had a hard time picking cards up from the table to shuffle but I did manage to do an ok job. The game went on for some time before she won with my holding a single card. In retrospect, I can say that I was childish during the play. By this I do not mean that I misbehaved in any manner, I mean that I played like a child. I was focused only on my own hand and the deck and on optimizing it. I spent no mental time whatsoever monitoring her hand including basics such as if she had many cards left, or her play to infer what she might have or not have left in her hand. I did not once think anything like "she was out of green a play or so ago, so I should make it be green", instead I merely optimized for myself. The narrowed attention span of hypnosis was expressing itself. Also, I did not banter or tease, and UNO is made for such activities.

She then had me move to her studio where the massage table was already made, and had me undress and get under the sheet. Goddess B then started a more or less normal massage sequence but her enchantments were based on my already being under and also seemed to have extra emphasis on surrendering, being in her total control, and doing anything she asks. Of course, she still had lines about taking care of myself and such. For some reason, the massage felt particularly good this time, I felt sore spots becoming soothed under her touch.

She had me sleepwalk to a picture to count butterflies and then back on the table. As usual, I did this with a narrow focus and not much intelligence. After more upper torso time, she had me sleepwalk and sit in a chair where I found myself nodding affirmations to statements related to being under, doing whatever she asks, and being in her full control.

She only had time for the upper back torso, neck, and arms, but those who get massages know that this probably accounts for about half the overall time anyway.

She then did a somewhat abrupt awakening, using the "awake123" trigger she uses for immediate post-hypnotic suggestions. Maybe for the final wake-up a slower count up would make for an easier transition to permanent wakefulness as most of the "awake123" moments are soon followed by another trance.

Upon dressing and going back to her foyer, I found Goddess B again glowing. I think she is getting confident in herself and in her hypnotic influence. She has operated out of her box several times with great success and I think she now understands that she can do it. This should be interesting, my most predictable Goddess is branching out. I'm looking forward to next time.

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Just Trancing

I went through Mistress X's first door without the trance trigger taking effect. She had said something last week about removing it, and this plus some distraction seems to have done the trick. I did trance at her second doorway and she decided to remove the doorway trance trigger altogether. She awakened me and we talked briefly as she made her plans, and then she retriggered.

Uh oh, its time for kitchen chores. But instead of my doing them, she had me sit by her sink and watch as she did miscellaneous kitchen chores, mainly dishwasher loading and counter cleaning. She tried to make everything fascinating, but to have me forget about the experience for 24 hours. She would draw my attention to the running water and the smell of items used such as rubber gloves or cleaning solutions. I had a brief thought of "Great, first emery boards, and now latex?" I was interested in the activities, and my attention was often fixated on her hands or the water. Overall I was indifferent but open to the experience. I was tranced, but not as thoroughly as in her studio.

She chose to have me call her Mistress. She likes it from me, or at least she liked it on this date. She also encouraged complete submission.

She encouraged me to communicate with her if I was ever bothered by any trance experiences, to not wait until whatever might have been our normal next communication. I'm not bothered often, but she is right that my tendency would be to wait unless it was something serious, so I guess she wants to prevent this.

After about 15 minutes we went into her studio. There she had me lie face up on her table. With her soft whispers she gently and thoroughly guided me into a deeper and more relaxed trance. She then started something where she would touch and I'd focus there. I had a brief thought my blog readers would be jealous. The touches were non-sexual, of course. She is my provider of all things hypnotic, and I'm so lucky to have her and multiple mistresses. It was nice to take the time to go gently deep.

She suggested I go to that state where I don't feel my body, where I'm gone, gone, gone. I'd had this body disconnect a few times earlier (see the yellow highlighted sections) but not really since the Mistress stuff, probably mainly because our trances were so busy and physically active. I found it interesting at the time that I did start to feel that disconnection shortly after she suggested it. I gradually became that disconnected blissed out entity just floating in her voice. I may well have been snoring at some points.

She put some headphones on with some special music that was supposed to have brainwave related tones. She would be touching me as I listened. I did find the music enjoyable although I cannot remember enough to describe it, and I was aware of her gentle touches in intervals around my limbs and on my chest, but I was not paying that much attention to them, I was more just floating in the music.

She had me sit up and talk to her still in trance afterwards and we just casually chatted and enjoyed feeling the bonds we have built. It was in this chat that she told me to get a manicure and to choose a pretty one this time.

I really enjoyed the post-kitchen part of the session. I have become such a good subject that sometimes we just jump into things, but sometimes it is nice to have that slow and deep trance experience. This was simple trancing, just trancing, with nothing fancy thrown in and with nothing done with the trance, just trancing for its own sake, and I loved it. It is nice to go back to basics now and then.

Note: This session occured n Wednesday, before Friday's Entertaining Mistress N

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Entertaining Mistress N

Mistress N was running late (she called to let me know). I was waiting in the reception area as she walked her previous client out. It is funny that I remember the client's voice seemed to be relieved and that of someone who has just been through something significant, but I remember nothing about the client except for gender and age within 20 years or so. I do not remember hair color, height, girth, or anything else. You would think that a hypnofan such as myself would be deeply curious as to who also got to get a treat and how it affected them, but I seemed to have overlooked this basic curiosity.

I did not feel hypnotized at that time, but writing this I have to reconsider as I seemed to have developed a severe case of selective attention just with Mistress N walking down the hall.

I walked to her office and was placed in one of her two chairs. She has a massage table as well that seems to mostly serve as an impromptu shelf. (Other furnishings: coffee table, some bookcases, carpet.)

I started some minor small talk about how it had gone with her previous client but I was probably not more than 15 seconds into her studio when she waved her hand and snapped and triggered me somehow. My eyes were closed and my muscles starting to relax as she directed me to go deeper, relax, let go, submit, etc. I think it had elements of a confusion induction in it as well as she directed my attention all over the place. She raised and dropped an arm here or there, probably testing muscle tone. There was also a backward count from 100 that had me start by saying the number and "deeper" between numbers and quickly became my losing the numbers and just saying "deeper" in a slow regular rate as she reinforced the deepness and give suggestions between beats.

After awhile, she had me open my eyes and she gave me a stuffed 3 foot teddy bear to use as a puppet. I had the bear wave to her and say a few things I forget. She then had the bear become a small child. I probably shifted the bear and started handling it more like I would a child rather than a puppet. She asked me to describe the child and I used one from a recent experience with a child in need. She then dove a bit into the experience and a new depth of understanding around some things about my background.

She took me up on my special request that they eat in my presence if they are hungry. (It was a noon session.) She had me walk in trance unescorted (she was probably a few feet behind me) to heat her lunch. While waiting for the microwave to finish the amount of time she had told me, she caught up with me and had me sit in a kitchen chair. She had me drink Champaign and tea from an empty cup. On one level I knew it was an empty cup, on another I responded as suggested, envisioning the bubbles in my nose, and swallowing differently depending on the envisioned liquid.

On the way back, she had me sit on the couch in the probably empty reception area and then to lay on it and nap for a bit.

Later in the session she had me get her tea, but only after getting confirmation I knew how to manage the hot water control. I don't think anybody was in the reception area I passed through then either, but I am not sure – that selective attention thing makes it unclear.

She also had me empty her trash – I think there is something about having a hypnotized man doing chores that is a deep satisfaction common to all my Mistresses.

At several times in the session she had me tell her a story. She gave me the option of using a real story or making one up, but I don’t think I could make one up while in trance, I just do not have the mental horsepower to do that sort of what-if planning it takes to compose a story line. I chose to tell real stories from my life. You know, tales of projectile wounds, residual metal shards not implanted by any doctor, wild-west bars, movie productions, bank robberies, tear gassings, fights, automobile .vs. bike, child labor, private investigators, legal conflicts, bill collection, assignations, that sort of stuff. (Well ok, it was not exactly that, but I'm not going to share in this blog what were my real personal stories.) (Mistress N is laughing again.) Between this and what I had shared in earlier with the teddy bear she got a rich glimpse of what was probably unexpected background.

Reduced mental horsepower aside, it is funny how sometimes associative memory driven thought processes can be quite effective in trance. I blogged three entries Friday and all were basically composed in session. This effect was strong enough that when she gave me something she wanted me to include in the blog I told her it was going to be my second entry, and later I told her it was going to be my third, which it was. The entry "Trance Variants" is built around some words/concepts she wanted to see me blog. I'm pretty sure she wanted me to feel the submission of having to place these concepts in a blog where she was sure they would probably seem odd or out of place, but in trance I already knew how to make them fit and may even have smiled a bit.

She had fun several times, I think, with the catatonic effect of hypnosis. Basically, if you have me fiddle with an object and then take the object away, or if you have my hands reaching out doing something and then remove it from them, my hands and the rest of me tends to stay as it last was, basically catatonic, probably because I do not have the spare awareness to think that they "should" be somewhere else or the initiative to move them if I had thought of so doing.

She bought out an emery board at one point and had me do her fingers. I was slow and cautious, I think, as I am aware that I am uncoordinated in trance. During this time I would be looking at her fingers as she directed me even deeper into total submission and desire to please but several times she would direct me to look into her eyes and experience that hypnotic gaze. I'd easily fixate on them and start feeling that deep bond but invariably this ended up with my eyes closed. I suspect I stopped filing during this time, but I am not sure. She would direct my eyes back open and I'd resume looking at her 5 fingers (I had only enough attention to notice 1 hand at a time) and filing. Later I briefly filed my own nails as she gave me suggestions that the back and forth motions would take me even deeper into submission. I suspect that my timing was quite erratic as these suggestions were hitting.

Several times she had me just sit back, probably while she was eating, but I think she enjoyed not having to do anything, not having to fill each moment, being able to relax herself. I think she articulated this directly, that her trances with me, and these moments in particular, are where she gets a break. My main problem in these moments as figuring out what to do with my head – hanging it forward or back both had issues.

At one point she asked if I had any symbol of submission. My response was to ask to kneel and she let me. I was on both knees, just in front and to the side of her and possibly holding a hand. Mostly my eyes would be closed and I’d be gently swaying, at least internally.

One of the stories she had me tell was one about her, and I basically repeated my impression of her that I have shared in the blog, that of the caring person taking care of many things and many others and not having much time for herself.

There were other moments of eye contact toward the end of the session. My memory is hazy and it is more so further into the session.

She suggested that for 5 minutes during my walk that night I would with each step think a phrase such as "I will submit to Mistress N, I must submit". Later when I did have the walk the suggestion was effective in spurts. I'd do it for a minute then would forget about it, but a few minutes later I would find myself doing it again. At some points on this walk I felt a dual presence of the two Mistresses who had tied suggestions into this activity.

She also associated the color blue with de-stressing and I've since noticed this happening at least twice.

I had to smile when she made a big point of my wanting to email her, that it pleases, her, and that I want to please her. Well, I have been wanting to email her, but I've been trying to be conscious of communication overload. I do not want to ever make her uncomfortable. Wouldn't it seem sappy if I keep telling her that I love submitting to her?

I'm sure that there is some that I missed, but just reading this entry so far it seems like quite a lot happened during this hour, especially when the stories are taken into account.

Waking up as always was an undesired necessity.

2 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

You are right again. I am laughing at exactly the area in your post where you say I am laughing.

5/29/2005 10:15 AM  

 Anonymous said...

Do you remember blowing on the not real hot tea?

5/29/2005 10:17 AM  

Trance Variants

The whole is/is not a Goddess thing brings to light two separate flavors of trances.

One is getting lost in yourself, in inner images and impressions, being more or less oblivious to the outside world, even to the one who is directing you. Perhaps you even lose the distinction of who is you and who is her. It is analogous to being lost in the beauty of a Red Rose.

The other is getting lost in the Mistress, in the need to submit, the need to serve, the desire to bring her pleasure or make her happy with you. You are not thinking much of yourself at all except when so directed. It is analogous to being lost in the beauty of a Yellow Rose.

Red Roses, Yellow Roses, I like them both just the same. The world would be less interesting without these variants. Like roses, there are more variants of trances to be explored.

P.S. Mistress N knows what I mean. (She'’s laughing as she reads this.) Even so, she might be somewhat surprized that I knew what she meant. I'’ll wait for her to discover this in the blog by herself, however, because she will be looking for it when she most needs it.

4 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

So...I have a headache that has been brewing ever since 2PM (it is now 5:15PM). I go to my computer to just take my mind off my headache.I have had a busy week...

Oh, how you make me laugh my submissive one! Yes, you do know me. I am laughing as I read your post describing my laughing as I read your post. I must have been even in trance myself as I gave you post hypnotic suggestions. I had forgotten them myself or where they deep in my subconscious?

I am impressed with your weaving of the words(which only you and I know).You may share your brilliance in a public post (if you would like). Is everyone curious?

5/27/2005 5:30 PM  

 Deep Trancer said...

There are multiple meanings to these words, but I have promises to keep. My curiosity is how your contribution to these words came to be, if the obvious mapping were conscious or if it just bubbled up?

The curiosity of others is itself a curiosity; lurkers abound, but are welcome.

5/27/2005 7:22 PM  

 Anonymous said...

"..."but I have promises to keep" and miles to go before I sleep".
(Robert Frost}

So you are curious?

I wish I could say that my choice of words were calculated but alas, they just bubbled up with no particular thought or meaning. It was your brilliance that brought meaning to my random choice of images.

5/27/2005 10:34 PM  

 Deep Trancer said...

The choice of words is too meaningful to be random. As you suggest, perhaps you were in a trance as you were suggesting and the words percolated from your subconscious.
-- Dream Translator

5/28/2005 10:27 AM  

Walking alone can be a busy time

I now have two post-hypnotic suggestions for the same event. I have an ongoing and regularly reinforced suggestion to go into a form of a waking trance while walking/running (the rational is that since I enjoy trance so much, this will incent me to exercise). Now, Mistress N wants me to repeat a phrase to myself related to submitting to here with each step for a time period on my walk tonight. Fortunately, the two suggestions are not contradictory, and are actually complimentary.

Now Mistress N knows the reason for my second chuckle in trance, or she will once I email this to her. At least Goddess B held off last week from interjecting more suggestions regarding exercise.

Having multiple hypnotists can have unusual challenges, but I gladly accept that -- wouldn't you?

1 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

I was wondering why you had that slight chuckle.
Such a "rascle". Only Deep Tancer knows the meaning of that.

5/27/2005 5:35 PM  

What is it with emails?

Today, Mistress N made a point of emphasizing how much she likes getting emails from me, even when she does not have time to respond, and she implanted a desire to send her more of them. Mistress X has also commented that she misses seeing stuff from me in her inbox, and Goddess B also ordered more emails 2 weeks ago. (This last week Mistress N's responses have been very brief – one or two words sometimes. I saw this as possibly a sign that she was busy, but also possibly as a desire to pull back a bit. I guess I now know which it was.)

I thought my problem was more likely to be over communicating -- I am a prolific writer. I even have "Do not over communicate" as my last and bolded point in "Tips for Success with Conventional Hypnotherapists".

I still think that if you over communicate with a new therapist, especially just before or after your first session, that you are likely to make her think that you want to latch on or will be difficult to manage. It may be that after they are comfortable with you that they welcome more communications, that these remind them of the sessions and takes them away for a moment from their other world. I would still encourage waiting until it is clear you are welcome – remember that I have a long history with these ladies and have proven that I am safe for them.

I had to smile a bit, maybe even chortle, when she was suggesting more emails as I was thinking of this trend. I could not see her but I imagine she was a bit flustered at why I was chortling at so serious a suggestion. She then gave me a suggestion related to my next walk, and got another chortle, but that is another story.

====

Hmm, I'm done with this post. I guess I'll email it to Mistress N.

0 Comments:

Goddess B writes

For the first time ever, Goddess B has discussed something other than logistics in a written communication, and it has only been last week that she started signing her emails with her Goddess name.

It turns out that she felt most empowered by having me water the plants and sweep the leaves. I think there just must be something about hypnotizing a man to do household chores that must give some deep satisfaction to Mistresses because each has found a way to do some of this, even Mistress N. It is my least favorite thing, and my doing it actually shows a form of true surrender, but I hope it does not become too popular with Goddess B. I'd probably like it more if I were deeper before starting them instead of it being a just in the door sort of thing, but I'll probably never like it all that much.

I could ask her to not do it and I'm sure she would honor my request, but I won't. If this helps her explore her side of this, then it is time well spent. I might not be that fond of it, but if it gives me a more confident and hypnotically assertive lady I'll probably have it made up in other areas. If it gets her out of her box, we will both benefit.

0 Comments:

Sorry, Mistress, I'm booked

Mistress X wanted to know if I was available to help test some mp3s she is producing. (Free hypnofun for me.) I had to decline because my available time is all booked with other Mistresses.

That is weird. I'm feeling quite appreciative right now.

0 Comments:

She Told Me to Choose a Pretty One This Time

Today during a hypnosis session with Mistress X she filed my nails. She noticed that they are not looking nearly as nice as they have been (I had been kind of hoping for another hypnotic manicure interlude and was hoping N or X would order one, but the nails got long and I did a typical guy hack job on them. ) They are too short and uneven to do anything with, but she instructed me to have them done before I see her again.

She also told me to choose a pretty one this time, maybe go to a quieter nail salon and maybe even say something about finding it hypnotic and sort of trancing out and see if they then don't feel like they are supposed to chatter.

As readers may know from Hypnotized twice by mysterious strangers and Mani-Hypnotized * 20, when I had previous hypnotically ordered manicures, I basically took the high road and did not choose the manicurist based on their looks or attractiveness. On the other hand, as described in Choosing a Pretty Stranger to Hypnotize You, if I'm going to do it I might as well have the most enjoyable experience possible.

So, I really do get to "go shopping" for a place that will give me a nice and quiet manicure experience (with hypnotic overtones not known to them) from somebody I will find pleasant to be working on me.

0 Comments:

She must be a Stone Cold Idiot

I am sad to say that Jeff was unsuccessful in his plea. He got back a snotty reply that he should seek counseling to work out his [psychobabble] issues.

At least he saved himself the session fees.


BTW, the title of this post is taken from Mistress X's comments in the alternative plea because anybody you would have to be an idiot to not take the nice bloke that Jeff is. However, Mistress X knows Jeff and this hypnotist did not, so despite my tendency to use intriging post titles I'm not really trying to apply this label to that hypnotist.

0 Comments:

Goddess B returns

The question going into this session with Goddess B was if she would still be a Goddess and if she would still be operating outside or her customary box. Readers may remember that my last session with her was just after Hypnotist X and I had hypnotized her, after X had given G goddess training. During B’s last session with me she had branched out considerably from her usual massage centric approach. Since then B has had a week to think, a week in which she showed that she was still shy about the whole thing but that she did want to acknowledge it at least a bit, and a week during which X decided to back away from the Goddess stuff.

It started much like the last session. The “R” trance trigger after minimal meet and great discussion and then some household chores. There was no deepening before she had me start on the first chore, using a hose to water some plants in her backyard, but she did do her more or less normal deepening chant as I did it. In the chant she repeatedly used the term Goddess, so that question was answered. I’m still not fond of these sorts of chore activities, but I may like them more if the trance had been more fully established and deepened before starting them. However, that I do them without question is an establishment and validation of the control the hypnotists have. Other chores included sweeping leaves, winding the hose, and watering plants from a pitcher. Somewhere in there, she also had me briefly wake up and describe something interesting from the weekend.

Going into her studio she used a pendulum to reinduce trance. Here the suggestions were related to relaxing and letting go rather than the suggestion implantation that happens when I repeat a suggestion while pendulumized while already tranced. My last chore for the moment was putting the sheets on the massage table. This act, or more specifically my lack of coordination during this act, showed a trance effect. It was at my limit of capabilities to notice that a fitted sheet was folded in half and to figure out how to unfold it.

The session then followed her basic massage pattern of my relaxing and going deeper on the table as she massage my muscles and continued her enchantments. She had me up and down a few times. I forget the first one or two. She woke me up midway to talk to her again and again used the pendulum to reinduce trance. Something in how she did it however got me into state where my eyes were fully open and I was ready to just obey, deeply wanting to actually. I don’t think she knew what was happening and might have been wondering why my eyes were still open and she used the N trigger to get me re-plopped on the table.

She did have me at some point get up to read to her a term from the glossary of her massage book. However, I could not find the term she wanted, or the second one she gave me. The terms were common ones, so either the glossary was lousy or I did not have the mental horsepower to use it properly.

She touched on giving an exercise related suggestion, but limited herself to reinforcing what the other hypnotist is doing. I’m glad for that because I am at risk of conflicting or uncoordinated suggestions due to having so many hypnotists.

She awoke me at the end of the session with something I still needed to do for her, basically the same as the “awake123” she sometimes uses in mid session to have me follow while awake a hypnotic command she had just given. Probably because of this, I was still a bit buzzed when talking to her after dressing and on the way out. I mentioned this to her and she cycled me again with a more normal end of session sort of wakeup.

It is funny how I said very little this time in trance. Maybe the activities she had me do used that initiative, or maybe I just did not have the 40 minutes or so of passive time I seem to go through before becoming trance chatty.

1 Comments:

 Deep Trancer said...

You mean that Goddess B cannot tease you that she is a Goddess and you aren't? That was going to be fun.

Terms here are going to be a challenge as I blog from the first person, and it is most natural (and real) to use in the blog the same thing I use in person. If I flipped or stripped the reference in the blog it will probably come through as strange. If I called you GM in a session, it would be most natural to also do so when I blog about the session.

Changing the title from session to session or even within a session seems right. Titles do carry connotations (even if what the connotations are for us are not what they are for others) and as our hypnotic experiences cover such a wide range it does not seem than any title would cover all of it, so using the title that fits the moment is perfect.

5/25/2005 11:23 AM  

Alternative Plea

Jeff asked me what I thought of his plea (after he had sent it).

Just as a throught experiment, I reworked it a bit while still trying to retain the story and phrasings. This version has less emphisis on the hypnotic interest being a deep secret and perhaps by so emphisizing invite a rejection.

Note: I have no reasons whatsoever to believe that this version would have results any different than Jeff's original. It is just a different arrangement of the same thoughts.

====

Dear Lady Hypnotist,

Many thanks for taking my call yesterday and I apologize if what I said came as something of a surprise.

Ever since I was about nine years old, I have been absolutely fascinated by hypnotherapy, but more particularly the thought of being hypnotized. As I've grown older, learned more about it and experienced hypnosis many times (by both professional and amateur hypnotists), I have come to sum up my fascination as follows: The whole thing to me, is the actually being hypnotized and being in hypnosis and the fact that I am indeed hypnotized, being proven to me, and then a huge desire to go as deep as possible and to really feel that descent into trance.

I've learned that hypnosis can not only help me in many areas of my life (it already has inadvertently or otherwise) but that, for me, it is also immensely enjoyable. And perhaps therein lies the nub of my difficulty. I have a friend who calls herself a "massage slut." She has a professional massage at least twice a week, is constantly on the look-out for new and interesting massage experiences and techniques, and is, as she herself puts it, addicted to it. This predilection, to most people (and despite the occasional double-entendre) does not seem to bother anyone to whom she confesses. However, I have learned to NOT make the same confession about my passion for hypnosis. Most people I've "come out" to have reacted somewhere along the spectrum of distrust and unease and I have learned to be guarded and guilty about it. I would hope that it is ok to be open about this interest with my hypnotherapist.

The thing most people fear with hypnosis is the letting go. With me, that's exactly what I crave. In my everyday life, business and personal, it is me everyone looks to for decisions. I've come to realize (very recently) that hypnosis holds the answer for many things. If I could communicate honestly and openly with a potential hypnotherapist (which I hope I've done, am doing), that I can come to trust. Then, maybe, just maybe, not only can I make the life changes that I so desperately need, but whilst enjoying being hypnotized, I can suspend that constant decision making, I could fully let go, and just enjoy someone else making the decisions for me. With this balance, hypnosis becomes a beneficial goal for me in its own right.

To be fully open, I will say that under certain very restricted circumstances (i.e., when being hypnotized by my wife, who is a talented amateur hypnotist with a client list of one, me) hypnosis can, for me, be a, well, let's call it a sexual aid. While she is a hypnotist, she is not a therapist and cannot effectively help me make the changes I seek. To be clear, I have absolutely no expectation that anything of a sexual or sexually charged nature will occur during our sessions. What I am asking of you does not in any way involve anything that you, I or any decent human being would consider "inappropriate" You have my absolute assurance that I am not and will not ask of you anything that in any way compromise your position as a professional therapist. What I ask would however have huge, life changing benefits for me!!

I would like to go so far as to suggest some things that you might get out being my therapist: a regular client (who I hope is a nice guy, not for me to say); a hypnotic subject who is happy to learn to completely let go, completely surrender to the hypnosis, a client who is fully prepared to be a guinea pig (if such a thing interests you) in hypnotic induction techniques, triggers, convincers, etc.; and a client who is truly benefiting from life changing therapy and enjoying it at the same time!

By the way, this deep and abiding interest in hypnosis has led me on a massive journey of discovery (initially, I was simply trying to find out if I was alone in this interest.) But like any journey, I've had some incredible surprises along the way and my "hypnotic travels" have spawned some wonderful events in my life (The primary example—by a country mile--that I can offer you is that my hypnosis fascination is the direct reason that I met my wife. I absolutely adore her and she is fully aware of this email and everything I'm communicating, by the way. Our meeting is, of course, a huge, whole other story, that I'd be happy to share with you at some point, if you were interested.) My journey has also been an education far beyond anything Oxford can offer. Needless to say, I'm still very keen to continue learning and growing, and I strongly believe that hypnosis will be the avenue through which I effect some (more) serious life changes.

In a nutshell, it seems that for me hypnosis has been a catalyst; delightfully, it seems to have sparked some sort of guiding energy that continues to bring the right people into my life at exactly the right time. Aside from providing me with my darling wife, another example that I've met online is an American professional hypnotherapist who I have been able to correspond with about this interest. She only recently became aware of it through a client who shares my fascination or passion or whatever you wish to label it. She is fabulous, loving and kind; we have developed quite a correspondence and I have had the pleasure of being hypnotized by her over the phone. However, I have only just made her acquaintance; indeed, I did not meet her until after I had found your website.

Speaking of which, I find it extremely interesting (especially in light of the fact that my wife said you had mentioned to her that most of your business comes through referrals) that I don't even remember how I found your site--I just did. I read it and it felt very right. Then I made the appointment with you and I must say, I found you very easy to talk to on the phone. I was just going to come along, hope the smoking session would work without discussing my larger relationship with hypnosis, and continue to bottle all of this up. But then, of course, I met my new American friend and hypnotherapist online, discovered that she has been treating a fellow who, just like me, had also bottled up his feelings for years. Eventually, he was able to tell her of his predilection, pretty much as I'm now telling you, but only after she had been his therapist for quite a few sessions. Much to his surprise and delight, she was able to understand and accept his love of hypnosis and also accept that he was not asking for anything that compromised her and thereby begin to more accurately and beneficially develop and target his treatment. And they have continued to enjoy a mutually beneficial hypnotherapist/client relationship.

I really DO need help with the things I want to work on with you, and I now know with dead certainty that hypnosis can help me with the changes I need to make, but only if I do not hide my hypnotic fascination from the person I'm asking for help. I've been needing to make serious life changes for some time. I love life and I want to live and though I've suppressed it, I know that if I don't make changes now, I'm going to pay the price. That's why I initially sought you out.

Thank you most sincerely for your patience and attention. I do hope you are comfortable proceeding with our session.

Kind Regards

0 Comments:

Lady Julia's Inquiry

I got a surprise instant message from Lady Julia late last night. She had seen my teaser blog entry regarding saying bye to Goddess X and wanted to know if I was ok. Well, as you all now know. Hypnotist X is still involved and we are fine, but the inquiry shows Lady Julia's caring nature.

Our chat went into an ethics discussion that had been pending. The discussion was wide-ranging and fruitful. I think we understand each other's positions.

In the discussion, one thing became clear. She is as nice and articulate in 1:1 conversation as she is in her group. It is even more true that everything I can see about her indicates that she qualifies by my definition of a light worker female domme hypnotist.

I recommend her and her recordings without hesitation, and the one on trance safety is a real must for anybody. I also find that her LadyJulia Yahoo group is the best active moderated group for discussion of this sort of hypnotic interest.

Links for Lady Julia:

• Her LadyJulia Yahoo group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LadyJulia
• Her main site http://www.ladyjulia.net
• Her blog: http://entrancingjulia.blogspot.com
• Her recordings: The location changes, so see the links page in her Yahoo group

Thank You, Lady Julia, for the chat, it was quite interesting.

0 Comments:

Bye-Bye Goddess X

X and I are changing the nature of our interaction, the terms Mistress and Goddess will no longer be associated with her and we will be not often following that path. She will however still be guiding me into surrender, getting me as deep as possible, and driving for awhile. I will still have a place to relax, unburden, unwind, and get a balance in my complicated life. She will still tell me what to do while in trance. It just will not be tangled up in that Mistress/Goddess stuff.

Basically, the terms Mistress and Goddess brought too much with them, and with her having "gone public" the terms encourage misconceptions. The reality is that she and I are not acting in isolation. Also, terms Mistress and Goddess were changing us and our interactions.

At first, terms like Mistress and later Goddess were freeing and empowering. They were an open acknowledgement of acceptance of surrender in hypnosis. We had uncovered this need, oscillated a bit about it, and then embraced it. We thought we could define the terms to mean whatever we wanted them to mean (and I did offer a very narrow definition in "Calling Somebody Mistress or Goddess"). We were wrong about this in two significant ways.

The first way we were wrong was that the terms did carry in other associations even between the two of us and while we could remind ourselves that those associations were not it for us, it is a hassle to need such reminders. Perhaps if we had isolated ourselves from all others we could have worked the terms to match our desired definitions, but we are not isolated.

This takes me to the second way in which we were wrong to think we could define those terms to mean what WE meant them to mean. We are telling our story and discussing it. It may be from behind pseudonyms, but we are telling it and the definitions are not just between her and I. I could point endlessly to our very narrow definition, but we would never overcome the associations others have that comes just from the use of those terms. With X having gone public, these false associations become something she has to correct.

Besides the associations with the terms, just having the terms turned out to be restrictive rather than empowering. It placed an expectation that neither of us realized of the direction we would follow. One of us might wonder if they were being "Goddessy enough". This lead to odd things like observing that she could still work on a therapeutic goal despite being a Goddess. Such an observation all by itself is a declaration that "being a Goddess" had started imposing limits. The term had moved from being an acknowledgement of the freedom to be controlling into a limitation on future states.

There is even more to it than the terms used. Surrender and dominance provides a fertile ground for abuse of power. For a while, the dominance thing was growing and we did hit some spots where we realized that we had gone go far. I don't mean that we crossed a line such as that about our sexuality, I mean that something was done that we later think should have been done differently. Power terms like mistress and goddess encourage extreme behaviors. I think that if Hypnotist X were to list any moments she regretted over the 5 months of our interactions, all of the top ones would be associated with some strong assertion of power. It has been tried on, and it was a fun outfit for a while, but it is not really her style.

So will I miss it? I don't know and I'll find out in time. I never thought the terms or the stronger power assertions were essential for either of us and doing them was a form of mutual experiment and if you scroll down in to the yellow shaded parts of the blog you will see that we had a 3 month history of satisfying interactions before the 2 months of mistressy stuff. Also, I may well still be having that sort of interaction with some of the others, or maybe not. I'm very flexible in what satisfies me.

I think we may well be still often beyond Nirvana, but in "Beyond Nirvana" I mentioned that Nirvana was a state onto which any number of directions might be superimposed. Only one of these directions is the Mistress/Goddessy stuff. I get the feeling that there are a huge number of other directions to try.

So what will I call her now? In the blog, I will refer to her as Hypnotist X, a term I used earlier in this blog. In real life, it gets interesting. I will at her request be referring to her by a variant of her first name that she dislikes, one that she associates with some bad feelings from childhood. So why will we be using this worst of her name variants? We are using it because she wants to make it not be bad, that hearing it from me, especially in the tones I use in trance, will reset those bad associations.

I do not know if this will affect what terms I use with the other hypnotists. I have always given each hypnotist their choice of names. There is considerable interaction among us, however, and what happens with one pairing can effect another pairing. I don't worry about it because the label is just a label, and if they all chose something else, that will by itself be interesting. I did have to chuckle a bit at the thought that now B can assert that she is a Goddess and X is not.

I will confess that when this discussion with her started that I feared that it was going to be some sort of rejection, perhaps her closing the door to our sort of interactions or to me. It is not that at all. She is still my provider and gatekeeper of all things hypnotic, and she still intends to honor her promise that I'll never be without hypnofun again. She is still interested in establishing deep hypnosis and surrender and guiding for a while. It will not be influenced (restricted) by these Mistress terms and the expectations they brought with them, and our interactions will probably be more gentle and loving in nature, better matching her nature.

Bye-bye Goddess X and bye-bye Mistress X. Welcome back Hypnotist X.

0 Comments:

Finally Beginning to Understand

This entry contains the exchange that gives the best perspective about being hypnotized .vs. the Mistress and Goddess stuff.

It starts with comments from Jeff the Limey after he read Tips for Success with Conventional Hypnotherapists. Earlier, Jeff had indicated in these comments that he was considering trying a UK hypnotist and it was this comment that started my thread on "Success with Vanilla Hypnotists" that got some play in the LadyJulia Yahoo group.

I added the bolds and italics to Jeff's message below.

Jeff's Differences:

Hmm,

Very very interesting DT. You've certainly given me food for thought (like I didn't have enough already!

I still haven't spoken to [the UK hypnotist], I keep going to and then I feel I should tell her face to face, rather than over the phone. Although, for the sake of less embarrassment, over the phone would be much easier. I was thinking of referring her to the blog, but I've realized, that my needs are different. I do strongly resonate with your view of this kink more than any other and by quite some considerable distance. However there are some subtle differences, which, for some reason have become more apparent reading this post. Pretty much all of what you have suggested, I completely agree with. Particularly the part about not wanting an immediate answer. I would approach the conversation with..I don't expect a reply to what I'm going to tell you, but for the sake of my sanity and if there's any chance of our sessions being successful, then I have to tell you the absolute truth as to why I chose hypnosis as a tool to help me. Etc..

It's really interesting, I have noticed one particular difference between us. Now, what I'm about to say, is not borne out of association with the dark side of hypnosis (at least I don't think it is) I still don't see this kink of ours as "domination" I don't feel the desire to refer to the hypnotist as Goddess or Mistress, don't get me wrong, I'm happy to call them such, but it doesn't resonate with me. The WHOLE thing to me, is the actually BEING hypnotised and being IN hypnosis and the fact that I am indeed hypnotised, being proven to me. and then a huge desire to go as deep as possible and to really feel that descent into trance. As I'm writing this, I'm starting to doubt my own views, because all of that DOES sound just like "domination" It's just that the kneeling before someone, the doing the chores, it's just not for me, it doesn't have any appeal. I suppose, in reality, if a hyp could get me as deep as I desire to go, anything they ask me to do, may become irrelevant (providing I trust them of course). Am I being thick here, or does this make sense?

I would be quite happy to be able to visit fairly regularly and just to be hypnotised, experimented with (in terms of induction, deepeners etc) and just taken as deep as is possible, then to play with triggers etc and enjoy the feelings and suspension of decision making.

Like you, I continually have to make all the decisions. I have huge responsibilities in my work and home life (as wonderful as it is) where I am looked to, to make the decisions. Consequently, to be able to let go, to just be able to suspend that decision making, yes please! Also, where I really resonate with you, which seems to go completely against everything I say above (apart from in my own mind, where it makes complete sense) is in the surrendering, the thought of surrendering to a caring, loving female Hypnotist, yes, that's it for me!

Sorry about the rambling, it just goes like that sometimes.

I will of course blog when I've eventually spoken to [the UK hypnotist]. Gulp!

Cheers
Jeff

My response:
It is interesting to me that my first reaction is "I've been there". I wrote an entry early on called "BDSM? No thanks" where I asserted it was not domination. (I too started to doubt myself as I wrote it.) And until recently, I was repulsed by labels such as Mistress and Goddess. I also sought just being hypnotized, that letting go, that Nirvana.

So what changed?

First, it went from being surrendered only when I made an appointment to do so to really trusting X. She wanted a level of ongoing influence and I found that to be nice because it makes surrender more of a "any time now" sort of thing and I get more samples of the feeling of it. I'm not in her control all the time, but she and I know that with just a word or two verbally or electronically and that changes.

Second was being hypnotized so often that I was ready to go beyond Nirvana. To me, Nirvana is that letting go, that suspension of decision making, that lack of an agenda or desire for one. However, from there you are a bit of a blank slate onto which something else can be temporarily superimposed. (See "Beyond Nirvana"). One possible thing to superimpose is to go from not caring what she does, having it be incidental to you that you are doing it, to actively wanting her to give you things to do and to please her somehow. All of that other stuff is still gone, but it is easier to stay there because there is this other thing occupying your attention. It gives me all I seek in Nirvana, but with even more intensity.

Third was being open in labels and actions about the transfer of control.

I have defined Mistress and Goddess rather narrowly as they apply to me. It means basically that they have and they can and will do so again. With "Mistress" it is that they have had me in nirvana. With "Goddess" it is that they have had me in this actively wanting to serve/please mode.

To me the terms are badges of specialness, an acknowledgement of our bond and their special role with me. I probably use these terms more than I normally would because it is basically a cathartic yelling out of my deepest secret. Also, from a practical matter, just calling them X, N, or B does not work as a writing style in my blog and it is nice to be able to prefix the term with something. In non blogged writings and in verbal non-tranced communications the terms are much less common.

Lets cover some of the other points:

I'm not fond of doing the chores either. However, after I woke up and thought about it for a few days, it was jaw-dropping awesome that she could do it and I had not internally complained even thought it was far from my favorite thing. That was a profound demonstration of surrender, a challenge test much more profound than not opening your eyes. As you said, "if a hyp could get me as deep as I desire to go, anything they ask me to do, may become irrelevant" -- the extended chores were a real demonstration to both of us that this had been achieved.

The kneeling and such, which really does not happen that often or for that long, is really just another confirmation that I'm gone and in their influence. It has (or had) little appeal to me when awake, but at the time it feels right, and it is certainly a "I did *that*" sort of thing to reflect back on. Note that X has addressed several therapeutic sort of issues even after the Goddess thing started.

You should not call them Mistress or Goddess unless it resonates with you. Not doing so is not a sign of disrespect and will not bother them at all. (See "Calling Somebody Mistress or Goddess".)

So to summarize it in sort of a smart-alicky way, it seems to me that what you are wanting is covered in the yellow shaded parts of the blog. I can certainly understand that as you can see that I was the same. Maybe point this out to the UK conventional hypnotist with whom you hope to be successful.

Be aware that after you've had 20+ deep guided surrenders you too may find that you are wanting some sort of next step. However, whatever our similarities so far, there is no assurance that the path you take will remain along the lines of my path. You will chose when you get there.

Best Regards
-- Deep Trancer

Jeff's Follow up:

I just read your response, thanks for taking the time. WOW!! You've really hit the nail on the head, amazing. I think, after all these years, I'm finally beginning to understand, wonderful!!

Thanks mate, you are an absolute star, I've been reading your reply, nodding furiously, exclaiming loudly and listening to the penny dropping. Clang!.

Grinning like a Cheshire cat now! This is so bloody good.

Cheers
Jeff

0 Comments:

Tips for Success with Conventional Hypnotherapists

In some Yahoo groups there have been discussions about what it takes to be successful at getting a conventional therapist to take on a role of establishing full hypnotic control. This blog tells one success story (multiple successes, actually) but the blog takes some time to read. For what it's worth, I thought I'd make my best how-to manual.

I consider one of the most interesting things in this blog to be the progression from an ordinary therapeutic relationship to acknowledgment of hypnosis as a beneficial goal in its own right and then to the Mistress/Goddess full hypnodomination (without meanness, pain, sex, or BDSM). Success with Orthodox Hypnotists contains a timeline of what it took, and I do think getting a conventional therapist involved in this is a challenge for anybody and probably even for me if I ever had to try it again from scratch.

I must be clear that by "Success" I mean that the therapist knowingly and willingly particupates in regularly getting you deeply hypnotized and surrendered. I do not mean that she plays any erotic part or that she tolorates sexual behavior on your part. I do not mean that she enters into any relationship with you outside of sessions. Bear in mind that what you are seeking is theraputic and does not ask for the therapist to violate any APA ethical guidelines, not even sections 3.05 or 10.05.

General tip:

• Be patient and be prepared to pay for the many sessions that will probably be be needed. Most therapists are in a deep rut regarding the usages and benifits of hypnosis and it will take a while for them to recognize their blinders. Let it happen at their timeline.
  

Broaching the subject:

• Do not press for an answer in the same interaction in which you raise the issue. (Maybe raise it over many interactions.) The default answer will typically be to not do anything different than they have done before. Give them time to think. It is best to raise the issue in person and after you have proven that you are nice and safe. (See the comment on patience and a many sessions.) Follow up days later, or see if she cancels a scheduled second appointment. By having already scheduled a second appointment you have a small edge as it is hard to turn away a paying client.
  
• You must articulate well what you want, or they will read into it unacceptable things. Make it clear to them that what you are asking for does not involve sex or messy stuff. They need to understand that you are not asking will not compromise them. Use this blog or any other resources if they apply.
  
• Therapists like to know that they are helping, but it will be some time before they can see that getting you surrendered is helping, so let them work on other things as well. This also makes the sessions be more normal for them and gives you some value for your money.
• Suggest an agenda. Her first thoughts will probably be along the lines of "this is different, is he a pervert, am I safe, is this BDSM, how did I draw this freak to me, why does he think I am that sort of girl, I don't do that'. After she accepts that you are not after the things that she would find unacceptable, her next thought will probably be along the lines of "I must say 'no' because I wouldn't know what to do". Bypass this by suggesting an agenda such as the following:
  
  
  
  • Get you as deep as possible
  
  
  • Get you as fully under her control as she can/is comfortable with
  
  
  • Try a challenge test or 2
  
  
  • [Some therapeutic thing such as reminding you that cigs taste awful]
  
  
  • Implant a compulsive reinduction trigger
  
  
  • Test the trigger (if time permits)
  Given an agenda like that she is more likely to think "well, that is not so bad, I can do *that*, and it does not involve anything weird". The part about the cigs is to appease her therapist side.

An example letter may be found in Alternative Plea, but I recommend making your case in person.

Nurturing the Interest:

• Get it clear in your mind, if you freak them out it is over, and the request itself could push them close to their freak line. Even after many sessions and when they are starting to get into it, the freak out factor is still very near the surface. Remember that they may often be on the verge of terminating the relationship and that this can be from something you did but it can also often be from their own internal discovery and struggles accepting their dominating side.
• Never interact sexually and most certainly never insist that they interact sexually. Keep it in your pants and keep it down.
  
• They will probably oscillate a bit, getting into it and backing off. Let this happen.
• In their oscillations they may go too far or include things that are not your favorites. This is to be expected and must be allowed as they need to explore what the hypnotic control means and does not mean to them.
• Do not initiate physical contact with them, not even a thank you hug, because physical contact is close to what may worry them the most and you are inviting a misunderstanding.
  
• Let them see that this is a harmless fetish
• Let them see how much this is helping you. This is the second most important thing, the only thing more important is not freaking them out. Show them the stress relief, the general contentment level, the getting the monkey off of your back, etc.
  
• Let them see that you are a nice guy.
• Do what you can to build their self-esteem. Make it clear that they are empowered. As Mistress X says, "Knowing that anytime I want, whether by email, phone, or in person, I can zap him, and he will let go, and let me tell him what to do makes me feel very powerful. How lucky am I!"
• Let them know that with you, they are guaranteed to be successful.
• Let them know that you are a test subject for them, that with you they can expand their hypnotic repertoire. Remember that you picked somebody who is into learning (See below).
  
• Let them know that they can and should have fun.
• Let them be bossy. As Mistress X says, "How often in our everyday lives do we get to tell somebody what to do, and they do it without question?"
• Let them know that you will be a regular client.
• Establish that this is a time when they too can walk away from the complexities of their regular life. When the demands on her life seem endless, she can reflect that there is one place where things happen the way she wants them to, where she is the boss, where she is in control and where everybody is delighted with it. And she gets paid!
  
• Communicate with them that you liked the sessions and what it is about them you liked.
• Do not over communicate. Do not flood them with multiple communications or attempt to build a relationship outside of the hypnosis. My rule at first was 1 email between sessions, phone contact only when absolutely necessary for session logistics, and in such calls I would discuss only session logistics unless she initiated other subjects. Latching on practically mandates rejection.
  

Choosing the Hypnotist:
Each attempt is costly and may involve a painful rejection, so do all the checking you can first. Here is what I would look for:

• Experienced -- you do not want somebody fresh out of their weekend hypnosis school. Longetivity means more skilled, less dogmatic, and more likely to still be there next month.
  
• Flexible -- if they seem to have one style for every problem, then they probably only know one style. It is not the style you want, so don't bother. Similarly, look for ones that treat more than one sort of problem, but be wary of those who claim they can work on anything.
  
• Multi-Modal -- this is another indication of flexibility. Those that learn multiple treatment methods are used to picking and choosing from the best of each. Look for some form of touch therapy as well. (It indicates that they are not carrying around some trauma connected with closeness or sexuality. Don't ask them to touch you! You just want somebody who is not living in constant paranoia.)
  
• Author -- writing indicates a willingness to analyze and expand from what they already know
• Describes herself well -- Her web site should have enough content that you get a feel for what sort of person she is.
  
• Non dogmatic and honest -- If you see things like that AHISH declaration (all hypnosis is self hypnosis) then consider if you are dealing with somebody who is poorly trained and unquestioning of their training, or who whose ethics is such that they are ok with giving just part of the story if it helps them.
• Healed -- avoid the walking wounded. Many therapists were wounded, many have healed, many haven't. Working with you can heal them in some cases, but in other cases you'll suffer due to their issues.
• Stable -- experienced and healed are some indicators of stability.
• Know why they are in the business.
• Articulate -- this indicates a thinker, and thinkers are more prone to be flexible
• Constant Learner
• Assertive -- they need to have a pattern of going their own way and to like doing so. You are asking them to go into unexplored territory and you need an adventurer. Also, assertive on conversation can imply willingness to be assertive in trance.
  
• Kind
• Controlling -- Some hint, any at all, that they may have a controlling side. If you see a reference to Goddess, check for wiccans and earth mothers. This does not mean that they don't qualify, it just means that the term is not an indicator of a controlling side.
  
• Minimal Pseudo Science -- avoid those who are also into bogus activities or the fad of the week.
  

Useful Posts:

• What does the hypnotist get?
• Fun for Hypnotherapists!
• A Love Letter to our SS
• The Perfect Mysterious Male Subject
• How To Be Successful With a Conventional Hypnotist
• Nearly Successful with Orthodox Hypnotist
• Success with Orthodox Hypnotists
• What I am not
• The Dark Side of Dominance, BDSM or other
• BDSM? No thanks

0 Comments:

Beyond N's Eyes

Had an in-person with Goddess N in her second studio location.

I waited in the reception area for just a minute or two before she greeted me. We talked about Goddess X a bit when with no warning she just did a quick wave across my face, snapped her fingers, and told me to "sleep". My head dropped instantly. (I had buzzed just talking to her.) In her soft voice she gave me words to go even deeper still while occasionally pressing on a shoulder or head. She certainly was delivering suggestions to submit, and she may have been also delivering suggestions to desire and to need to please her. At one point I stood up and gently swayed under her encouragement.

She asked me what I wanted from the session. In hindsight I can say that the answer should have been "Everything and Nothing". I had not arrived with any particular desired event and I think I managed to articulate that.

The timeline is just guesswork from this point.

She squatted or sat in front of me (I was in a chair) and had me look into her eyes while giving me suggestions to go deeper, to submit, etc. I found it very easy to look at her eyes indefinitely, and I'd sometimes be looking at one or the other, or at both, or at all 4 of them. (She does not wear glasses; the 4-eye effect was from my eye coordination.) I was lost in those eyes while her voice bounced around in my mind. I remember the voice, but not the words. I was just feeling mindless comfort and contentment and to the very minimal degree I could have any wish at all, it was just for "More, More!" I definitely wanted/needed/was compelled to please her, and I was ready to do whatever she wanted. I was definitely submitted to her and those gorgeous hypnotic eyes.

Somewhere in here she started referring to herself as Goddess, but it might have been "Goddess for you" or "your Goddess". (I don't think she is ready to be a Goddess in general, but she is ok with or even desirous of being a Goddess to me.) It didn't matter, she was my Goddess, I was in her spell, I was submitting to her, and was going to do whatever she wanted. She was my Goddess.

We did the eyes again later. In both times I think she planted the idea that I'd be able to see her eyes over the phone. It is funny how something that started with a perfect unknown mysterious female hypnotist and a perfect mysterious male subject is migrating to be anchored by something as intimate (but still mysterious) as eyes.

She practiced with unspoken suggestions, where by touch alone she made one arm stiff and then the other, made them fall, crossed and bent them, and had my hands moving in circles first in one direction and then in the other. She also used them during eye contact to get me to close my eyes again.

Hmm, there she is again squatting in front of me, and is that an emery board? I'm not sure who filed my nails. I think I did some of it, but she may have done some also. Even my fingers were submitted to her. She used the sound and sight of the board to take me even deeper. I then did her nails, being somewhat concerned about my level of coordination and that I would do them correctly. She didn't help at all by continuing to give me those compelling suggestions. You just want to fade away, but you are faded away and you get that much more intensely into what you are doing. My universe was very narrow right then, just the warm and soft feel of her fingers, the sound of the emery board, and the sound of her voice.

She had me look at her hand, which was held close to my face. She then gave me suggestions about it moving, disappearing, and reappearing. I sort of had a dual consciousness, one working from the suggested imagery, and one working from where her hand actually was. Note that this sort of imagery involvement is where my hypnotic skills are weakest.

Back eyes closed in the chair and she is moving next to me. I'm confirming that I will do anything she asks (and I meant it) and that I desire/want/need to please her. I did so want that but hypnotic inertia and mindlessness prevented me from making any attempt to guess what that might be, so I just waited for instructions.

She had me standing up being a tree for a short while. We ended up switching chairs, I'm not sure why. I think she did something with me from the changed position, but it is lost to me.

She started talking about wanting tea and how I would go out to the reception area (shared with other practitioners) and get her some. She described the location of the water and tea bag and wanted assurance that I would stay in trace. Well, this was a non-issue because just as I am weak at imagery, I'm great at physical interaction. Moving around causes some greater alertness as I'm making decisions and navigating, but I still stay profoundly under. Soon I was in trace opening her studio door and walking unescorted into the reception area to fetch the tea. I heard some voices talking but didn't pay any attention. (In hindsight, they were talking over some business.) When walking back to her studio I noticed one person, a 30ish good looking lady waiting for somebody, and I had a brief thought of wondering what she would think if she knew that I was fully in Mistress N's control.

After a short while back in the chair, Mistress N announced that she was hungry and started moving around. She said something like "I bet you are wondering what happens next". (Post session comment: Watch out, Mistress N, the last time somebody said something like that I gave you a surprising note.) Well, this time I not only did not have any notes, I also had not been thinking at all about what might happen next. That she said she was hungry and was moving around was not sufficient to start me wondering, I was merely waiting to be told what happens next, and content to do so. I knew that she would tell me what to do, and I would do it. There is no need for wondering.

She escorted me to the kitchen and gave me directions in small increments that resulted in her sandwich being microwaved in 2 phases and assembled. I had enough mental horsepower to do small things correctly, such as picking up the sandwich by the plate on which it was sitting. I was mindless between tasks, instead of finishing and thinking "What next", I just finished and waited. After the assembly was complete she escorted me back. I have no idea if anybody saw us and I would not have cared if they had. It may be for the best that we did not run across people because up close it may have been obvious I was in a funny state (or they might have just thought I was a bit weird), and if somebody had asked I probably would have given a full confession.

Back in her room, I returned to the chair. She offered to share her food but I declined. I don't think she ate.

(General note to Mistress N, and to the other Mistresses: I tend to book lunch sessions and I am very appreciative that you accommodate me so often. I also know that you may have sessions close together or other demands. So I have a special request: If you are hungry, please eat. I'm well fed, probably too well fed, and I do not have blood sugar issues or "food crashes" so please presume that I have or will take care of myself food wise. Don't think of it as being impolite or distracting, it is not and I'm generally too far gone to care. Actually, it would be a statement of our trust and bonds if you were comfortable eating in session with me.)

I received suggestions about being hypnotized at the first sound of her voice or with her touches. No problem!

We had another very nice eye contact interaction. Lots of deep gazing, "look beyond my eyes", suggestions delivered and forgotten, and lots of silent communication. I love to be there and to be submitted to her, and I think she loves to have me there. I think she may have suggested a bond, but if so it was just stating the reality. There is a deep bond between us, and it seems to be getting deeper with each submittal. I was completely comfortable beyond her eyes, in her control, comforted, wanting to please her. It was and is comforting to know that she can put me back there so easily and that she is inclined to do so again. When she mentioned the bond, it was if there was a very strong 1/2 inch bar or pipe connecting our heads. As I'm writing this, I'm wishing she was here or I was there again. Looking into those eyes, trusting, surrendered and submitted, and feeling that intimate bond is so perfect on so many levels that it is beyond my current power to describe.

After a bit more chair time, she had me notice the sound of the clock ticking. I had a flash of that previously unnoticed clock being my enemy, something working against my goals, something to be resisted. Oh no! She is waking me up. A slow count to 5 with some more suggestions delivered through it and I've climbed back out of that well into wakefulness.

Chatted shortly regarding some business things, but she had another client due.

This was a great session, and one that is fading rapidly from my memory. (This effect of hypnosis is so weird.) The last session had a long residual effect, and I can tell that this one will as well. I'm just sitting here soaking in that warm bonded feeling. When you next call, my Goddess, or when I next see you, I will go, happily go, and probably go even farther.

Thank You, this was perfect.

2 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

Not many people get to visit heaven on their lunch hour. Thank for sharing the pleasure.

5/18/2005 4:56 AM  

 Anonymous said...

It was perfect wasn't it!

5/19/2005 10:47 PM  

Teasing Responses from Goddess B

Some blog reader may remember that Goddess B's work with me helps rebuild her self confidence. You may also remember that in Goddess Training she surprised me by asking for more emails. I was surprised because I had so far gotten only responses that could have been sent to any client, such as ‘Monday noon it is" with no reference to the special nature of our interaction. I think that some of my emails probably had her itching to send a real response, but that her bashfulness prevented her from expressing herself beyond her normal patterns. She clearly wants communications more than just logistics, she even reinforced her command for more emails with some pendulum work the next day.

I did not get a session this week because she is vacationing, so I sent her a "missing our session" nice sort of email on the day we normally would have had it. The email contained gentle reminders of how she enchants me and how nice that is for me.

Well, she has made some progress. Most of her reply was what you might see on a postcard, phrases like "having a great time", but she signed it "Goddess [her real first name]"

My Goddess B: I said that I would try to tease real responses out of you. If you feel like expanding, here are some possibile things you could talk about:

• Did you like the Goddess training? What part was the hardest? What part had the most impact or significance for you?
• What were you thinking and feeling when I was doing those chores at your command?
• Once you got started, was it hard to work and improvise without notes?
• How was it to use the pendulum on me in our private session?
• What did YOU like most about our private session where you broke out of your box?

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Stepping out of Goddess B's box

Goddess B and I had our first session since I participated in hypnotizing her regarding some core rejections in her life and after I told her that today she was a Goddess.

She greeted me outside her door (in a place not visible to anyone else). I had just enough time to verbally remind her that today she was a Goddess when she tranced me with the "R" trigger.

With little deepening, she had me start right in on some housework related to a pending trip of hers including sweeping dust off of a suitcase, pouring cat food, stacking a hose, and refilling a bird feeder. She gave hypnotic phrases and deepenings as I was doing this, even getting into the tones of voice and timings she normally uses in her session room. I probably would have preferred some deepenings before starting in, but I am conditioned to that trance trigger, and to the degree I wasn't I was aware that she needed this and so I let myself go.

She awoke me and seemed a bit shy. Without her asking, I directly assured her that I was fine with what she was doing. That seemed to be all she needed and she retriggered me.

It is funny. I do not really enjoy the housework although it was better with the stream of her hypnotic patter than an earlier time when Goddess X zombified me for an hour with less than a minute of induction. I'd probably enjoy it more if I were deeper to start with because the inductions and deepenings do help me get rid of the world from which I came. What is funny is that whether it is what I would have most enjoyed or not was not relevant to whether I was doing it. Both Goddess B and Goddess X have demonstrated that with very minimal triggering that they can have me doing household chores. Whether I had a choice about doing them or not is a theoretical question because thoughts of not doing them never crossed my mind. It might not have been my favorite thing, but she told me to do it, and I did it without question. As I look back on it, I see that there is some profound declaration or indication of surrender in this.

I washed my hands in there somewhere, I'm not sure if it was while under or not.

After retriggering, she took me into her kitchen where I did something trivial with a water jug. The next stop was her living room where she asked me if I played any instruments (regretfully, no). She then had me discuss the weather (why does she always chose this?) and then wind up and look at a music box she had in there.

I found that while I had encouraged her to not be worried about the massage parts of the session that I was missing them. There is something deeply soothing in entering "that" room, undressing and getting on the table, and zoning out to her voice and touches.

She awakened me. I again assured her without being asked that all was fine from my point of view as I knew she would be concerned about this. She retranced me and took me to her studio. She had me sit on the unmade massage table (no sheets) and used a pendulum on me. I have a strong image of watching it as she stood before me and of repeating her phrases, but the pendulum magic seems to have again worked – despite having repeated the phrases several times, I do not remember what they were! They were probably related to going deeper, to her being a Goddess, to my doing anything she asks, and maybe about emailing, but I'm not sure if I might not be just filling in the blank with miscellaneous associations.

She then had me make the table. Handling fitted sheets is normally no big deal, but it was a bit of a challenge while hypnotized. She then had me undress and get under the sheets and then call her.

The session then started to fall into our common pattern. She probably was rushing a bit because her total time was less due to the other activities, but the rushing was not obvious. She also threw in more hypnotic commanding activities including activating a Minnie Mouse doll. I don’t know what she had planned as the doll's batteries were dead.

She awoke me in mid massage to discuss the prior day's session where I had helped with her cathartic hypnotized release. She said that I was very effective as a hypnotist. We talked of two key moments as I saw them, one when she gave that paragraph of pained questions to her husband, the one that said so much both in words and between the lines. The other was when she was on the verge of accepting her worth and need a bit of pushing to let the thought settle inside of her.

After retriggering and some more massage, she had me light a candle can (a candle with 3 wicks) and kneel in front of it for a bit while she said some things about which I now have no memories. She also couldn't help herself and just had to give me what she perceived as beneficial suggestions, this time relating to exercise. (She had not read my blogged comments re this.) She delivered a rational that helping me was helping her. I know how hard it is for her to simply accept attention or help and to do things for herself rather than for others, so I guess some of this was needed for her comfort.

After she had awakened me we had a bit of discussion, mostly about this next week when I will not be seeing her due to schedule limitations. Goddess B did comment that she did not make notes for this session, that she had wanted to see if she could improvise and make it work. She can. I was then off to be Goddess X's test subject for Limey's recording.

Goddess X did share one comment that wraps up the session. She had called Goddess B earlier that day both to check on how the residual effects were from the intensity of the prior day (Goddess B was find, the good thoughts had taken root and the bad ones had been released from bothering her.) Regarding the session with me Goddess B had said something like
"I'm not sure if I can do this. . . Oh, to hell with it, I'm doing it"

That's the idea, Goddess B, you can do it, you did do it, and you can and will do it again. I think we really broke some barriers for you this time and now that you know that you can make it work, I think we will have some surprising sessions that will be fun and informative for us both.

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Experiencing Jeff's Scenario

I got an interesting call from Goddess X today (not as interesting as Jeff got, but I'll get to that). She had tried to make an mp3 recording for Jeff as part of his session with her (see Love Across the Ocean) but she had tried a new microphone and the quality was not right. She wanted to retry and wanted to know if I could come over to be the one she would be talking to while making it. What a deal! I had a session with Goddess B scheduled but did have a bit more time so I agreed to pop into Goddess X's studio right afterwards.

Those doorway trance triggers are fun, but sometimes they can be inconvenient. Gardeners were working right outside her door and as I tranced out in the doorway she quickly let me inside enough to shut the door. I wasn't really worried about them anyway. She did tell me that one of them earlier had asked what she does and reacted with curiosity she said she was a hypnotist. "The hypnotist and the gardener" sounds like the title of a mcstory entry.

It's funny. I used to read mcstories avidly, but now I'm not. I'm living a mcstory instead. Goddess X and I chatted about how unreal this story is, how it has taken on twists and turns that are far outside any expectations. So what happens next? Another twist, of course.

Goddess X noticed that there was a chance she might catch Jeff at home and he had told her to call anytime, so she did. It was after all to be his recording and it was built around a favorite fantasy scenario of his. He was home, and he could be available in 5 minutes. He and I even chatted briefly, and while I have wielded a pen in this blog, this was the first time I had a voice outside of the circle of my Mistresses.

Goddess X then had the phone and Jeff did something that practically made my jaw drop in envy – he put his wife on to talk to Mistress X! He is one lucky bloke! I would have agreed that he was the luckiest man in the world except for one thing, I was there in person with Mistress X. Living this story makes me feel like the luckiest man ever.

His wife is a reader of this blog. Welcome. You and Jeff are free to email or contribute anytime. I'd personally love to know what changes you see in Jeff from the viewpoint of being his wife, and how you feel about his participation. Maybe I'll even find something in there that might help me sell the idea to my wife. (I wish). I'm sure many of my readers would also love to hear your viewpoint.

Through Mistress X, Jeff asked me for tips on how to better go under. The question surprised me and I didn't have much of an answer ready. Goddess X describes me as one of her best subjects ever, but I know I was not always this way so it must be an acquired skill. All I could really think of was that while it is so tempting to want to treasure and hang on to every hypnotic word because they are so rare, you might go deeper if you let go of even that need. (However, I don’t think that at the time that I expressed it clearly.)

It was time for the trances and recording to start. Mistress X used a style of speaking with pauses, with her speech starting out sort of fast and then getting slower as we got deeper. It was quite effective as I found myself dreaming in the gaps, basically filling in the scenario with details drawn from my experiences. I don't remember much about the induction and, like the excellent hypnotist she is, Mistress X created a seamless transition from induction to scenario.

The scenario was basically of being in a room or large hall and being drawn to an attractive lady. She charms you with comforting words but draws you in subtly until you end up in her complete control. Neat. She should start selling this.

I was enjoying the story when all to soon it ended (it is always too soon). As it ended I had a flash of awareness that Jeff was also participating, that somebody else was going on this ride with me. While he and I may have filled in the details differently and while we naturally experienced the trance and scenario in unique ways, we were significantly locked in sync by us both being in sync to Mistress X's words and instructions. That was a new feeling, but not an unwelcome one.

Jeff and I chatted briefly afterwards. We agreed to each not read anything from the other until we had finished independent write-ups, I would blog them both, and if we wanted we could then comment on each other's story.

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Note to a Goddess

(Sent to Goddess B after Goddess training and before today's hypmomassage session.)

Today, you are to be a Goddess. Not a massage therapist, not a hypnotist trying to best serve me, but a Goddess learning and exercising her influence.

I'll be disappointed if you spend much time in the session trying to give me helpful suggestions. Remember that I do have many others doing that also, so your not doing them this time is perfectly fine.

I'll be disappointed if you spend too much time this session on the massage, or if I get a particularly good massage. Today, you are a Goddess.

I know that we have a pattern where you get me into your enchantment via the massage, so I'm not asking for you to change that. You do know how to enchant me, and you should do it the ways you know best.

The difference is that today you should exercise your Goddess capabilities. Once you have me under, once I'm in your enchantment, once I'll do anything you ask, you should put aside your massage routine, and you should put aside your thoughts that you should find something helpful to suggest. Instead, it is your time to exercise and feel your influence, to deepen your Goddess status, to feel yourself as the Goddess I will be seeing you as. Just simply take control and know that you can do so and that it is ok that you do so.

It is ok if you are not sure what you will do because you can improvise. We improvised with you yesterday and it worked wonders. Trust yourself as I trust you.

You can have me simply obeying, pendilumized and repeating things from my fully letting go checklist (or other things you like better), or just doing silly things. You can have me kneeling in front of you and telling you how you are a Goddess. Actually, I'd be disappointed if you didn't considering that it was done yesterday and how appropriate it is for you at this time. You can have me alert or sleepy, but either way you will have me in your enchanted control.

When you need a break, you can simply put me back on the table and do a bit of that routine that comforts you as much as it does me, relax a bit, and then start it again.

Today you are a Goddess.

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Goddess Training

This is part 2 to "Why did you leave me". In this part, Goddess X explicitly trains Goddess B how to be a Goddess.

I teased Goddess B about her use of notes and her adherence to schedule. "If its 45 minutes into the session, it must be time for the right leg". Planning ahead for a session is fine and so is using notes, but she should also develop a willingness to improvise. She confessed that she would be thinking that I'd not get the full massage and thus not get full value from the session. Goddess X spoke up for me, pointing out that while I like the massage, I'm mainly there for the hypnosis.

I was in and out of trance throughout, mostly in, but I'd come out for a bit before being retriggered (at least once by accident) or induced in some way. Goddess B asked at one point "is he out"? (I was under but not "out"). She was surprised at the quickness of the reinductions. I was surprised at her being surprised as her sessions with me are extended fractionations. Maybe she is used to seeing this work with triggers and did not realize that it works for other methods as well. Goddess X explained that I had become conditioned to being in trance for them and that it did not take much. That is certainly true, and after you have been hypnotized and awakened there is a residual period of wooziness where reinduction is a snap, literally, the memory and feelings of where you were is still there and you get back to it super quickly and minimal encouragement. There is a definite conditioning effect. I don't think I could stay out of trance for long in Goddess B's massage studio. If I were undressed I would have a extreme difficulty because it is so clear to me that when I am there, when I am with her, when I am prepared for the massage, that the mental place for me to be is to be hypnotized and surrendered to her control. I am conditioned. That is also why she can have so much freedom playing with commanding me, because even if some of the commands were awkward or involved things that might make it hard to remain tranced. If I'm in that room in that state I NEED to be hypnotized, so even if I woke up for a moment the room itself, her presence, and my state would rehypnotize me form this conditioning. When I am there, I am in her control. It is that simple.

We discussed the retrancing with her. I asked Goddess B is she had any doubts at all about what would happen to me if she used one of those triggers. She seemed confident that the work, but fretted that she does not yet understand how it works. Well, people are still trying to learn more about how hypnosis works, but it does work.

Goddess X has Goddess B try issuing Goddessy suggestions. (Watching explicit Goddess to Goddess training is like catching an unexpected solar eclipse.) Her attempts:

• The first try was her fallback suggestions such as taking care of myself
• The next try was generalities to broad to be actionable.
• The next try was a specific exercise suggestion. However, it illustrated the dangers of giving me suggestions that affect me outside of sessions because it would have interacted non-constructively with other exercise suggestions I am working on. Do NOT give me suggestions that affect me outside of sessions without checking with me first. No matter how well intentioned, these can cause complications and I need to check each of these suggestions. I cannot enter that surrendered nirvanic state I so need where I do not check each suggestion if during that time I will be given suggestions that need to be checked.
• The next suggestion was to send her more emails – This surprised me and I probably laughed because I limit these to her. This is both because we have no business interactions outside of the sessions, and because when I’ve sent notes or comments I get back 1 liners such as ‘Monday noon it is”. The one time she did request a communication was so noteworthy I blogged it. I guess she has been enjoying the notes but lacked the self-confidence to make the responses she wanted. Well, I’ll send more emails when I think of her, which is often. I’m also going to resume the efforts I make to try to tease a real response out of her.

I think Goddess X decided that even more explicit training is needed. She took over and ordered me to need to communicate to Goddess B her Goddess status and to get before B on my knees. I end up there holding B’s hands and rambling. Goddess X pointed out that I’m high, that I was experiencing opiates and endorphins, that I was operating out of my right brain. I don’t do drugs, so I can’t compare, but Goddess X is right, this is what I want and is to what I’ve become accustomed or even addicted. After this discussion I’m still rambling on and they realize that they never told me to stop communicating. Hmm, stopping hadn’t crossed my mind. ;->

I’m back in the chair going in and out of trance when we discuss what else Goddess B might do. I mentioned that I’ve suggested pendulums several times but Goddess B is too unsure to try it. OK, now I get to observe (sort of) explicit training on how to use a pendulum. The first is an induction and it is here that Goddess B asked if I was out. Later at my request Goddess X showed Goddess B how to use a pendulum while in trance to burn in a suggestion. I would be looking at that pendulum listening to their suggestion and repeating it, and then being given it again or told to repeat it again. I don’t remember if Goddess X showed her first, but she had Goddess B come over and do two or three suggestions this way. I remember her doing them, I remember the pendulum, I remember repeating the suggestions several times, but as I write this I can’t remember what they were!


Post Notes:

Goddess X has been setting this up for some time. She had been getting massages from Goddess B and saw a need, but could not get Goddess B to agree to pay attention to herself (she is always helping others). So, she brought in Goddess B to help me, and in the process persuaded her to get help for herself.

I'm at more alert trance levels with two hypnotists involved, perhaps because there is more in need of attention.

As I was leaving, Goddess X got a call from Goddess B wanting to be told what had happened.

Well, Goddess X had an hour or two to prepare for her session with Jeff, the Limey bloke, but you know how that turned out.

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Why did you leave me?

Had a very interesting and unusual session today with Goddess X. It involved hypnotizing Goddess B and being hypnotized by both of them, role-playing, emotional release, proclamations of surrender and of control, and transfer of techniques from Goddess X to Goddess B.

This is going to be hard to describe.

First off, I want to make it clear that both Goddesses gave me explicit permission and encouragement to tell this story. Normally the sort of emotions and details it involves would preclude me from blogging it. I had made some comment to the effect that "I wouldn't be blogging this session!" and they insisted I should.

It started with my entering and going through those three trance trigger doorways on the way to Goddess X's studio. Goddess X was shaking my limps for looseness and seemed to be pleased with noticeable improvements with each doorway. When I got through the studio doorway she said something like "guess who's here? But you probably already knew". However, my eyes were closed and I didn't know if it was going to be Goddess B, that new female hypnotist she is introducing, or maybe even Goddess N. When I sat on the table and could open my eyes I saw it was Goddess B sitting in the client chair.

They played it safe this time – they asked me if I had prepared a note. They asked more than once. I wonder why? ;->

While I was still tranced, Goddess X explained the plan for the day. Goddess B had been an important and well-recognized employee with a long history of success with a company she poured her best efforts into. The company changed ownership and the new owners basically pushed out most of the former staff, not by firing, but by making their jobs so unpleasant that they would quit. Goddess B did not realize that she was fighting a battle that could not be won, so the more they criticized her the harder she tried, but of course there was nothing that she could have done that would have been sufficient. By trying so hard and putting so much of herself into this battle that was lost before it started, she lost much of her self-confidence. The plan was that Goddess X would hypnotize Goddess B (which she has been doing since shortly introducing Goddess B to my sessions, but we will talk more of Goddess X's master plan later.) While hypnotized, I would play the part of this mean boss and Goddess B would say what needed to be said.

When given a chance, I asked to not do this while hypnotized. Being mean to Goddess B is not my nature, and certainly not while tranced. Something that difficult takes attention.

Since I was awake, it became a form of a dual induction. Goddess X got it started with an eye contact induction and tested for limb looseness and did not find much. She then had to leave the room for a moment and I continued the induction taking advantage of the garden sounds coming in from the studio's open door and of Goddess B's known affinity for such places. When Goddess X returned we sort of took turns and did some true dual inductions where we would both speak of similar things but with different words and timings. Lots of letting go, letting it go with the birds or winds. Also having her imagine feeling like I feel, being as deep as she sees me go, and drinking from that bottle. We also had her look at herself from my eyes, perceiving herself as I see her. Goddess X and I probably did not synch quite as well as we did when hypnotizing Goddess N but it was still good. Goddess B was definitely under within 5 minutes, not surrendered or out (not that these were our goals), but deep enough to address some intensely emotional areas.

I sat in the chair across from Goddess B, the one that is normally Goddess X's chair, and prepared to play the role of this mean boss. However, before we got to that, Goddess X asked Goddess B if she had anything to say to her former husband.

We were not ready for what came next.

It wasn't fair to lie to me, not telling me that you had problems with your business, that you had somebody else you wanted to be with. If we had talked I could have let you go, but you abandoned [child's name] and me. We did not know where you were, we had those debts, we had to fight. Over the years I wanted her to love you as her father, she needed you. Was I that awful?

That is not a quote, but it gives the feel of what came out and you can imagine the emotional intensity and pain behind these words.

Wow! I was surprised by this, and furious at her former husband whose part I was supposed to play. I did not know this part of her history, and it turns out that Goddess X did not know it either. We could have ended the trance and looked for details, but after several sessions Goddess B was ready for this venting which was an essential step for her, so we improvised. We had about 5 seconds to make that decision and had to do it without speaking.

As her husband, I tried to offer lame excuses (what other kind would there be for a family abandonment?) to give her a place to vent. We blew it in parts such as saying I was young, when her husband turned out to be much older than her, but we corrected as best we could. She talked how she had built a happy home, given of herself, given all she had. How "I" had cheated others in "my" business. Goddess X would point out that "I" did not deserve this sort of devotion, that "I" was not worthy of her efforts, that "I" had the problems, not her. I took the position of a selfish person looking out for themselves, and who just wanted a change, that she was so good I just took all of her efforts for granted.

This is hard to describe, especially working from memory, but we continued along these lines where I tried to give her a person to talk to, so she could vent, while Goddess X would interject value questions such as asking if it were her fault? (Of course it wasn't.) If Goddess X's voice was in Goddess B's head the way it sometimes is in mine we have a powerful demonstration of hypnosis here, because her interjections and questions, if interpreted as if they were Goddess B's own thoughts, were the sorts of questions and viewpoints Goddess B needed to be having as her internal dialog.

After awhile "I" confessed that I had not deserved her, that she was better than that, that she deserved more, that she was ideal, that I was the one that could not cope or see it, etc.

Goddess X then pointed out what happened next, that Goddess B became self sufficient, that she had pulled it together, that she had coped. That she had taken care of it all, and that this showed her values and capabilities.

We then BOTH bowed before her and made it clear to her that she deserved it, that this was her, this WAS her. She started to visibly show that she was receiving this message, but then started to back away from it, so changing to a loud and firm tone I insisted/commanded that she "Feel it!. Don't chase it away, you can't have a barrier here! FEEL IT!" or something like that. Not giving her any chance to form other thoughts, letting that good feeling get back to where it belongs. I seemed to see a visible acceptance of this understanding and acknowledgement of her own worth.

What an intense experience! She came out of trance and visibly released, very visibly affected, emotionally drained, but relieved and bouncy.

We never got to telling off that mean boss.

Now it was time for B to express her Goddessness.

Goddess lessons, anyone?

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