Tips for Success with Conventional Hypnotherapists

In some Yahoo groups there have been discussions about what it takes to be successful at getting a conventional therapist to take on a role of establishing full hypnotic control. This blog tells one success story (multiple successes, actually) but the blog takes some time to read. For what it's worth, I thought I'd make my best how-to manual.

I consider one of the most interesting things in this blog to be the progression from an ordinary therapeutic relationship to acknowledgment of hypnosis as a beneficial goal in its own right and then to the Mistress/Goddess full hypnodomination (without meanness, pain, sex, or BDSM). Success with Orthodox Hypnotists contains a timeline of what it took, and I do think getting a conventional therapist involved in this is a challenge for anybody and probably even for me if I ever had to try it again from scratch.

I must be clear that by "Success" I mean that the therapist knowingly and willingly particupates in regularly getting you deeply hypnotized and surrendered. I do not mean that she plays any erotic part or that she tolorates sexual behavior on your part. I do not mean that she enters into any relationship with you outside of sessions. Bear in mind that what you are seeking is theraputic and does not ask for the therapist to violate any APA ethical guidelines, not even sections 3.05 or 10.05.

General tip:

• Be patient and be prepared to pay for the many sessions that will probably be be needed. Most therapists are in a deep rut regarding the usages and benifits of hypnosis and it will take a while for them to recognize their blinders. Let it happen at their timeline.
  

Broaching the subject:

• Do not press for an answer in the same interaction in which you raise the issue. (Maybe raise it over many interactions.) The default answer will typically be to not do anything different than they have done before. Give them time to think. It is best to raise the issue in person and after you have proven that you are nice and safe. (See the comment on patience and a many sessions.) Follow up days later, or see if she cancels a scheduled second appointment. By having already scheduled a second appointment you have a small edge as it is hard to turn away a paying client.
  
• You must articulate well what you want, or they will read into it unacceptable things. Make it clear to them that what you are asking for does not involve sex or messy stuff. They need to understand that you are not asking will not compromise them. Use this blog or any other resources if they apply.
  
• Therapists like to know that they are helping, but it will be some time before they can see that getting you surrendered is helping, so let them work on other things as well. This also makes the sessions be more normal for them and gives you some value for your money.
• Suggest an agenda. Her first thoughts will probably be along the lines of "this is different, is he a pervert, am I safe, is this BDSM, how did I draw this freak to me, why does he think I am that sort of girl, I don't do that'. After she accepts that you are not after the things that she would find unacceptable, her next thought will probably be along the lines of "I must say 'no' because I wouldn't know what to do". Bypass this by suggesting an agenda such as the following:
  
  
  
  • Get you as deep as possible
  
  
  • Get you as fully under her control as she can/is comfortable with
  
  
  • Try a challenge test or 2
  
  
  • [Some therapeutic thing such as reminding you that cigs taste awful]
  
  
  • Implant a compulsive reinduction trigger
  
  
  • Test the trigger (if time permits)
  Given an agenda like that she is more likely to think "well, that is not so bad, I can do *that*, and it does not involve anything weird". The part about the cigs is to appease her therapist side.

An example letter may be found in Alternative Plea, but I recommend making your case in person.

Nurturing the Interest:

• Get it clear in your mind, if you freak them out it is over, and the request itself could push them close to their freak line. Even after many sessions and when they are starting to get into it, the freak out factor is still very near the surface. Remember that they may often be on the verge of terminating the relationship and that this can be from something you did but it can also often be from their own internal discovery and struggles accepting their dominating side.
• Never interact sexually and most certainly never insist that they interact sexually. Keep it in your pants and keep it down.
  
• They will probably oscillate a bit, getting into it and backing off. Let this happen.
• In their oscillations they may go too far or include things that are not your favorites. This is to be expected and must be allowed as they need to explore what the hypnotic control means and does not mean to them.
• Do not initiate physical contact with them, not even a thank you hug, because physical contact is close to what may worry them the most and you are inviting a misunderstanding.
  
• Let them see that this is a harmless fetish
• Let them see how much this is helping you. This is the second most important thing, the only thing more important is not freaking them out. Show them the stress relief, the general contentment level, the getting the monkey off of your back, etc.
  
• Let them see that you are a nice guy.
• Do what you can to build their self-esteem. Make it clear that they are empowered. As Mistress X says, "Knowing that anytime I want, whether by email, phone, or in person, I can zap him, and he will let go, and let me tell him what to do makes me feel very powerful. How lucky am I!"
• Let them know that with you, they are guaranteed to be successful.
• Let them know that you are a test subject for them, that with you they can expand their hypnotic repertoire. Remember that you picked somebody who is into learning (See below).
  
• Let them know that they can and should have fun.
• Let them be bossy. As Mistress X says, "How often in our everyday lives do we get to tell somebody what to do, and they do it without question?"
• Let them know that you will be a regular client.
• Establish that this is a time when they too can walk away from the complexities of their regular life. When the demands on her life seem endless, she can reflect that there is one place where things happen the way she wants them to, where she is the boss, where she is in control and where everybody is delighted with it. And she gets paid!
  
• Communicate with them that you liked the sessions and what it is about them you liked.
• Do not over communicate. Do not flood them with multiple communications or attempt to build a relationship outside of the hypnosis. My rule at first was 1 email between sessions, phone contact only when absolutely necessary for session logistics, and in such calls I would discuss only session logistics unless she initiated other subjects. Latching on practically mandates rejection.
  

Choosing the Hypnotist:
Each attempt is costly and may involve a painful rejection, so do all the checking you can first. Here is what I would look for:

• Experienced -- you do not want somebody fresh out of their weekend hypnosis school. Longetivity means more skilled, less dogmatic, and more likely to still be there next month.
  
• Flexible -- if they seem to have one style for every problem, then they probably only know one style. It is not the style you want, so don't bother. Similarly, look for ones that treat more than one sort of problem, but be wary of those who claim they can work on anything.
  
• Multi-Modal -- this is another indication of flexibility. Those that learn multiple treatment methods are used to picking and choosing from the best of each. Look for some form of touch therapy as well. (It indicates that they are not carrying around some trauma connected with closeness or sexuality. Don't ask them to touch you! You just want somebody who is not living in constant paranoia.)
  
• Author -- writing indicates a willingness to analyze and expand from what they already know
• Describes herself well -- Her web site should have enough content that you get a feel for what sort of person she is.
  
• Non dogmatic and honest -- If you see things like that AHISH declaration (all hypnosis is self hypnosis) then consider if you are dealing with somebody who is poorly trained and unquestioning of their training, or who whose ethics is such that they are ok with giving just part of the story if it helps them.
• Healed -- avoid the walking wounded. Many therapists were wounded, many have healed, many haven't. Working with you can heal them in some cases, but in other cases you'll suffer due to their issues.
• Stable -- experienced and healed are some indicators of stability.
• Know why they are in the business.
• Articulate -- this indicates a thinker, and thinkers are more prone to be flexible
• Constant Learner
• Assertive -- they need to have a pattern of going their own way and to like doing so. You are asking them to go into unexplored territory and you need an adventurer. Also, assertive on conversation can imply willingness to be assertive in trance.
  
• Kind
• Controlling -- Some hint, any at all, that they may have a controlling side. If you see a reference to Goddess, check for wiccans and earth mothers. This does not mean that they don't qualify, it just means that the term is not an indicator of a controlling side.
  
• Minimal Pseudo Science -- avoid those who are also into bogus activities or the fad of the week.
  

Useful Posts:

• What does the hypnotist get?
• Fun for Hypnotherapists!
• A Love Letter to our SS
• The Perfect Mysterious Male Subject
• How To Be Successful With a Conventional Hypnotist
• Nearly Successful with Orthodox Hypnotist
• Success with Orthodox Hypnotists
• What I am not
• The Dark Side of Dominance, BDSM or other
• BDSM? No thanks

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