Why did you leave me?
5/12/2005
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Had a very interesting and unusual session today with Goddess X. It involved hypnotizing Goddess B and being hypnotized by both of them, role-playing, emotional release, proclamations of surrender and of control, and transfer of techniques from Goddess X to Goddess B.
This is going to be hard to describe.
First off, I want to make it clear that both Goddesses gave me explicit permission and encouragement to tell this story. Normally the sort of emotions and details it involves would preclude me from blogging it. I had made some comment to the effect that "I wouldn't be blogging this session!" and they insisted I should.
It started with my entering and going through those three trance trigger doorways on the way to Goddess X's studio. Goddess X was shaking my limps for looseness and seemed to be pleased with noticeable improvements with each doorway. When I got through the studio doorway she said something like "guess who's here? But you probably already knew". However, my eyes were closed and I didn't know if it was going to be Goddess B, that new female hypnotist she is introducing, or maybe even Goddess N. When I sat on the table and could open my eyes I saw it was Goddess B sitting in the client chair.
They played it safe this time they asked me if I had prepared a note. They asked more than once. I wonder why? ;->
While I was still tranced, Goddess X explained the plan for the day. Goddess B had been an important and well-recognized employee with a long history of success with a company she poured her best efforts into. The company changed ownership and the new owners basically pushed out most of the former staff, not by firing, but by making their jobs so unpleasant that they would quit. Goddess B did not realize that she was fighting a battle that could not be won, so the more they criticized her the harder she tried, but of course there was nothing that she could have done that would have been sufficient. By trying so hard and putting so much of herself into this battle that was lost before it started, she lost much of her self-confidence. The plan was that Goddess X would hypnotize Goddess B (which she has been doing since shortly introducing Goddess B to my sessions, but we will talk more of Goddess X's master plan later.) While hypnotized, I would play the part of this mean boss and Goddess B would say what needed to be said.
When given a chance, I asked to not do this while hypnotized. Being mean to Goddess B is not my nature, and certainly not while tranced. Something that difficult takes attention.
Since I was awake, it became a form of a dual induction. Goddess X got it started with an eye contact induction and tested for limb looseness and did not find much. She then had to leave the room for a moment and I continued the induction taking advantage of the garden sounds coming in from the studio's open door and of Goddess B's known affinity for such places. When Goddess X returned we sort of took turns and did some true dual inductions where we would both speak of similar things but with different words and timings. Lots of letting go, letting it go with the birds or winds. Also having her imagine feeling like I feel, being as deep as she sees me go, and drinking from that bottle. We also had her look at herself from my eyes, perceiving herself as I see her. Goddess X and I probably did not synch quite as well as we did when hypnotizing Goddess N but it was still good. Goddess B was definitely under within 5 minutes, not surrendered or out (not that these were our goals), but deep enough to address some intensely emotional areas.
I sat in the chair across from Goddess B, the one that is normally Goddess X's chair, and prepared to play the role of this mean boss. However, before we got to that, Goddess X asked Goddess B if she had anything to say to her former husband.
We were not ready for what came next.
It wasn't fair to lie to me, not telling me that you had problems with your business, that you had somebody else you wanted to be with. If we had talked I could have let you go, but you abandoned [child's name] and me. We did not know where you were, we had those debts, we had to fight. Over the years I wanted her to love you as her father, she needed you. Was I that awful?
That is not a quote, but it gives the feel of what came out and you can imagine the emotional intensity and pain behind these words.
Wow! I was surprised by this, and furious at her former husband whose part I was supposed to play. I did not know this part of her history, and it turns out that Goddess X did not know it either. We could have ended the trance and looked for details, but after several sessions Goddess B was ready for this venting which was an essential step for her, so we improvised. We had about 5 seconds to make that decision and had to do it without speaking.
As her husband, I tried to offer lame excuses (what other kind would there be for a family abandonment?) to give her a place to vent. We blew it in parts such as saying I was young, when her husband turned out to be much older than her, but we corrected as best we could. She talked how she had built a happy home, given of herself, given all she had. How "I" had cheated others in "my" business. Goddess X would point out that "I" did not deserve this sort of devotion, that "I" was not worthy of her efforts, that "I" had the problems, not her. I took the position of a selfish person looking out for themselves, and who just wanted a change, that she was so good I just took all of her efforts for granted.
This is hard to describe, especially working from memory, but we continued along these lines where I tried to give her a person to talk to, so she could vent, while Goddess X would interject value questions such as asking if it were her fault? (Of course it wasn't.) If Goddess X's voice was in Goddess B's head the way it sometimes is in mine we have a powerful demonstration of hypnosis here, because her interjections and questions, if interpreted as if they were Goddess B's own thoughts, were the sorts of questions and viewpoints Goddess B needed to be having as her internal dialog.
After awhile "I" confessed that I had not deserved her, that she was better than that, that she deserved more, that she was ideal, that I was the one that could not cope or see it, etc.
Goddess X then pointed out what happened next, that Goddess B became self sufficient, that she had pulled it together, that she had coped. That she had taken care of it all, and that this showed her values and capabilities.
We then BOTH bowed before her and made it clear to her that she deserved it, that this was her, this WAS her. She started to visibly show that she was receiving this message, but then started to back away from it, so changing to a loud and firm tone I insisted/commanded that she "Feel it!. Don't chase it away, you can't have a barrier here! FEEL IT!" or something like that. Not giving her any chance to form other thoughts, letting that good feeling get back to where it belongs. I seemed to see a visible acceptance of this understanding and acknowledgement of her own worth.
What an intense experience! She came out of trance and visibly released, very visibly affected, emotionally drained, but relieved and bouncy.
We never got to telling off that mean boss.
Now it was time for B to express her Goddessness.
Goddess lessons, anyone?
This is going to be hard to describe.
First off, I want to make it clear that both Goddesses gave me explicit permission and encouragement to tell this story. Normally the sort of emotions and details it involves would preclude me from blogging it. I had made some comment to the effect that "I wouldn't be blogging this session!" and they insisted I should.
It started with my entering and going through those three trance trigger doorways on the way to Goddess X's studio. Goddess X was shaking my limps for looseness and seemed to be pleased with noticeable improvements with each doorway. When I got through the studio doorway she said something like "guess who's here? But you probably already knew". However, my eyes were closed and I didn't know if it was going to be Goddess B, that new female hypnotist she is introducing, or maybe even Goddess N. When I sat on the table and could open my eyes I saw it was Goddess B sitting in the client chair.
They played it safe this time they asked me if I had prepared a note. They asked more than once. I wonder why? ;->
While I was still tranced, Goddess X explained the plan for the day. Goddess B had been an important and well-recognized employee with a long history of success with a company she poured her best efforts into. The company changed ownership and the new owners basically pushed out most of the former staff, not by firing, but by making their jobs so unpleasant that they would quit. Goddess B did not realize that she was fighting a battle that could not be won, so the more they criticized her the harder she tried, but of course there was nothing that she could have done that would have been sufficient. By trying so hard and putting so much of herself into this battle that was lost before it started, she lost much of her self-confidence. The plan was that Goddess X would hypnotize Goddess B (which she has been doing since shortly introducing Goddess B to my sessions, but we will talk more of Goddess X's master plan later.) While hypnotized, I would play the part of this mean boss and Goddess B would say what needed to be said.
When given a chance, I asked to not do this while hypnotized. Being mean to Goddess B is not my nature, and certainly not while tranced. Something that difficult takes attention.
Since I was awake, it became a form of a dual induction. Goddess X got it started with an eye contact induction and tested for limb looseness and did not find much. She then had to leave the room for a moment and I continued the induction taking advantage of the garden sounds coming in from the studio's open door and of Goddess B's known affinity for such places. When Goddess X returned we sort of took turns and did some true dual inductions where we would both speak of similar things but with different words and timings. Lots of letting go, letting it go with the birds or winds. Also having her imagine feeling like I feel, being as deep as she sees me go, and drinking from that bottle. We also had her look at herself from my eyes, perceiving herself as I see her. Goddess X and I probably did not synch quite as well as we did when hypnotizing Goddess N but it was still good. Goddess B was definitely under within 5 minutes, not surrendered or out (not that these were our goals), but deep enough to address some intensely emotional areas.
I sat in the chair across from Goddess B, the one that is normally Goddess X's chair, and prepared to play the role of this mean boss. However, before we got to that, Goddess X asked Goddess B if she had anything to say to her former husband.
We were not ready for what came next.
It wasn't fair to lie to me, not telling me that you had problems with your business, that you had somebody else you wanted to be with. If we had talked I could have let you go, but you abandoned [child's name] and me. We did not know where you were, we had those debts, we had to fight. Over the years I wanted her to love you as her father, she needed you. Was I that awful?
That is not a quote, but it gives the feel of what came out and you can imagine the emotional intensity and pain behind these words.
Wow! I was surprised by this, and furious at her former husband whose part I was supposed to play. I did not know this part of her history, and it turns out that Goddess X did not know it either. We could have ended the trance and looked for details, but after several sessions Goddess B was ready for this venting which was an essential step for her, so we improvised. We had about 5 seconds to make that decision and had to do it without speaking.
As her husband, I tried to offer lame excuses (what other kind would there be for a family abandonment?) to give her a place to vent. We blew it in parts such as saying I was young, when her husband turned out to be much older than her, but we corrected as best we could. She talked how she had built a happy home, given of herself, given all she had. How "I" had cheated others in "my" business. Goddess X would point out that "I" did not deserve this sort of devotion, that "I" was not worthy of her efforts, that "I" had the problems, not her. I took the position of a selfish person looking out for themselves, and who just wanted a change, that she was so good I just took all of her efforts for granted.
This is hard to describe, especially working from memory, but we continued along these lines where I tried to give her a person to talk to, so she could vent, while Goddess X would interject value questions such as asking if it were her fault? (Of course it wasn't.) If Goddess X's voice was in Goddess B's head the way it sometimes is in mine we have a powerful demonstration of hypnosis here, because her interjections and questions, if interpreted as if they were Goddess B's own thoughts, were the sorts of questions and viewpoints Goddess B needed to be having as her internal dialog.
After awhile "I" confessed that I had not deserved her, that she was better than that, that she deserved more, that she was ideal, that I was the one that could not cope or see it, etc.
Goddess X then pointed out what happened next, that Goddess B became self sufficient, that she had pulled it together, that she had coped. That she had taken care of it all, and that this showed her values and capabilities.
We then BOTH bowed before her and made it clear to her that she deserved it, that this was her, this WAS her. She started to visibly show that she was receiving this message, but then started to back away from it, so changing to a loud and firm tone I insisted/commanded that she "Feel it!. Don't chase it away, you can't have a barrier here! FEEL IT!" or something like that. Not giving her any chance to form other thoughts, letting that good feeling get back to where it belongs. I seemed to see a visible acceptance of this understanding and acknowledgement of her own worth.
What an intense experience! She came out of trance and visibly released, very visibly affected, emotionally drained, but relieved and bouncy.
We never got to telling off that mean boss.
Now it was time for B to express her Goddessness.
Goddess lessons, anyone?
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