Entertaining Mistress N
5/29/2005
| [+/-] show/hide this post
Mistress N was running late (she called to let me know). I was waiting in the reception area as she walked her previous client out. It is funny that I remember the client's voice seemed to be relieved and that of someone who has just been through something significant, but I remember nothing about the client except for gender and age within 20 years or so. I do not remember hair color, height, girth, or anything else. You would think that a hypnofan such as myself would be deeply curious as to who also got to get a treat and how it affected them, but I seemed to have overlooked this basic curiosity.
I did not feel hypnotized at that time, but writing this I have to reconsider as I seemed to have developed a severe case of selective attention just with Mistress N walking down the hall.
I walked to her office and was placed in one of her two chairs. She has a massage table as well that seems to mostly serve as an impromptu shelf. (Other furnishings: coffee table, some bookcases, carpet.)
I started some minor small talk about how it had gone with her previous client but I was probably not more than 15 seconds into her studio when she waved her hand and snapped and triggered me somehow. My eyes were closed and my muscles starting to relax as she directed me to go deeper, relax, let go, submit, etc. I think it had elements of a confusion induction in it as well as she directed my attention all over the place. She raised and dropped an arm here or there, probably testing muscle tone. There was also a backward count from 100 that had me start by saying the number and "deeper" between numbers and quickly became my losing the numbers and just saying "deeper" in a slow regular rate as she reinforced the deepness and give suggestions between beats.
After awhile, she had me open my eyes and she gave me a stuffed 3 foot teddy bear to use as a puppet. I had the bear wave to her and say a few things I forget. She then had the bear become a small child. I probably shifted the bear and started handling it more like I would a child rather than a puppet. She asked me to describe the child and I used one from a recent experience with a child in need. She then dove a bit into the experience and a new depth of understanding around some things about my background.
She took me up on my special request that they eat in my presence if they are hungry. (It was a noon session.) She had me walk in trance unescorted (she was probably a few feet behind me) to heat her lunch. While waiting for the microwave to finish the amount of time she had told me, she caught up with me and had me sit in a kitchen chair. She had me drink Champaign and tea from an empty cup. On one level I knew it was an empty cup, on another I responded as suggested, envisioning the bubbles in my nose, and swallowing differently depending on the envisioned liquid.
On the way back, she had me sit on the couch in the probably empty reception area and then to lay on it and nap for a bit.
Later in the session she had me get her tea, but only after getting confirmation I knew how to manage the hot water control. I don't think anybody was in the reception area I passed through then either, but I am not sure – that selective attention thing makes it unclear.
She also had me empty her trash – I think there is something about having a hypnotized man doing chores that is a deep satisfaction common to all my Mistresses.
At several times in the session she had me tell her a story. She gave me the option of using a real story or making one up, but I don’t think I could make one up while in trance, I just do not have the mental horsepower to do that sort of what-if planning it takes to compose a story line. I chose to tell real stories from my life. You know, tales of projectile wounds, residual metal shards not implanted by any doctor, wild-west bars, movie productions, bank robberies, tear gassings, fights, automobile .vs. bike, child labor, private investigators, legal conflicts, bill collection, assignations, that sort of stuff. (Well ok, it was not exactly that, but I'm not going to share in this blog what were my real personal stories.) (Mistress N is laughing again.) Between this and what I had shared in earlier with the teddy bear she got a rich glimpse of what was probably unexpected background.
Reduced mental horsepower aside, it is funny how sometimes associative memory driven thought processes can be quite effective in trance. I blogged three entries Friday and all were basically composed in session. This effect was strong enough that when she gave me something she wanted me to include in the blog I told her it was going to be my second entry, and later I told her it was going to be my third, which it was. The entry "Trance Variants" is built around some words/concepts she wanted to see me blog. I'm pretty sure she wanted me to feel the submission of having to place these concepts in a blog where she was sure they would probably seem odd or out of place, but in trance I already knew how to make them fit and may even have smiled a bit.
She had fun several times, I think, with the catatonic effect of hypnosis. Basically, if you have me fiddle with an object and then take the object away, or if you have my hands reaching out doing something and then remove it from them, my hands and the rest of me tends to stay as it last was, basically catatonic, probably because I do not have the spare awareness to think that they "should" be somewhere else or the initiative to move them if I had thought of so doing.
She bought out an emery board at one point and had me do her fingers. I was slow and cautious, I think, as I am aware that I am uncoordinated in trance. During this time I would be looking at her fingers as she directed me even deeper into total submission and desire to please but several times she would direct me to look into her eyes and experience that hypnotic gaze. I'd easily fixate on them and start feeling that deep bond but invariably this ended up with my eyes closed. I suspect I stopped filing during this time, but I am not sure. She would direct my eyes back open and I'd resume looking at her 5 fingers (I had only enough attention to notice 1 hand at a time) and filing. Later I briefly filed my own nails as she gave me suggestions that the back and forth motions would take me even deeper into submission. I suspect that my timing was quite erratic as these suggestions were hitting.
Several times she had me just sit back, probably while she was eating, but I think she enjoyed not having to do anything, not having to fill each moment, being able to relax herself. I think she articulated this directly, that her trances with me, and these moments in particular, are where she gets a break. My main problem in these moments as figuring out what to do with my head – hanging it forward or back both had issues.
At one point she asked if I had any symbol of submission. My response was to ask to kneel and she let me. I was on both knees, just in front and to the side of her and possibly holding a hand. Mostly my eyes would be closed and I’d be gently swaying, at least internally.
One of the stories she had me tell was one about her, and I basically repeated my impression of her that I have shared in the blog, that of the caring person taking care of many things and many others and not having much time for herself.
There were other moments of eye contact toward the end of the session. My memory is hazy and it is more so further into the session.
She suggested that for 5 minutes during my walk that night I would with each step think a phrase such as "I will submit to Mistress N, I must submit". Later when I did have the walk the suggestion was effective in spurts. I'd do it for a minute then would forget about it, but a few minutes later I would find myself doing it again. At some points on this walk I felt a dual presence of the two Mistresses who had tied suggestions into this activity.
She also associated the color blue with de-stressing and I've since noticed this happening at least twice.
I had to smile when she made a big point of my wanting to email her, that it pleases, her, and that I want to please her. Well, I have been wanting to email her, but I've been trying to be conscious of communication overload. I do not want to ever make her uncomfortable. Wouldn't it seem sappy if I keep telling her that I love submitting to her?
I'm sure that there is some that I missed, but just reading this entry so far it seems like quite a lot happened during this hour, especially when the stories are taken into account.
Waking up as always was an undesired necessity.
I did not feel hypnotized at that time, but writing this I have to reconsider as I seemed to have developed a severe case of selective attention just with Mistress N walking down the hall.
I walked to her office and was placed in one of her two chairs. She has a massage table as well that seems to mostly serve as an impromptu shelf. (Other furnishings: coffee table, some bookcases, carpet.)
I started some minor small talk about how it had gone with her previous client but I was probably not more than 15 seconds into her studio when she waved her hand and snapped and triggered me somehow. My eyes were closed and my muscles starting to relax as she directed me to go deeper, relax, let go, submit, etc. I think it had elements of a confusion induction in it as well as she directed my attention all over the place. She raised and dropped an arm here or there, probably testing muscle tone. There was also a backward count from 100 that had me start by saying the number and "deeper" between numbers and quickly became my losing the numbers and just saying "deeper" in a slow regular rate as she reinforced the deepness and give suggestions between beats.
After awhile, she had me open my eyes and she gave me a stuffed 3 foot teddy bear to use as a puppet. I had the bear wave to her and say a few things I forget. She then had the bear become a small child. I probably shifted the bear and started handling it more like I would a child rather than a puppet. She asked me to describe the child and I used one from a recent experience with a child in need. She then dove a bit into the experience and a new depth of understanding around some things about my background.
She took me up on my special request that they eat in my presence if they are hungry. (It was a noon session.) She had me walk in trance unescorted (she was probably a few feet behind me) to heat her lunch. While waiting for the microwave to finish the amount of time she had told me, she caught up with me and had me sit in a kitchen chair. She had me drink Champaign and tea from an empty cup. On one level I knew it was an empty cup, on another I responded as suggested, envisioning the bubbles in my nose, and swallowing differently depending on the envisioned liquid.
On the way back, she had me sit on the couch in the probably empty reception area and then to lay on it and nap for a bit.
Later in the session she had me get her tea, but only after getting confirmation I knew how to manage the hot water control. I don't think anybody was in the reception area I passed through then either, but I am not sure – that selective attention thing makes it unclear.
She also had me empty her trash – I think there is something about having a hypnotized man doing chores that is a deep satisfaction common to all my Mistresses.
At several times in the session she had me tell her a story. She gave me the option of using a real story or making one up, but I don’t think I could make one up while in trance, I just do not have the mental horsepower to do that sort of what-if planning it takes to compose a story line. I chose to tell real stories from my life. You know, tales of projectile wounds, residual metal shards not implanted by any doctor, wild-west bars, movie productions, bank robberies, tear gassings, fights, automobile .vs. bike, child labor, private investigators, legal conflicts, bill collection, assignations, that sort of stuff. (Well ok, it was not exactly that, but I'm not going to share in this blog what were my real personal stories.) (Mistress N is laughing again.) Between this and what I had shared in earlier with the teddy bear she got a rich glimpse of what was probably unexpected background.
Reduced mental horsepower aside, it is funny how sometimes associative memory driven thought processes can be quite effective in trance. I blogged three entries Friday and all were basically composed in session. This effect was strong enough that when she gave me something she wanted me to include in the blog I told her it was going to be my second entry, and later I told her it was going to be my third, which it was. The entry "Trance Variants" is built around some words/concepts she wanted to see me blog. I'm pretty sure she wanted me to feel the submission of having to place these concepts in a blog where she was sure they would probably seem odd or out of place, but in trance I already knew how to make them fit and may even have smiled a bit.
She had fun several times, I think, with the catatonic effect of hypnosis. Basically, if you have me fiddle with an object and then take the object away, or if you have my hands reaching out doing something and then remove it from them, my hands and the rest of me tends to stay as it last was, basically catatonic, probably because I do not have the spare awareness to think that they "should" be somewhere else or the initiative to move them if I had thought of so doing.
She bought out an emery board at one point and had me do her fingers. I was slow and cautious, I think, as I am aware that I am uncoordinated in trance. During this time I would be looking at her fingers as she directed me even deeper into total submission and desire to please but several times she would direct me to look into her eyes and experience that hypnotic gaze. I'd easily fixate on them and start feeling that deep bond but invariably this ended up with my eyes closed. I suspect I stopped filing during this time, but I am not sure. She would direct my eyes back open and I'd resume looking at her 5 fingers (I had only enough attention to notice 1 hand at a time) and filing. Later I briefly filed my own nails as she gave me suggestions that the back and forth motions would take me even deeper into submission. I suspect that my timing was quite erratic as these suggestions were hitting.
Several times she had me just sit back, probably while she was eating, but I think she enjoyed not having to do anything, not having to fill each moment, being able to relax herself. I think she articulated this directly, that her trances with me, and these moments in particular, are where she gets a break. My main problem in these moments as figuring out what to do with my head – hanging it forward or back both had issues.
At one point she asked if I had any symbol of submission. My response was to ask to kneel and she let me. I was on both knees, just in front and to the side of her and possibly holding a hand. Mostly my eyes would be closed and I’d be gently swaying, at least internally.
One of the stories she had me tell was one about her, and I basically repeated my impression of her that I have shared in the blog, that of the caring person taking care of many things and many others and not having much time for herself.
There were other moments of eye contact toward the end of the session. My memory is hazy and it is more so further into the session.
She suggested that for 5 minutes during my walk that night I would with each step think a phrase such as "I will submit to Mistress N, I must submit". Later when I did have the walk the suggestion was effective in spurts. I'd do it for a minute then would forget about it, but a few minutes later I would find myself doing it again. At some points on this walk I felt a dual presence of the two Mistresses who had tied suggestions into this activity.
She also associated the color blue with de-stressing and I've since noticed this happening at least twice.
I had to smile when she made a big point of my wanting to email her, that it pleases, her, and that I want to please her. Well, I have been wanting to email her, but I've been trying to be conscious of communication overload. I do not want to ever make her uncomfortable. Wouldn't it seem sappy if I keep telling her that I love submitting to her?
I'm sure that there is some that I missed, but just reading this entry so far it seems like quite a lot happened during this hour, especially when the stories are taken into account.
Waking up as always was an undesired necessity.
2 Comments:
You are right again. I am laughing at exactly the area in your post where you say I am laughing.
Do you remember blowing on the not real hot tea?