Pendulumized Singing Dream Massage

This is a log of a session with Goddess X.

I tranced at her door, but we had some other business to discuss so she halted this so she could have my normal attention.

When it was time to be hypnotized and as she turned off her phone ringer it rang at decreasing volumes and I took this decrease as a sign of a start of relaxation. It’s odd, as she has never discussed this but I seem to have made some association between this frequent start of session activity and starting to go.

I started in the table with her at my head and she started with a pendulum – sort of like the picture in this blog (which is not us, by the way, I'd never put a real picture in here). The pendulum swinging is not back and forth; it is more circular and random. I faded away as commanded. I think she also used forehead touches.

She used the pendulum again and I followed it more mechanically, following it through each arc rather than letting it swing in my general field of view. My thoughts were probably mechanical as well. When it moved away my eyes closed and I fell deeper into surrender– this was repeated a few times and during these times were suggestions that I was hers, that I was surrendered, that I was content to be hers, that I was hers no matter what. Basically reestablishing and deepening our relative roles, which was and is just fine with me.

She did the eye test thing, describing and suggesting that I cannot open my eyes but I should try. I did not open them enough to see anything, but I think she suspected I was not being affected to the degree she wanted as she came back much more firmly. I had some internal distress because I was wanting to comply, subjectively seemed to be complying, and she was not happy. I suspect it was just a matter of her perspective because on the retest she had moved and seemed satisfied. However, I had a taste of her reaction if I had been resisting – she can be quite compelling when she wants to be!

There were probably more suggestions about wanting to please her, about her being a goddess, about wanting to comply with her suggestions, and she would take care of me while I was in that state.

She had me stand up, arms outstretched forward, then up, then limp, etc.

She them became the second person this week to demonstrate that I cannot sing while in trance as I found myself on my knees before her in her chair trying to sing to my goddess mistress. I just cannot seem to be able to muster the mental horsepower to compose on the fly. I basically “sang” in a near monotone of her being my Goddess Mistress, of my being happy with that, of wanting to serve. I had enough self awareness to realize that this was one of "those" sorts of silly hypnotic things, but that realization did not stop me. I meant what I was saying.

Found myself back on the bed. I don't remember what I did there.

Moved to a chair, she did another of those envisioning something on my hand held in front of my face. I got at best general impressions of images. I think she might be working on getting me to be a better dreamer, maybe in conjunction with Goddess B.

She had me envision a massage session with Goddess B, running through it a few times on an accelerated timetable. It is not nearly the same as being with Goddess B but something was happening – my muscles were twitching and responding involuntarily. This surprises me as I am on the very low end of the hypnotic scale with regard to dream involvement. Dreams just are not that real to me, but those muscles were doing something anyway.

Well, I came in agitated, but still went under and responded to everything she told me with levels both conscious and otherwise, and left with the agitation gone and some nice times to blog.

She is the most surprising Goddess/Mistress. I have no idea what is in store for me next, but it has all been good. Someday I'’ll ask her how much she is surprising herself.

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Butterfly Push-ups

This is a log of this Monday’s session with Goddess B.

Our sessions are more routine than those with the other mistresses because of the rhythms imposed by the massage. (Face down, back, arms, neck, then to legs, turn over, arms and face, legs). During these passive times she will either establish and deepen the trance, give various self-improvement suggestions such as taking care of myself, impose a dream, or prepare for an active period. The active periods are typically preceded by the words “In a moment I will give you a command and ... . There are three common flavors of activities

• Awake but carrying out the command (awake)
• Under and focused only on the command (funtime)
• Under and waiting for the command (sleepwalking)

Typically by the time I'm on my back an she is working on my legs (probably 45+ minutes into the hour) I'’ve crossed the passive barrier and become somewhat chatty, even while remaining under. I can initiate threads, but I'm probably not very coherent and am probably running at half or less of my normal IQ.

What differs most from session to session is the tone of the deepening suggestions, what she has me do in the active times, and what I recall of it afterwards.

I definitely recall more if I takes notes that same afternoon, even just single words, as these are the crystals by onto which other memories can attach. Without these I might completely forget to remember entire sequences. There also may be times when I'm not just under but I am “out” – not making memories that survive to the waking up.

This time she took a sleep focus, probably because I mentioned in my blog that she had not done much with sleep the last time. She continually encouraged me to fall into sleep. I did not fall fully asleep much but I did become less alert to tracking her words, not paying as much conscious attention. There were some moments where I woul’d come back from a mini-dream. The introduction of TIVO into my household has had a side effect of letting me time dreams and there have been times where I fall asleep, have a mini-dream, wake up, and only have to go back 1 8-second click to get to where I fell asleep, so I know I can do very quick mini dreams. I do not know if what I had in this session were as quick, but they were in the same family.

She also spent more effort implanting a sense of total control. It worked. Someday she might get brave and use more of this control. That will be interesting and fun.

Activities

• A sleepwalking counting backward from 100 to 73 – I think I’m the most zombified (unthinkingly compliant) during sleepwalking.
• Some singing – I’m not a good singer when awake, and when tranced I can’t do it at all, I’m probably nearly monotone and have poor timing. I also don’t have the mental capacity when tranced to compose as I go. (Goddess X discovered this independently today.)
• Awake to talk about the weather – she probably had something she wanted to observe, but I’m not sure what it was. Maybe it is just the fun of watching me fall back under when retriggered.
• Doing push-ups -- I think I did them properly
  
• Saying nice things to one of her butterflies

She tried to have me image a nice place of my own choosing, a beach in this case, but it was not very real to me. I seem to do better when I’m receiving a stream of descriptions.

As described in “Shocking the Goddess”, we spent time after the session letting her see how popular this blog is.

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Mistress N's comfort

Just had a nighttime unannounced trancing from Mistress N, my Mistress of Relaxation. She called within by general safe-to-call window and quickly started in. I do respond to her very quickly when she makes that voice change. After a few seconds my head was both heavy and light, and I had nothing happening except what was happening with her. Some staircase counting down and I got into that chain of consciousness rambling I sometimes do. She, of course, is directing the chain of consciousness so the rambling is generally echoing my perception of what I heard.

There were quite a few directives to deepen, and to submit more fully to her and all had an impact.

It is funny. I've met her in person just once and while we could chat and get to know each other a bit more there was no opportunity for hypnotic interaction. Nothing about her outward appearance and demeanor announces that she would like to sometimes be in control, in complete control actually. You might look at her and think "I wish" but you would not think "“she might". While I did not try it I expect that there is a good chance she might have blushed if I had leaned over and whispered "You are my Mistress of Relaxation, I will submit to you or your voice instantly and absolutely”." The blush is just a possibility, but she certainly would have felt a rush. I wish I had done such a whisper.

There is simplicity in deep surrender that is hard to describe because it is so profoundly simple. There are so many things I'm not doing, things that I otherwise am always doing. I feel free and uninhibited, and I either do not care what is happening or I actively want to please my Mistress. Mistress N, as our relationship currently stands, is the perfect Mistress for this. She seems to genuinely love to have me deep, to have that control, and while she loves having that influence she is very careful in how she uses it. (I sometimes get the feeling that there is something more she almost does, but then holds back on. Mistress N, please know that the Promise of Forgiveness applies to you as well.)

What she does do is leave me with little hypno-toys. Limited duration but intense hypnotic behaviors that I can play with after the session. (I'm buzzing as I write this – that is probably one of the hypno-toys.) Tonight I will be wrapped in feelings of comfort and love as I wrap the blanket around me before falling nirvanically into a wonderful sleep, and I will get another rush of acknowledgement of her power when touching that blanket when getting up in the morning.

The simple formula: I let go, I surrender and submit, I place myself totally and unquestioningly into her control, she directs me, we both have fun, we both achieve some balance, she gives me some residual benefits or toys, and brings me back relieved and improved.

I do want to submit to her, and I want her to have the power to make me submit. I get an ongoing rush knowing that she might call, and sometimes, like tonight, she does. I want to be in her sweet control, I want to please her, I want to obey her, and I want to ease her way by letting her express this side of herself with me.

I like the idea that there is somebody out there (several of them now) that can send me away. That there are such people makes my being sent away an actual ongoing possibility and brings the benifits of surrender more into daily life.

Mistress N and I have a playful relationship. We deliberately avoid fixed time appointments and let it be semi-spontaneous. This probably would not work for very many people and it only works because I have predictable and stable time windows, which is not a common situation for me. We are probably going somewhere with the submissions, but I don't think either of us knows where. It is pretty cool as it is, so it does not have to go anywhere, but it probably will. Finding out where will be fascinating.

3 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

How did you sleep last night, my most submissive one?
Yes, you are right. I probably would have blushed the other day.
Wouldn't you have been surprised if I had said "Submit to me, NOW!".
Who knows, one day I may surprise you when you don't expect me to be somewhere.

4/27/2005 7:38 PM  

 Deep Trancer said...

I slept deeply and without disturbance. It is hard to tell if it was wonderful or not because I do not remember much of it. It was fun remembering you when I touched the blanket to arise.

I might have been surprized, after I woke up. Your voice and your interest in having me submit is all that is needed in a suitable environment.

4/27/2005 10:33 PM  

 Deep Trancer said...

Well Mistress N, it looks like you will need to try again if you want to surprize me in person. It still was fun! (This entry was made after the "Giving Notice" entry).

5/06/2005 10:06 PM  

Tele-comfort

Had a nice mid-afternoon tele-treat from Goddess Mistress X. She just lead me gently but quickly though letting go and relaxing into surrendering to her and becoming, for the moment, all hers. It is a very sweet and peaceful feeling. She and I have the longest and most complex relationship and the deepest bond and it is nice to sometimes just soak in and deepen that bond.

She had me open my eyes, place a hand in front of my face and look at my palm. She then had me produce an image on it, leaving it up to me to chose what. I produced a vague goddess surrounded in brightly light fog. (This was probably symbolic of my perception of the generalized image of these light workers.) I did not see it distinctly, but there was some image effect. Goddess X then had me move this image to my chest and enter me as a residual dose of comfort and love. As I write this I can still feel something there.

I love Goddess X (no, not that way, we are still within our boundaries), and I love what she does with me.

Thank you, my Goddess Mistress X.

(Note: I probably would have written more, but I got tele-tranced by Mistress N and somehow I ended up writing about her. ;-> )

1 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

Mistress X is gifted in having people feel loved and nurtured. She helps them to awaken to their inner love.

4/27/2005 10:50 AM  

Shocking the Goddess

At the end of my session with Goddess B I sat down with her and showed her the activity the statcounters show this blog has gathered. It was a bit of a "shock and awe" moment, the bashful one had not realized how popular this blog was. It is certainly not big in the way that Yahoo is big, but it is big with respect to how normally secretive we are. The blog has been available for just 1 month and for some of that it was off line, but it has a huge ratio of repeating visitors. It seems that it is not just the Mistresses that are hooked.

The Mistresses would love to get more comments in this blog (me too). If you see something interesting, please say so. Share your own experiences if you wish, or just state what your reaction might have been. Your comments might even inspire a Mistress and turn into something that happens in a session -- just imagine commenting about something and later reading how it actually played out. That's weird.

Who knows? With encouragement, maybe another Mistress will go public.

2 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

Not just Mistresses. Some of us are subs too. In my case, a live-in RT hypnosub to a new age hypnotherapist. Your (and your hypnotists') focus on "light" and wellness is wonderful and deeply inspiring.

That said though, not all BDSM is scary or unhealthy. It's certaibnly not all about being put down.

4/26/2005 9:21 PM  

 Deep Trancer said...

I agree with you on BDSM. It is not BDSM I protest, it is the dark stuff. The sex, bondage, pain, and even the humiliation might have a role for some (just not me), to me the "dark side" is when somebody leaves the business of serving others and starts serving themselves. (See " The Dark Side of Dominance, BDSM or other"). Of course it is just a matter of degree.

I'd love to see more beneficial relationships become public, most just cannot imagine that there can be mutually beneficial and healthy relationships here and we need more public examples.

As a live-in real time hypnosub your story would be very different than mine, and probably fascinating. Please consider sharing some of it here, in a discussion group, or in your own blog.

4/26/2005 10:37 PM  

Mistress Interactions

It is interesting to me how the mistresses and goddesses do read this blog and how they learn from each other. (They are also in frequent verbal communication for any number of reasons).

I naturally spend more time describing session highlights and I think some of these descriptions spur a "hey, I can do that" or sometimes even a "hey, I can do better than that!" reaction from them at times. I have to be careful or what I write about from one session might be taken as a wish list for a different session.

The reality is that they are all going in slightly different but complimentary directions. Goddess B is pure and simple playtime. I go, I get massaged, I enter another mental world, she has fun with me, I have fun doing it, and I return rejuvenated in mind and body. Mistress N is submission with gifts – I just turn myself over to her completely, we both enjoy the interaction, and I come back with interesting hypnotic gifts. (I’d submit to her even without the gifts). I have the most "threads" going with Goddess Mistress X and when we use hypnosis to address anything complicated or more typically therapeutic it is with her. It is by no means only therapeutic, we certainly have fun, and we both are certainly learning. She is the most surprising one in the sense that when I walk into her studio I have the least ability to anticipate what will happen this time. Remember also that Goddess Mistress X and I started with a conventional therapeutic relationship so it is natural that such things with me are associated with her

These comments just reflect the current moment in time. Mistress N could, for example, address the same sort of issues Goddess Mistress X does, but for logistical reasons we do not get the same sort of time together. (And Goddess Mistress X got a considerable head start.) Similarly, Goddess Mistress X could do what Mistress N does. What they are doing with me at any one moment is not a statement of the limits of their skills, it is a statement of what we find mutually interesting.

But they do read of what is going on and talk about it, so what one finds interesting might become interesting to another. (It’s funny, each of them has asked in the last 2 days in one form or another where was the blog entry about something relating to them, the mistresses are hooked.) One thing they all consistently do is adjust. My needs do get meet. (Theirs too.) This makes the multi-Mistress interactions very interesting not only from watching how they inspire each other but in that they are adjusting not based just on their interactions with me but partially also from the interactions of the others with me. I have multiple interactions going, and the interactions are interlinked. None of us knows where this is going, and that’s fun.

===============

By the way, notice how I talked about my needs being meet. I am dealing with light Mistresses, ones whose main goal is to provide help and assistance and not to service their needs at the expense of mine. I see various reports of people stating how they know that their role with their Mistress is to serve her needs, that their needs are irrelevant. To me, this is dark and sick. If any of you readers are dealing with anybody with whom it would be inappropriate to discuss "your needs", then please get out of there NOW. You can do better, much better.

1 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

Yes, my submissive one. We are light workers first. Your needs are very important to us.

4/26/2005 9:32 PM  

Surrendering to Love and Comfort

This session with Goddess Mistress X was quite different. Basically, she put me under deeply under, got me into a surrendered and a fairly passive state, and gave me a period of unconditional love, caring and acceptance. This is basically from a theory that I missed out of nurturing while growing up, that I missed out on being taken care of, and that this may be behind what I seek in surrender.

She may be right. I was not mistreated, but I did have to take care of many things other children did not. Mine is by no means the worst story, many children have much worse, but it was not ideal. I was saving and budgeting earnings and allowance and shopping unattended for clothes by age 8, including travel to the cheap places downtown, always working, and always independent. I had roof and food, but not much in the way of emotional comfort. My spouse found me fiercely independent – I did not even like being waited on in restaurants when I left collage. I’ve never taken a loan except for my residence, and I’ve never not paid each credit card in full each month. I am generious in helping others, but I do not let myself get into a position of needing help and do not accept help easily. Maybe the surrender is a return to a simpler time I did not have much of.

Maybe. I doubt that it is as simple as that, but maybe. I also would not assert that should this be true to some degree for me that it would be true for others. (Blog readers, I’d love to know if it applies to you and how.)

Even if it were so, it is not clear if the gap can be filled, or if it is insatiable. It is also not clear if I’d want to let go of this fetish, it is an old friend, and what might take its place?

Event log:
My going through the doors were a surrender
Sat in her session chair, taken deeper into surrender
Opened eyes, saw face of goddess mistress, face of person I trust, who can guide me
Spent a fair amount of time with my eyes opened
She pulled out a magic wand that when it touched me relax, comforted

Eventually moved to table and the projection and touches of love and comfort continued.
The odd part about it is that I was in a fully surrendered state, I was in her control, “gone, gone, gone," and then some. So what is her nefarious plan once I’m there? It is to give feelings of me love and comfort. That, my readers, is a light mistress! Probably too light for many, but remember that she and I have been working together for what seems like ages and we do explore some edges of the interaction, and these edges include the light and therapeutic side as well as more assertive sides.

At some point I hit a saturation point, where I needed to do something else. I think I verbalized this as being ready for zombification – that mindless non-emotional mechanically obedient state I’ve been in before. This would have been the counter-balance to what I was getting and would have let the saturation feeling disperse.

So am I saying I was saturated with love and comfort? Probably not, but I had been in one hypnotic mode too long and change brings freshness.

To handle the saturation thing she did some basic arm and leg movement commands, and we both got a good laugh at just how limp and falling the limbs were on command, instant change to no muscle tone whatsoever. I don’t know how to make myself that limp, but she does.

We then went back to more comfort transfer.

Some discussion of upcoming family events.

============================

So what is the effect of all of this, of this session and all of this hypnotic surrender and domination involvement?

I do know one thing. I’ve been getting an unbelievably HEAPING helping of hypno fun for the last three weeks, multiple mistresses and somebody doing something just about every day, and I had what would be for many a envious amount – every week, then sometimes twice a week, and then more.

So what happens when you get all of the hypnofun you can stand? (Can you imaging having all the hyponofun you can stand? I never could have but not I do not have to imagine it.) I still enjoy the time under, I really enjoy the time, but I am not subject to that dieing of thirst desperation that can lead to making bad choices and messing things up.

I am definitely getting helped. Besides the relief from this monkey on my back, I am getting reports of looking younger and happier.

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Post Sleepwalking Pre Notes

(These are notes to Goddess B before the first session after the sleepwaking one.)

I have a sense that you are on the verge of wanting to do more, of having more playful things to do, things that might build your confidence or restore your ego, but that you are afraid to try them, afraid that I might not like or accept them. You have built up a huge reservoir of good will in me, of brownie points, of acceptance paid for in advance. Know that you can use it. I do trust you, I have no fears of being harmed by any of my interactions with you, I have no concerns whatsoever. In many ways I trust zoning out with you more than even Goddess X because you are not likely to get into complicated therapeutic areas that need to be approached cautiously. If you ask, I will willingly and gladly surrender completely to you, I will do anything you ask, and I'll not fret about having done it. I'll probably have a blast doing it. I encourage you to use my trance in ways that are fun and confidence building for you. Know that you are not harming or short-changing me in the least by so doing.

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Sleepwaking, I think

(This is a log of last week's session with Goddess B)

Hit me with a trigger (not sure which) in mid conversation. Went from talking to responding in seconds. Undressed and went under the sheet.

This log is being made nearly a week later. I had made a few quick notes after the session, but I’ve lost these. As a result, the log is of impressions rather than sequence of events. The session followed our usual pattern of me being passive on the table while being massage and taken deeper alternating with me being active following her commands.

Some dreaming of a woodsy scene and keeping me there. She is getting more effective at getting me dreaming than has anybody else. I found the extended woods stay actually a bit of a problem at first as I’d come from the woods back to her room doing something, and then she’d want me back in the woods. After a while I seemed to adjust to these shifts.

She did not emphasize sleep much this time. She did emphasize being totally under her control, but not her being a goddess (until late in the session).

She did give me a “sleepwalker” trigger where I sit up arms extended and wait for further instructions. I think she used it twice but … I do not remember what I did. I think I did remember once, I sort of remember remembering, but it is lost to me now. I do remember feeling profoundly in her control when my arms were out stretched out there.

I wound that globe. I remember she wanted me to do something when I did it and I remember that I did not understand what it was – I think I just did not hear the words and she did not repeat them. I’m not sure what I did while the music played.

She had me wake up but not look up – I think that if I did awake that I went right back under. She had me talk of my goals and I probably started rambling about wanting to be taken fully under.

At some point she eased into goddess stuff. I don’t think she did much with it except wanting some ego boasting. I remember feeling like I was in the wrong sort of trance to be giving her what she wanted, that I was not able to be articulate in the way she needed. Also, her goddess nature with me is still being established, she needs to help me define it as it relates to her. How does she want me to perceive her? If I knew I probably would.

Toward the end I tried to express that she had permission for “private time”, a time where she could just play and have me do what she wanted and which even I would not remember. I think such time could do wonders for her ego and confidence, and I do trust her, I do not fear that I’ll be harmed during this time, and I’m willing to let go of some memories in trade for the bliss I’ll get and for the pleasure of helping her.

0 Comments:

Happy in Submission

Very late last night Mistress N and I discovered that we were both up and active. She was worried that I might not be callable on Friday nights – not a problem. For some reason I was really wanting a call from her yesterday even thought I’d had a very pleasant in person session with Goddess Mistress X that day. With minimal arrangement she told me to “get ready”

I saved all I was working on and got the headset ready and had a minute or two of pleasant anticipation before she called.

I tried to do some small talk but she wasn’t in the mood for that. Her voice changed, and so did I, it hit me like something physical. I’m not sure what she said but before I was totally gone I remember sort of doing a self check and found that my head was hanging limply, my hands and arms were out of the picture, and I was thinking that she had just started. I’m guessing this was less than 30 seconds into it. After that I did not self-analyze much.

My eyes opened and closed a few times at her command, and I was mumbling/echoing/chattering most of the time, but I do not remember much of the specifics of what I said. I’m pretty sure that her suggestions and my echos were along the lines of submitting to her completely and maybe also along the lines of needing/wanting/desiring to please her. I do remember that at some point she said she was pleased and this gave me a “warm and fuzzy”. I think that as I got really deep at one point my voice may have changed to one that was more conversational and less “sleepy”. This has been observed by some of the in-person hypnotists that I can sometimes become more chatty and conversational while still being quite deep. I’m not sure what triggers or enables this, but some of it may have happened last night.

I think she mentioned the manicure – but I don’t think I have any new compulsions there.

Mistress N always leaves me gifts, and I never know what to expect. This time it was to submit to her again as I went to bed (and I have an image of her going to bed happy/content/smirking knowing that somewhere out there I was submitting to her right then.) and that when I woke up I’d have some minutes of deep awareness of my submission and a resulting happiness that would carry me throughout the day.

When I woke up from trance she was already off the phone. I lingered in that pleasant post-hypnotic daze longer than usual before finishing my business and heading to bed. As I left my office area I wondered if I had paid attention to her instructions, or if I was just blessed out. When it was time I found my self saying “I submit to Mistress N” twice and that cycle of half trance half sleep started again. I no longer analyzed it and just enjoyed it.

When I woke up I did take about 5 minutes of just pleasant contemplation of how nice it was to have her call, how nice it was to bliss out into nirvanic submission and how I’m enjoying the purity and simplicity of our hypnotic interactions – I hear that voice, I slip under and submit, I do or absorb whatever she says, and I wake up with some gifts. Pretty cool, huh?

I did have a pretty fun and happy day and so did my family. It helps that tax crunch is over and this was set to be a more fun weekend anyway, but maybe the hypnotic gift had something to do with it – at the minimum it put the workweek behind me.

Thank you again, Mistress N, my mistress of automatic and instant relaxation. Call anytime.

0 Comments:

Light FemDom Hypnotic Videos

My Deep Trancer persona has participated in discussions in just one Yahoo group, fdhypnovideo. Why them?

First off, the group is well moderated and on-topic. By this I mean that there are not junk or spam postings, and all that is there is related to female hypnotic domination. There are some posts whining about the limits of Yahoo and many stating that one or another of the hypno ladies has pretty legs, good eyes, etc but also in there are some real discussions of this fetish such as ones on its impact on our lives, is it always erotic, a story about a domination gone bad, are we stuck with this fetish, etc.

Secondly, the group is not dark – and that is something extremely rare. I do not see in here any BDSM, humiliation, or building of the mistresses egos at the cost of others.

Third, the group is into this fetish. I don't think that this sort of discussion would really play out well in the major hypnosis Yahoo groups, the domination Yahoo groups are just too dark for me, and most sexual groups are not well focussed and, frankly, are just not interesting with respect to this fetish.

The group is associated with http://www.femdomhypnotist.com. This page and the Yahoo’s group home page have some talk of hypnofems taking over the world, but I see this as puffery – the exaggerations allowed in sales and marketing. I think they are just trying to appeal to what they think their audience wants, within limits. It is those limits that speak the most as by their actions the group demonstrates that they understand that hypnosis should be separate from BDSM and they exclude dark stuff, sexuality explicit/nude material, and highly edited computer graphics. (Also, they have confirmed this in a private email to me.)

So what happens when they get you under their control? Well, after playing around a bit they encourage you to be productive, adopt healthy habits, and generally take care of yourself. It is a bit against their marketing spin, but I’m convinced that behind this group is one or more people like my mistresses, “light” workers striving to help others (with some profit) willing to play into a harmless fetish as long as it stays harmless, and who see that we need safe alternatives to the typically mean and harmful hypno domination offerings.

At any prior time I would have been mesmerized by this group, but as I’m currently in the once-in-my-lifetime situation of having not just a Mistress, but many of them, I’ve only watched their free samples. I was surprised to find any 20-second clip to be effective -- but it was, and this is a serious compliment. I started to develop a definite buzz -- which is very surprising for its length. Going back and reviewing the video and her performance more critically it was still quite good. She manages to keep good eye contact, and her smile just at the end is a real tease -- I hope that was intentional. She gives an impression of somebody who expects it to work, is still surprised that it works, and is delighted that it is working. No distracting mannerisms. I do not know her real hypnotic experience, but if she was just trained for this performance, it did not show. She carries the part convincingly, even to one with significant hypnotic experience.

They make a good point:

Considering a live session with a female hypnotist will cost over 100 dollar an hour, and considering how hard it is to find a good looking, young and experienced female hypnotist who would understand this 'aspect' of hypnosis, this is well worth the investment. The good thing about our video is, you get to keep it, and you get to watch over and over as many times as you like.

They are right – the hypnotists I am involved with regularly charge this price to all of their clients, and we all know that you cannot just walk into a regular hypnotherapist's office and find someone who will understand this need and be willing to offer assistance and support rather than thinking you are a pervert and freaking out or simply declining to proceed. (OK, so I did manage to walk into a regular hypnotherapist's office and do just that, but it is not something that happens often.)

One on one sessions, in person or by telephone, take up considerable time whose cost is born by just one person, you, so these sessions are inherently expensive. You can probably find cheaper help but it is not likely to be effective. You don’t want to pretend to be hypnotized and lose control, you want to BE hypnotized, to feel that control, to feel that intensity, to feel that resulting freedom and lack of responsibility, to enter Nirvana. You also want to come back safe. Somebody with the skills to do this well and to be safe is valuable and you do pay for this value.

The videos cannot be as intense and as personal as a 1:1 session, and they do not adjust to you, but they are affordable. I’ve very wary of any internet hypnotists as there are just too many who start by drawing attention to their gift wish list, who think the path is to destroy your ego or capabilities, or who try to make you dependent on them. These fdhypnovideo ladies are none of this. They seem to want to help and to understand that if they do you will return because of the value you received.

I’m not into giving endorsements, and I’ve not actually watched their full videos, but I have watched this team carefully for some time and not only have they not set off any alarms, they just “feel” right. I suspect that they and my Mistresses would probably get along. Actually, I expect that their first words to each other would probably be something like “Oh, its you!” because the effective and well meaning hypno community is a small world.

Net: Check them out.

0 Comments:

Mani-Hypnotized * 20

At exactly 3:00 on the 20'th I developed a need to get a Manicure (see "Submitting to Mistress N"). I had been sort of clock watching and I pretty much knew why. I was checking every 5 to 7 minutes, but lost track, looked up -- it was 3:00 exactly, and my expectation that I would be needing to get a manicure shifted suddenly to one of needing a manicure and needing to do something about it soon.

There is a small Asian nail salon on the block with my office. I walk by it often while strolling and have noticed that it is not busy in the afternoons. The first time I ever went into a nail salon was the last time Mistress N installed this compulsion in me (see Mistress N's Effects, Choosing a Pretty Stranger to Hypnotize You, and Hypnotized twice by mysterious strangers and I had not cut my nails since. This was the same place as before.

I ended up seeing the same lady as before. This time my fingers went loose and limp, basically submitting to her manipulations. That was it until
.
.
.
she pulled out an emery board. Oops, I guess that suggestion is still hanging around. (See The Mistress Thing -- Log) The effect was not as powerful as before, but I was buzzing out except
.
.
.
she was a yammerer today! I guess she got more comfortable with me and did more small talk -- and it is hard to be buzzed and be effective at smalltalk. She did try to upsell me on a pedicure -- it worked. Normally I'm hard to upsell, and I'm not at all into having my nails done, but it seemed like a good way to extend the buzz. Was it a hypnotic effect? Did I accept the upsell because I was buzzed? It certainly did not hurt, but I think I might have decided to on my own just to enjoy the effect longer

I like manicures better. They don't tickle.

We moved from a semi-isolated manicure station to a row of 3 massage chairs with foot baths, with the other two chairs in use. I sat in the empty one at one end and she started this foot jacuzzi. No big deal, but in the next position was -- another emery board -- this time held by a more attractive lady working on the nails of a 35ish fairly fit Asian lady. I started zoning out a bit to that and the person doing the pedicure next door saw it and smiled a bit -- she probably thought I had a foot fetish, I really doubt that she could have suspect that I have an emery board compulsion and she was triggering it.

The nail trimming on the feet was not very interesting, and when the emery board came out for my feet it did not work all that well, probably because I was in essence being tickled at the same time. I'm not very ticklish, bit these toes were undergoing more external manipulation in these 20 minutes than they've had in my entire aware life outside of some massages.

So I paid and left. They might be wondering if I'll be a regular. So am I.

0 Comments:

Talking Back

(This is the next in the thread started by "I need to stretch" -- a story of compulsion)

Today was a partial repeat of yesterday, but not as strong. I did have a "need to streatch" thought upon waking up and before I really oriented myself to the day, and my back felt that tightness -- but it was talking rather than screaming. I felt a moment of that hyopno wozzyness when turning on the shower water but not when I got in it. I did not stretch in the shower, I forgot to, but I did later while groming.

It occurs to me that there seems to be two window of opportunity for strong suggested effects.

When I first wake up and before I really orient myself to the day there seems to be a time when suggested thoughts insert themselves. I'm kind of in autopilot mode as I get out of bed, and this auto-pilot seems ready to play your implanted scripts and to do it before I apply consious awareness to anything.

The second is the shower itself -- it is one place where it seems certain that I'll be alone and safe and is one place where some strongly implanted action, even a zombification, is likely to be effective. This also applies but not quite as strongly to the time I'm enter the bathroom to the time I get into the shower. By the time I'm out I'm probably in work/planning mode and suggestions would have a harder time getting their turn.

0 Comments:

Nighttime submission

This is a follow up to one of the suggestions implanted in Submitting to Mistress N

I definitely went under as she suggested last night, a few moments after I was settled I found I was taking slow deep breaths and after the third I internally whispered that trigger in your voice and I felt a wave of relaxation starting at my neck sending me on my way to a relaxed state where I was strongly feeling her controlling presence. My thoughts were mainly of the feeling of her presence and were otherwise unordered. Of these, the most dominant thought was something to the form of "I will submit to Mistress N, I will follow her suggestions absolutely and instantly" with a vision of an in-person session where she was implanting very very deeply the compulsion to submit and then to please. I'd start to fall asleep and have other thoughts but would "startle" back and fall back into those submission thoughts.

I don't know if it lasted all night as I did fall asleep and stay asleep, but when I woke up there was a feeling of something ending.

I do know that I want to submit to Mistress N, I want her to take me fully under, to make me submit to her and to make re-submittal automatic, instant, and irresistible. I want to please her with this, I need to please her , I desire to please her . I want to follow her commands, doing them absolutely and without question, I want to be made fully hers for her to control and play with as she wishes, to submit everything to her knowing that I will have fun, she will have
fun, and that she will eventually bring me back.

I also know that I'm happy, content, maybe even a bit euphoric about the above.

0 Comments:

She would have been my first Goddess

I received an invite to join the goddessevilenaslinks Yahoo group. When I asked, it was confirmed that this invite came because of the interest I've shown in hypnosis in this blog.

OK, I accepted the invite and went to go see what was in that group and who this person was. The picture on the groups home page was unfamiliar and similar to many. I’m always concerned about precipitation with those I consider to be into the dark side, so I checked out one of her sites. I then read her “How I Became a Hypnotic Goddess” story and

AHA, I know her!

Or at least I know of her, and I've spent considerable time thinking about her. Let me explain.

In the mid 90's I spent considerable time in Ft Lauderdale and Boca Raton. Time enough to exhaust the tourist value, and not enough time to develop a social network (outside of some regular dance partners at Desperados and elsewhere). I also had the hypnotic submission fetish and no effective outlet for it. This lasted for about 2 years, of which at least 8 months were spent there, generally a week at a time.

About 2 years later, as the web matured, I discovered her. I think she may have had a less out there public persona at that time. She seemed like somebody who had a complimentary interest, the skills to apply it, and she did not set off any alarm bells. I don’t remember her having a dungeon at that time or being into the BDSM side of things, and even though she currently has more of that than I’d personally prefer it is not full of the dark meanness I see so many other places.

There is no doubt that I would have tried to have sessions with her, many of them, had I known of her back then. She well may have been my first Goddess.

I anguished over the lost opportunity when I discovered she had been so near. I've not been back to Florida since but for some time I kept checking on her just in case I got the opportunity again – I was not going to let it go to waste should I get it. Eventually it seemed like Florida was not in my future and I ceased checking.

Then I get this invite.

I do wonder how well it would have worked out. Her current projected public persona may be somewhat extreme for me, but it may be that she works in many modes. It would at the least have been quite educational.

Her group is quite established and while I do not find all of the postings to be interesting (are they ever in any group?) the group seems free of spam and bogus postings and does seem like a good way to stay in touch with new developments.

0 Comments:

Submitting to Mistress N

Mistress N called my by surprise today for a 20 minute mid-day session. It was not a complete surprise as this was one of her probable times, but it was not really scheduled.

I took a few minutes to drive to a quiet spot and started relaxing waiting for her to call again.

She briefly checked my environment and then started that hypnotic voice of hers – possibly hitting me with triggers, I don’t really remember. She took me down a staircase style induction with me repeating the next number each step of the way along with phrases such as “deeper”. I’m writing this at the end of the day and my memory is already garbled as to the sequence after that.

She asked me at one point if I wanted to go deeper, but that if I did I would have to submit to her and do everything she tells me instantly and without question. I easily agreed. She then doubled by depth witht he N trigger, and I felt a wave pass through me.

I was gloating in nothingness when she had me open my eyes. I thought she might be taking me to a more wide-awake zombification sort of trance but she was instead fractionating – it worked. I was very under, and very much in her control, submitting to whatever she had in mind without bothering with any of those silly, needless, and distracting questions.

With one of the eye openings she had me inspect my nails and decide it was time for a manicure. She set 3:00 as when I would make the appointment and prepared my fingers to relax and submit when it was done. She also set up another nighttime trance, a one night deal only, where I’ll resubmit as I go to bed tonight – it is not clear if this is just for when I fall asleep or if I’ll be submitting all night long. I’ll find out I guess.

She also associated for the day the color green with thinking of her. Well, I have a window that faces a tree with beautiful new green leaves, so I was thinking about her a lot today.

She kept taking me deeper. At one point I was repeating phrases like “I want to please her, I need to please her, I desire to please her, I submit to you Mistress N, I will do everything you tell me instantly and without question”, and I meant them all and felt rushes of goodness from saying them.

I’m tired, and eager to experience her gift, so I’m probably not blogging as well as I sometimes do.

I love submitting to Mistress N! She is quite direct about wanting it, and I'm quite direct about wanting to give it. I hope she is sleeping knowing that I'll be in her submission tonight.

2 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

You will go deeper next time, my submissive one! You will submit to me and hence enjoy it. Is that not so?

4/22/2005 11:28 PM  

 Deep Trancer said...

It is so.

I will surrender to you, I am eager for that next call, and once I hear your voice and those words I go on a trip directed by you and if you stear me deeper then there is where I will go.

4/23/2005 8:24 PM  

"I need to stretch" -- a story of compulsion

(Note: this entry is from another date, I sat on it for a while before deciding to post it as I do not share most therapeutic stories, but this one is too fun to remain suppressed. One of the Mistresses/Goddesses probed into some lower back problems and gave me some hypnotic assistance to be doing what I should be doing.)

=============

My alarm did not go off this am. Woke up and groggily headed toward the shower thinking "I need to stretch" . . . oops, did I really think that? Yes, I did. Wow, it must be that suggestion.

Then I realized that my lower back was demanding attention-- feeling tense, bunched up. If a part of the body could scream, it was doing it. Feeling it with my hands It felt tight externally. It wanted to be stretched.

Got into the shower and got slightly woozy -- the stretching did not want to wait for the water to get going but I made it wait.

When I finally did stretch I felt calm and relaxed and a sense of being "in sync with" the hypnotist in the same manner I had been "in sync with" with her in the session. I didn't hear her voice but I felt her influence.

===========

It is funny. I think that I'm not paying that much attention to some of these things, that yes I'm listening to her voice and following her images, but not necessarily thinking that it will have that much impact on me later (I'm not thinking that it won't either) and then later I find myself doing it.

She has suggested/told/commanded/hypnotized me to exercise more and to run and those have happened, but this stretching thing was more overt, so overt in its effect that it was humorous. The "I need to stretch" thought was totally spontaneous and strong, and my back feeling the way it did gives me new respect for the subconscious effects of hypnosis because I would not know how to even begin to consciously chose to have it do that. The woozyness in the shower is similar to what I felt the last time Goddess B zapped me at the start of the session.

The raw reality is that I WAS responding to her suggestions, that her suggestions were having a strong impact on me, a compulsion, not totally irresistible but resisting would have been upsetting while complying felt so natural. She managed to get into my mind and leave some of herself there, leave some influences that work on me even when I'm not thinking about her or about anything hypnotic. She is not exactly "controlling" me in that I could chose not to do one of these things but then she did not try to make these completely irresistible. (The thought that I need to stretch and the feeling in the back were spontaneous and not under conscious control, so my having these probably were irresistible as they occured before I had a chance to resist.)

The unplanned wozzyness indicates that she probably could chose to make a more irresistible effect. I could have at that moment easily slipped into a zombification trance before I knew it was happening and found myself mindlessly doing exactly what I had been told/commanded. She hadn't tried for this effect and she probably didn't even try for an effect as strong as I got this morning, but my reactions tell me that it had been available to her to use if she wanted.

Talk about compulsion!

0 Comments:

Enchant me, Please

(Pre-session note to Goddess B)

The best words I can use to describe last week are that I was "in your spell". At one point I entered a state of being completely in tune to your words, to your requests, wanting to comply, eager to comply. I can't imagine any magical enchantment being more through than what I was feeling.

And it felt great! You can put me in your spell anytime. Maybe I should rephrase -- please put me back under your spell again.

-- YHS

0 Comments:

The Mistresses are Hooked

At least some of the Mistresses have become hooked to this blog and to my other communications.

I'm sort of playing with fire here, sharing comments about them and my reactions to them when they will have me surrendered again and again. Added to this is that I do a fair amount of teasing, most of it lost to the readers of this blog who lack the context key to interpret it.

Well, playing with fire is a form of intensity, and intensity is hypnotic.

1 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

How perceptive you are my most submissive! On the weekends, I miss our hypnotic sessions and I find myself looking forward to your responses in the blog.

4/16/2005 4:38 PM  

Car Trance

Had a quick car trance (parked) from Goddess X today. Some communications earlier in the day had caused some hurt feelings and while the issue behind it had been resolved some of the feelings remained. The trancing was a means for both of us to put those aside.

0 Comments:

S S S Surrendering

Session with Goddess X:

Greeted, normal chit-chat. Explained her business attire was from another meeting, not there in preparation for me.

She told me that I look good, I guess I'm getting a lot of hypnofun

She had me sit in her living room, not in her studio. More chit-chat.

Discussed my stuttering (not terrible but often present).

Tranced in her living room chair. Taken fairly deep and given suggestions that certain doorways on the way to her studio will be trance triggers, with my going into different levels of trance as I pass each.

She had spent some time deepening, and I was probably physically relaxed. (She applied a hand limpness test several times through the session.) As she was getting ready to awaken me I had a thought wondering if she was looking at me and thing "boy, he is really hypnotized, he is really gone, gone, gone"

Awakened and then exited the building so that I could reenter and experience the doors. I'm not sure how well it worked, but from her reactions it must have been working pretty well.

I was escorted to her studio and put into the rocking chair. Some deepenings, and after a short time I was placed on the table.

Lots of suggestions of profound surrendering, profound relaxation. These were often delivered in whispers. Some "bringing me up a bit" at points so I could be more responsive.

I had a definite smell, some definite but not super strong fragrance. I interpreted it almost as if it were chloroform, envisioning myself being forced by it to more fully surrender. She identified it as lavender and built up an association between it and relaxation and suggested that I get some around my household.

Suggestions were given about my stuttering, that I would basically take more time in speaking. I had some concerns because I am a fast talker and there is some association between fast talkers and perceived intelligence, so my fast talking probably serves me. Still, I accepted the suggestions.

She started building up a laughter reaction, and then anchored it to a "Pleasure Now" trigger I could self administer to feel that feeling again to replace stress.

Talk at the end about how she and the other Mistresses are having a hard time coming up with ideas, but that it might just be that they are still learning to leave their boxes.

The net of it was that this was a basically therapeutic session enabled by authorative hypnosis focused on me surrendering totally to her. It did not have much Mistressy stuff in it at all.

However, she still called herself Goddess Mistress.

We discussed some of what had happened with B I volunteered in an awake state that given her influence over me that I'd voluntarily bow out of recognition of this. After a moment she gave me a "go ahead". It was a disaster. Interference by the dog, and not the feelings I expected. In hindsight, I can speculate that in trance I am aware of only one implication of the kneeling, whereas out of trance I am aware of all of them and this gets complicated.

0 Comments:

Intensity in Hypnosis

Brian David Phillips has many good thoughts about hypnosis, there are not that many hypnosis blogs with real content, but he has one and his is worth regular reading. It has some off-topic articles such as something about his best friend's Yoga, but, hey, it is his blog and he can put in it whatever he wants and I'd be disappointed if he stopped posting.

He is also somebody else whose life is a living hypnosis dream. A different dream than mine, but a dream nonetheless. I suspect that many fantasize about experiencing even a small fraction of what his life is everyday. Go Brian!

One particular post, http://briandavidphillips.typepad.com/brian/2005/04/further_discuss is relevant to me.

It discusses hypnosis as not having depths or levels but having intensity. Hypnosis does have depth, and it does mean something when I go deeper, and these can probably be grouped crudely into levels. Crudely is the operative term, the concepts of depth and levels have some applicability but the concept is a so-so fit. Intensity is a better fit for measuring much of the hypnotic experience.

The intensity displaces all other thoughts, all other choices of actions, all other possibilities. You are intensely involved and you go where the intensity takes you without concern or even awareness of pros-and-cons or of consequences. You just do it.

It just happens that the hypnotist/Mistress/Goddess is deciding what "it" is. They establish the intensity and they direct where it goes and this takes you with it.

The intensity is wonderful, totally involving, totally releasing of all your other life, all of your other worries, there is nothing but you, this intensity, and whatever the intensity involves.

Often the intensity is inwardly focused
Sometimes the intensity is focused on some imagery (e.g. a guided dream)
Sometimes the intensity might be on a behavior in need of changing
Sometimes it might be on your memories or attitudes (e.g. probing)
Sometimes it might be involvement in an action of activity
Sometimes it might be on a focus of serving the hypnotist
Sometimes it might be a focus on the hypnotist herself

(Note: this has not really been done yet in the experiences in this blog. Even in last week's Goddess Mistress eyes open time I was not really focused on Goddess X herself. The emery board and hand kissing are probably the closest so far to a focus directly on the hypnotist.)

There are also times when the experience is of nothingness, but it is an intense nothingness. (You might have to had been deeply hypnotized to understand this one.)

Looking at it from the other direction, if your hypnotic experience is not intense, then you might have spare thoughts, might be critically analyzing everything, might not be fully into the experience, and might not be as fully hypnotized.

When I am under and rambling on about doing everything I am told, wanting to do it, having to do it, submitting fully, being in her complete control, surrendering -- these are all intense expressions. Just read them again and see the intensity.

I think the intensity sometimes scares off the hypnotist. They see it happening, they feel it happening, they feel the intensity, and it is just . . . too intense? They might wonder if it is safe, if it is balanced, if it is close to being out of control, might it be psycho, are they ready for this? I'll never fault a hypnotist for staying within her comfort zone -- that is a core principle that I must adhere to internally and externally because if I did not I might be pushy and that makes for an unworkable dynamic. However as I wrote the first part of this paragraph I starting to wonder if those that back off from intensity are just not that experienced a hypnotist? If intensity is a core part of hypnosis, and if you are getting it, really getting it, from a client, why back off? You've got it, you've established the trance, you've established all that is needed to work wonders -- now just direct the intensity to where you want it to be.

=============================

How could one possibly not pay attention, intense attention, when an attractive female is driving?

2 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

Oh yes, my most submissive! Now you understand hypnosis. I love the word intense. Or perhaps...real as in reality. For the more real a feeling is to us(or intense)the more we respond with intensity. A part of your brain does not know the difference between reality and unreality. It responds with intensity. It is only the conscious mind that knows real from unreal. The intensity comes from your unconscious mind.

You will submit to me and be under my safe control as you go deeper and deeper each time you hear my voice. Feel the intensity and.. enjoy...my most submissive.

4/14/2005 11:10 AM  

 Deep Trancer said...

The more intense it is the more real it is, and the less real are the things that are at other times real to me. When you call, when you captivate me, when I develop that intense focuss on your voice, letting your words flow, you become my reality, my universe, and I submit to you and to this reality you create, so much so that parts of your reality remains accepted as my truth even after I awake.

I love this intensity, I love submitting to you, letting you take me deep, finding myself going deep before I even realy acknowledge what is happening, feeling safe, feeling your control. I do so enjoy it and it is so cool that so do you.

4/15/2005 9:33 AM  

Nirvanic Night

Mistress N surprised me with a call last night. I was not expecting her to call, I had not noticed email or browsing activity from her for an hour or so, and it was pretty late, significantly later than her earlier calls, so that even when I thought about the possibility of a call I dismissed it thinking that the window of opportunity had passed. Net: I was not expecting it at all.

I started reacting to her voice with her first word. She had not tranced me yet, but preparations were already taking place. She asked if it was safe, it was, and she asked if it was ok for her to call again so soon. She must be kidding!

Of course you can call again, my Mistress of Nirvana
and again, and again...,
whenever you are feeling playful,
whenever you need a moment when you are unquestioningly in charge,
you may always call.

This dialog probably took less than 10 seconds and then she shifted her voice, causing an immediate reaction in me. I don't remember what she said, how she deepened me, but I was soon gone, my environment faded away from my awareness, the only thing happening in my universe was her voice.

She may have played around a bit with Mistressy stuff, confirming my surrender, reinforcing my instant submission to her, reinforcing my desire to be in her control, but I don't remember the details.

She likes to leave gifts, post-hypnotic effects that happen without being noticed by those around me but which I notice, and I love getting these, having these secret hypnotized moments.

One was another attempt at bedtime hypnosis, but this time with a more specific trigger sequence and (I think) without any instructions related to dreaming. The other was an event to occur in my car on the way to work.

After the call I was definitely relaxed and euphoric. It probably would have been natural to go to bed given the time and this feeling, but ... I ended up exercising first ... probably fulfilling suggestions from another Mistress. During the exercising I was reflecting much more on this Mistress than on Mistress N, possibly also as a result of a suggestion, perhaps one from this Mistress that I'd relax and think about her while exercising. (That is certainly one way to make doing it more attractive.)

When I got into bed and had taken care of the administrative things like lights and TV the trigger sequence started. By this I do not mean that I decided to start the trigger sequence, at least I had no conscious thought to start it, I was actually thinking I'd start it in a minute or so, but another part of me did not wait. I took one long and slow deep breath. On the second breath I figured out I was following the sequence and sort of admired it with amused amazement. My head was on the pillow, face up, eyes open when I did a third long and very slow breath and then felt my eyes getting heaver and heaver, my body relaxing, that fading effect starting. My eyes closed just for a moment and my body relaxed further, I remembered the sound of her voice (but no words, interesting.) I tried to open my eyes but they would not, they stayed shut, I could move my eyes, it was just the eyelids that would not cooperate. I studied the effect while my body relaxed even more and I ended up acknowledging that I was at that moment under Mistress N's control, that I had been under her control earlier, that I was eager to have her do it again, but that at that very moment I was submitting, I was in her control, that her instructions had started without me and that they took me back into her control in a very pleasant but also a very irresistible manner. I was at that moment hers.

(I did not at the time think about what she might be thinking or what she might be doing -- part of hypnosis is that sometimes the hypnotist is "there" and sometimes not and I was too hypnotized to divert attention to speculation on what her status at that time might be. However, now that I' m awake I can hope that where ever she was that she had a smile inside and maybe on her face as well knowing that somebody somewhere was at that moment doing what she had instructed, that she had extended that gentle but compelling control, that while she was not at that moment interacting that she was still in charge. Just as I fell asleep with this nirvanic bliss, I hope she fell asleep feeling empowered and confident in her influence.)

I drifted into sleep with this general impression of being in her control. I'd nod off for a bit, maybe even dream momentarily, then wake up only to immediately revert to the hypnotized posture, mindset, and impression of her control before nodding off again. This probably happened 3 to 6 times before I feel asleep, or at least quit remembering waking up.

z z z z z z z z . . .

Wake up time! After a moment of disoriented came a wave of memories and appreciation of the previous night, and with this came a wave of acknowledging that I had gone under, that I had followed her instructions, that I had been in her control and for all I knew might still be.

I went trough my normal beginning of day routine without thinking about it much more. I found myself once again having pleasant memories of the night, of being ion her control, and longing for the next time I hear her voice. I was stopped at a red light -- whoops -- that is what she set as the trigger! Once again, I reacted to the trigger before noticing (or remembering) that the trigger was there. I was still in her control. Cool.

Thank you, Mistress N, the Mistress of Nirvana and Nirvanic Nights.
This was fun!

============

Hmm. One observation. Now that she has managed a surprise trance, I'll be even more aware of the possibility of one. Before it was a mainly a theoretical possibility, something about which I had said that if she ever accomplished it given our limited logistics that it really would be a surprise. Well, she has accomplished it and the possibility is no longer just theoretical. I'll probably be thinking of my cell phone and her often whenever this window of opportunity again opens, knowing that she might actually call, and that I'll happily go under for her as soon as she does.

I just remembered: We had a disconnect near the beginning of the session. I had not remembered it until now, my memories and impressions are of a continuous session, so I guess I must have stayed under during the disconnect. Maybe that is why I flubbed one of the buttons.

1 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

Yes!
I am Mistress Nirvana, your mistress of relaxation and surrender. The very sound of my voice, real or unreal, takes you to Nirvana, real or unreal.

4/13/2005 11:15 AM  

Nirvanic Dreams

Last night Mistress N called around 11:00. We had a few businessish things to discuss but she then shifted voice tones and demanded my attention and relaxation, both of which she got automatically. She took me down quickly and soon my world was only her words and my relaxation.

Everything is a bit foggy as so often seems to be the case. I think she enhanced my submittal to her every command and the instant and automatic nature of my going under for her. She told me something about being in my car today and remembering or thinking of the trances and relaxation. She also instructed me that as soon as my head hit the pillow that I'd go into a trance thinking of submitting to her and would fall asleep dreaming of this. It was unclear if I would dream about this all night.

When she counted me up there was momentary disoriented, a shaking of my head, as I climbed out of the mental well I had been in.

===

In the mourning preparation and rush I did not think much about last night. However as soon as I started my car I started thinking about the session, about how nice it is to submit to her, to do whatever she tells me, to relax into her words and it felt good to think these things. I was sort of mentally composing this post thinking about it and it was not until I was almost at work that I realized ** I was acting on one of her triggers! **

Post-hypnotic behavior is odd and fascinating. You are doing it, and if asked you might realize that you are doing it because of the hypnosis, but it does not occur to you to ask, you just do it. It is as if all the thinking about if you were going to do it and why has already occurred, your doing it is a "done deal", a decision that you already made and do not need to think about again.

So I get out of my car and start to enter work mode, planning what I must do this AM, etc. I was no longer thinking of being hypnotized or of Mistress N when I pressed the remote key lock. *Wham*, the thoughts are back. I actually did a small stagger as my coordination was momentarily messed up by the flood of thoughts. I looked around and there was some lady about 20 feet behind me looking at me with minor curiosity and my thought was wondering what she would think if she knew why I had staggered, if she knew what memories I was having, if she knew that I had submitted to the womanly Mistress N's control. Would she want this in her life? We'll never know, but I think that it is likely that she will never know what she is missing.

===
The going to bed trance probably did not start quite the way Mistress N wanted. I still had administrative things to do after my head had touched the pillow such as turning off the TV and lights and had to fight the wave of going under that tried to happen on the first touch. After I was ready I tried to think that this was when my head was *really* hitting the pillow and that had some effect but not nearly as strong as the earlier wave.

I like what Mistress N tried, falling asleep while hyponotized and reflecting on one of these experiences is perfect. What might work better would be some more explicit trigger, maybe have me think something like "N is my Mistress", "Mistress N makes me relax", or "I submit to Mistress N" as the key to kick off the trance that will lead to sleep.

I do know that as I fell asleep I thought a lot about Mistress N, hearing her voice, being in her control, and imagining what it might be like to submit to her person to person. I don't know if I was hypnotized during this ... well maybe I do know as I'm pretty sure that during this if she had somehow magically appeared and told me to do something, or if her voice spoke out that I would have simply and unquestionable done it. So maybe I was hypnotized, but it is not the same without an active driver. Maybe one of these times she can try giving me a specific scenario to envision.

I don't know if I dreamed of hypnosis related things during the night. I rarely remember my dreams, and I don't remember dreaming of anything else and I do have an impression of in the night of feeling the comfort of having let go into a trusted persons control.

0 Comments:

The Goddess Touch

No more Mistress B, it is now Goddess B.

Today she established herself as a Goddess. She zapped me fairly quickly after I entered, using the two triggers and the so very effective "as I undress, as I remove each piece of clothing, I will go deeper and deeper into surrender" or something like it. That really works, it makes the undressing a symbolic leaving of my normal world and entering into her world and into her influence.

Once I was on the table and she had reentered, she seemed a bit more assertive about my relaxing, my putting myself where I was comfortable, my putting herself where I will do everything she asks, putting myself in her complete control.

She then referred to herself as Goddess B, not Mistress B. That pretty much answered the question of if she wanted to be a Goddess, and her mentioning the word brought back associations from when Goddess X used it. My mind shifted from heading to more or less blank selfless Nirvana to heading to selfless dedication to serving her, to wanting to obey her, to worship her, to satisfy her every hypnofun wish. Whereas before my compliance is more or less a side effect, I have nothing else to do so I comply, it becomes a goal, I become an active participant in putting myself fully into that mode.

I'll list the session events, or at least those I remember, later in this entry. I do know that I went further into her control than ever before, that at some points I desperately wanted to do what she said, and for her to know just how gone I was, just how much she could have me do. I think this was a result of her Goddess status, and a result of her being more comfortable directing me there, her giving me suggestions that lead to this effect, her not being shy about demanding influence.

Events: She did her usual alternation between passive and active

• She often suggested sleep during the passive moments, that I just go to sleep. I probably did not quite go to sleep, but my mental state did change with these suggestions, my alertness decreased, she shifted more into the background, I would have short moments of spontaneous dreaming
• She might have suggested dreams or provided imagery at some point, I'm not sure
• I approached that globe music box, wound it, and tranced out listening to it
• I was awake and looking at a female garden/Easter hat on the wall, talking about it and talking about my hypnotized experience. She was there, but I was unwilling to remove my eyes from that hat. We discussed silly behaviors under hypnosis, such as wearing that hat, and that how in that room, in a session, it did not matter. So what if I did silly things while there, doing them is a sense of freedom, of being out of the box, of her exercising her influence, and nobody would know (except, of course, for the other Mistresses, and the readers of this blog).
• I found myself bowing down before her, with my field of view limited to the toes of her shoes (maybe there was some tunnel vision going on), acknowledging her as a Goddess
• At one point I was "awake" laying on the table and looking at her, but I perceived her as different, not as that lady who had greeted me at the door, but with an aura of Goddessness around her.
• Various simple directives such as placements of arms, moving limbs, etc.
  

Afterwards my post-hypnosis disorientation lasted longer than usual. Normally I'm more or less back by the time I redress, this time I was really still waking up as I walked out to talk to her.

She was glowing -- and I don't mean that hypnotic goddess glow impression I had while under, I mean that she was energized, entheuastic, ego pumped, and excited. (And being the bashful butterfly that she is, she is probably blushing as she reads this.) I think that she really liked this empowerment, this new role of hers.

So did I.

I look forward to next time, my Goddess.

0 Comments:

Beyond Nirvana

Nirvana might actually be just a mid point, a point where all the worries, concerns, responsibilities, and other baggage you've brought in with you have been set aside.

I once thought that was the destination, but maybe not. Nirvana might just represent a blank slate, a cleaned mind, cleaned of all that baggage, and a mind onto which new goals and identities can be written, at least for a short while.

Nirvana is the ultimate selflessness, but once you are there you can be lead anywhere. The paths you've always taken form the deepest ruts and are where you will return once the bliss ends, but for now with a little guidance you can be lead down new roads.

This may be in essence what Mistress X achieved in her emergence to a goddess thing -- get my mind blank and in Nirvana and then superimpose on it the roles and direction she wants for right then.

0 Comments:

More Finger Fun -- Revised

I've been having fun with that finger thing. Every time I place my fingers in a certain position I find that I can't keep my eyes open, and if I leave them there for even 5 -10 seconds my neck muscles relax and my head slumps. Mistress N's voice plays faintly in my head -- not her words, just a general impression of her voice when it is in that tone she uses and when my mind is tuned into her.

If I do the finger thing and try to keep my eyes open I develop a buzz, feel a small headache, and just feel like I'm doing something wrong, sort of a guilty feeling.

I'm free to cease doing the finger thing at any time, and that is what I do if the eye closing, head slumping, and general relaxation is not appropriate.

It is not quite drop me in my tracks extreme, but it is definitely there. It is not fightable. By this I mean that when I decide to "fight"I just undo the finger thing. I've thought I would try the finger thing and try to fight the effect, but all that happens is that I get uncomfortable in a few seconds and sort of shake my head and undo the fingers. I've not managed to do the finger trigger and not have the effect.

It is amusing to me in that it is so reliable. I know it is there, I know who put it there, and I know the trigger is coming, and yet it repeats again and again no matter how much I play with it.

So, Mistress N, I don't know if I am getting just "relaxed" or all out hypnotized or if the distinction is even possible, but if it is all out hypnotized then I've been falling into your spell time and time again this weekend.

=================

Woke up Monday and tried the finger thing -- nothing, nada, no effect whatsoever. This is just as Mistress N instructed. I did not think I was paying that much attention to the details of what she was saying, but it seemed to have gotten to where it needed to. Its really cool in a way because I really was operating under the influence of her suggestions, under her gentle control really, during the weekend.

0 Comments:

Nothing happened . . .

Funny thing. I got out of my car at home later in the day after the session with Mistress N and got to the door of my house and realized that nothing had happened, and didn't she say something to me about a gift related to that car and home?


.


.


.

Then I realized I had not locked the car. I hit the lock button on my key chain and *wham* -- instant relaxation wave in neck and shoulders, and a noticeable shift in attitude. I guess she had planted a relaxation and shift away from work suggestion triggered by my locking the car.

0 Comments:

5 for 5, a week to remember

I have been hypnotized each workday of this week, by three existing Mistresses.

When I'm 95 and senile in a nursing home I will still remember this week. No one with a hypno-fetish, especially one who has had to leave it hidden and unsatisfied for so long, could ever have a better week. THANK YOU to all of my Mistresses.


The latest came today when Mistress N went out of her way to give me a telephone session just to make it a 5 for 5 week. (She actually went out of her way twice, but the first time I missed a call for what would have been an instant surprise hypnosis. Aaargh!)

She started right in demanding an instant trance. Not a problem, I was on my way gone by her second word. It is funny how somebody I still have not meet and is still a mystery Mistress can have so much effect on me, but I do respond to her voice and to her written electronic commands.

I'm making this blog entry a day later and most details of the call have faded. She took me on some effective deepenings and probably made me even more ready to respond to her voice. (Actually, as I sit here a day later it is clear -- I long to hear her voice again, and just thinking about it makes my shoulders ache for an instant trance). I remember at one point listening and yet not listening as she gave me instructions and gifts.

One gift is that I will be able to do that water glass thing again. One is that the finger thing will work through the weekend, one is some relaxation tied to locking my car, and there might be another that I can't remember right now.

When she counted me up it was like climbing out of a well.

Thanks, Mistress N! I'll be playing with these gifts all weekend.


My only question is: If this is such a special week to remember, why is so much of it a clouded memory?

0 Comments:

Replaying the tape

Last night and today while grooming or doing some other semi-automatic task that did not require much attention I found myself playing and replaying images and words from my last session with Mistress X, replaying the tape or some mangled version of it. What she said to me seems to have been my "background music" for this period.

0 Comments:

Emergence of a Goddess

Mistress X was dressed a bit differently today, in business skirt and blouse, almost as if attending some city event. I asked her about it and she said she was planning to take it to the next level. (?)

In that instantly hypnotizing voice of hers she told me she wanted to be called (then she paused, perhaps wondering if she was really going to do it) “Goddess Mistress”. She then had me kiss her hand and I somehow ended up eyes closed, under, and being repositioned into this rocking chair that faces her. She must have triggered me, but I do not remember it. It all happened very quicky, it was probably less than three minutes between the time I entered her door, did smalltalk on the way to her studio, called her Goddess Mistress, and finally found myself in that chair, limp, "gone, gone, gone" as she says, and totally tied into her words and directions.

She took me deep in that ever so effective way of hers using deepenings that I don’t really remember, they are just old friends to me by now. Actually I am not sure if she needed to apply deepenings, I may have just gone there based on her presence and habit. The she talked of reaching a new level of surrender, a more profound level, one that would exist just between her and I, and by various symbolisms and other things that are pretty lost to me she somehow got me there. Then being the good hypnotist she was she planted a new trigger she can use to return me to it.

The gist of what happened is a full establishment of the Mistress relationship. It is odd to think that it was just two weeks ago that I first used that term. She seems to have found the role comfortable, probably very comfortable, and so have I, especially after her hypnotic conditioning. She is now past the last of the cautious therapist and is just willing to play with and have fun with her power, and I am quite glad to be there. It is so simple!

It is important to note that none of this negates any previous comment in any of these blog entries. She is simply fully using her influence, but the dark stuff is not there and will not be there. The relationship is not any more than it used to be and still excludes what it always excluded, what has changed is a full mutual acceptance of the Mistress thing, or maybe I should say the Goddess Mistress thing.

The timeline and sequence of events is extremely fussy. Some things I do remember are the following

Her fiddling with what terms to describe us. Is she my Goddess Mistress, my Queen Mistress, or ???, and what am I (not a slave or a servant, but definitely submissive and her hypnotic subject).

Her asking if she had hit any of my boundaries yet. A quick mental check and it was clear – no, she hadn’t. I was feeling quite comfortable with the whole thing. It wasn't what I expected, but I have invited her to surprize me and she did.

Watching her wave her hand, wanting to kiss it again, and instead being sent to eyes closed slumped state. Again gone, gone, gone as she so aptly described, but with a few more “gone”s thrown in. At one point I was listening to her and adding “yes, Goddess Mistress” affirmations that probably did not make it to my mouth or vocal cords but were there none the less.

Some clear establishment that she is the Alpha Mistress, the prime one. This seemed right to me, she is the source and gatekeeper of all my hypnofun.

She said something about forgetting who I am, and I pretty much did. I lost my self image and let it be replaced by the one she was painting. I was still me, but I lost all context and the world she was presenting was it for me.

A focus on wanting to please her, to make her happy.

Some asking of how I was feeling in my body, if there was anything I wanted to do. These sorts of questions are hard to answer, both because I’m not thinking, and because I try to respect her boundaries. Any thought that seems close to crossing one of her boundaries is bothersome to me and my mind turns away from it.

Lots of time with my eyes opened talking to her. I really not sure all that was said.

==========
Well, she asked for and I gave a much deeper level of surrender. I was past mindless selfless Nirvana and into selfless attention to her, to her commands, to her wishes. I had no worries about if my needs would be meet, I trusted that she would take care of those so I forgot about them, and instead turned to selfless serving of her. I was glad to just be there and to have her as my Goddess Mistress, to want to please her, to make her happy. I'll take care of her and she'll take care of me.

I see it as some sort of emergence from a cocoon. She is coming to terms with having this influence, with using it, with having fun with it, and that it is not a risk to her or to I. She started as a conventional hypnotherapist bound by the silk of hypnosis community teachings, and has emerged transformed, but with all of her original self still intact.


I’m quite ok with it. A bit disoriented perhaps, hypno-drunk, but content. I have no idea where it will lead, and I don’t think she does either, but we will find out.

0 Comments:

That Finger Thing

(Sent to Mistress N the day after our last session)

The finger thing was fun yesterday, I regret not playing with it more. I had a hard time keeping my eyes open when I used it at work, and it was quite pleasant and, well, relaxing, when I tried it later. I would feel relaxation sensations in my shoulders, neck, and head and just buzzed with an impression of listening to you.

Most interestingly, today it does absolutely nothing. I did not think I was paying much attention to you when you were giving me instructions on this, but I do think you said something about it being for “today”, so I guess part of me really was paying attention.

I can’t argue with the effects, I guess I =was= hypnotized, my Mistress of Nirvana, and your words are sitting in my mind.

Thank You again

1 Comments:

 Deep Trancer said...

Mistress N said...

All my commands are imbedded deep within your subconscious mind. Would you like to experience that finger thing again?... HEAR the memory of my words as you read this. You once again feel deep within your being,...a feeling of surrender.... a sense of relaxation....as you press (right NOW) your fingers together as I instructed you to do. You will obey me as I am deep within your memory. You can even hear my words deep within your own mind as you relax totally and surrender if only for a few minutes while reading this.

4/17/2005 3:24 PM  

No Free Hypnolunch

With the Mistresses going public, it is probably good to set some basic expectations. Here are some of the things I keep in mind in all of my dealings with these great ladies.

Their motivations are not the same as mine. They may have complimentary and compatible motivations, and they might really get into it, but it is for their own reasons. One obvious difference is that this is a fetish for me and not for them. By fetish I mean that it is something I’ve had “forever” and probably will always have. For them it is at best an acquired taste. I’m stuck with it, they aren’t.

To start to understand this, read the posts on “What does the hypnotist get?”, “The Perfect Mysterious Female Hypnotist”, “Fun for Hypnotherapists!”, “A Very Interesting Kink, Indeed”, “Mistress N's Thoughts”, “A Regular Client”, and “My Delight of Being in Control”. You should see that there is much in this for the femdommes, but that what they get might not fully match what you get.

Respect them. By this I do not mean the use of formal language or titles, I mean bear in mind that you are dealing with a real person, a caring person who likes to help, and one whose feelings can be hurt or who can be easily scared. These are not jaded hurt people, quite the contrary. They may be hiding their real identities for obvious safety reasons, but they are not actresses playing a part, and they justifiably have little tolerance for those that make them uncomfortable.

Pay them. All of my Mistresses are professional therapists who regularly and justifiably get paid for their efforts. I have absolutely no reason to think that they should not be paid just as well for their efforts with me. I am glad that they take delight in the sessions, I love it if they do, but that does not in the slightest change the payment expectation. I hope that they enjoy their work, both with me and with others, because if they didn’t then they are in the wrong profession because therapists really do not earn much financially.

Looking it another way. The only way I might find true unpaid hypnofun would be if I were in a relationship with somebody, and that is not what this is about. Actually, it would probably be hard and possibly unsafe to surrender as fully as I do to somebody you have a “serious other” sort of relationship with because there are just too many things in such a relationship that need negotiation, and “Yes Mistress” would seem to be a tempting end to any discussion. (Mistress X once sent me an email that included the words “End of Discussion” in a hypnotic command. Then she fussed that I had not replied. It did not even occur to me that I had not replied, I guess the discussion had ended for me. That sort of effect could be complex in a complex relationship.) I can surrender fully because it is limited in time, space, and in how it flows over into my normal life.

They might if they are having fun express it in various ways such as fun emails, generosity with their time, flexibility in scheduling, or teasing, but that is up to them. I greatly appreciate any such things, but it does not reduce my insistence on paying.

Regarding paying them, I go with their normal rates for a reliable client. They are trained and experienced therapists and charge accordingly. I get 1:1 time, whether it be in person or not, and that means that I pay the equivalent going rate for their full attention. I could “split the cost” by buying some product that they can sell to more than one person, and such a product might be quite good, but it will never be as personal as 1:1 time and anything pre-produced will not allow for adjustments based on my reactions. For a truly personalized experience, for one that is made to work for me, I need her to be making it to work for me. An analogy is buying clothes off the rack or personally made. If off the rack fits you it is cheaper, personally made will cost more but will fit you better. I buy most of my clothes off the rack, but that is just clothes. My hypnofun is quite personal, and I like the personal fit.

As with other things in life, you decide what works for you and what you can afford and choose accordingly. There is no such thing as a free hypnolunch.

2 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

I'm not a psychologist but i don't think you are right in saying that a fetish is something you have had forever. I believe fetishes are developed. In fact, I think your Mistresses probably deal with this all the time and understand it well. As hypnotists, I would guess that they are even capable of creating, adjusting or removing fetishes. What treasures these ladies are!

4/07/2005 11:32 AM  

 Deep Trancer said...

You are probably right about the development of fetish. There may be at best a pre-disposition, but how it gets nurtured is not well understood.

Nature or Nurture, it does seem to be deeply set in many of us.

Do I want it removed? No, it is an old friend. (This would be a good Yahoo poll question.) I do think some people might want it adjusted, to have any self-destructive parts of it redirected to safe expressions.

What a win-win! See a hypnotherapist, get some satisfaction of the fetish craving, and get any harmful parts of it adjusted. You are right that these are probably the perfect ladies to adjust or remove this fetish.

I treasure them!

4/08/2005 10:43 AM  

Physically Hypnotized

This is a backdated entry for a session with Mistress B, this log was made 3 days and 2 deep trances later and the level of detail reflects this hypno-fading.

I do not remember how or where she induced the trance. After some time on the table and some deepening she imposed what was for me some fairly effective dream images of walking in the woods. She then would alternate me between table time and some definite physical activity such as being on an exercise bike, lifting small weights or (?) something involving my arms feeling light and waving. None of these had any effect on my hypnotic depth – they were something she asked me to do, so I did them, but I was definitely still under the whole time. I certainly was not having any other thoughts.

Later she had me more fully surrender and I just zoned out, just let her drive. I may have dreamed some more, but I am not sure. I surely talked, but I don’t remember about what. I found myself looking in a mirror for a bit. I don’t think I was all that “Mistressy” through the session, but there were two moments where I had my arms stretched out in front of me when I was intensely “feeling it”, feeling in her control and wanting to be there, where I would have been as “Mistressy” as I knew how if I had been talking.

Left rejuvenated and light, a feeling that remained through Friday.

0 Comments:

The urge is gone

Today after a session with Mistress B, I stopped in a fast food place.

Those who resonate with me: Have you ever looked around a room spotting people and wondering "what if", what if they were a hypnotist and interested? I've done that many times.

That urge is gone. I looked around and had no inclination whatsoever for any of those present to be involved, and I instead saw them as folks whose intentions I did not know I could trust. This is not a statement about those present in the room, it was the typical random draw you might expect. I think it is a statement that this side of me has found a safe outlet, 3 of them actually, and there is no motivation to seek anything else.

I've always been a seeker. To not be seeking, to not be needing or wanting to seek, is a truly new experience.

And a very nice one, I should add.

===============

This is not to say that I am any less interested in continuing what I have going, or that it will be any less fun for me, or that I would not welcome anybody else Mistress X approves, but it does mean something quite strange: I am content

That is much too weak a word for it, but it is the best I can think of right now.


Thank you, Mistresses! WOW!

0 Comments:

You know you've been hypnotized when ...

Man, I’ve been so hypnotized so much lately that even that swinging pendulum icon on this blog is starting to get to me. ;->

1 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

Mistress N said...

Very Cute Remark!
Maybe I'll just tell you that "You will go into your blog site at 10PM tonight and look at the swinging pendulum. You surrender to me even by the very suggestion that it will happen. How does it feel to surrender to just my suggestion of surrendering? This feeling will only last a few moments, but it feels so GOOD.I am your Mistress of Nirvana".

4/17/2005 11:09 AM  

My Wish for Mistress N

Mistress N, I do not know much about you, but if you are feeling frustrated tonight, perhaps hassled by technology, family, and business, just remember that you *could*, if you so choose, call and send me helplessly but willingly into that deep relaxation, my Mistress of Nirvana. You probably won't, and for various reasons it may be that you should not, but you should know that you could, and you should end the day with some comfort knowing that. If the complexities of life pester you, just remember what you did today, and smile secretly.

0 Comments:

The Mistress of Nirvana

Mistress N called me today and we arranged a time about 45 minutes later when I would be in a safe alone place. Oddly, her voice is distinctly different in this non hypnotic mode and my reactions were pretty normal.

I arrived a few minutes early and found myself “buzzing” in anticipation of her call.

When she called she first confirmed that it was safe. Then she made that small but distinctive voice shift and I was IMMEDIATELY affected, she had my mind swirling within two seconds, first from the reaction, then from analyzing the reaction, then from . . .

She is the Mistress of Nirvana.

(I’m starting to buzz as I write this.)

I can’t assemble a timeline of what she said to me, or even all that she said. I don’t think I was all that “Mistessy” in my responses, but I was gone, my voice quite soft and slow. There was some counting down, but I did not get that far before fading out. I think she took me deep, and the phrase “deeper” is echoing in my mind as I write this, mostly in my voice but also in hers.

Somewhere in there she gave me a reminder of her I can use today where a certain position of my hands will cause me to reflect on her. I tried it =briefly= at work, briefly because I have to fight to keep my eyes open when doing it.

She also gave me a sequence that would more or less result in a semi-trance briefly at lunch, but I had a lunch on the run that did not allow for the prerequisite events to occur. Too bad, I would have enjoyed the hypnotic interlude.

When she brought me out I felt much lighter in mind. The sad memories that had dominated my weekend are still with me and will be forever, but they were not the dominant factor in my day. Normally I would have taken today off but did not because I’ve been working long and hard to get this time slot with these particular people. I probably would have done ok on my own, I normally do, but Mistress N’s call made it easy. Actually, I had a good burst of creativity and assembled a much better presentation than we had available up to that point, and I certainly was alert and peppy for the presentation. This would not have been a good day for me for doom and gloom.

Thank you, Mistress N, for helping me with this today.

Thank you, my supreme Mistress X, for being the catalyst by which all this has happened.

0 Comments:

Am I being conditioned?

I have three hearted ladies hypnotizing me on a very regular basis.

I wonder if and how my hypnotic responses are changing?

Mistress X calls me Deep Trancer, and thus my online name. How much deeper and how much more easily am I going? If you compare the first session to my last with Mistress X, I'm definitely getting affected more profoundly.

Now add the other Mistresses. My experiences with Mistress B have not interfered with my experiences with Mistress X, quite the contrary. Mistress N seems to have found no trouble getting into my mind and my reaction to her today was immediate.

The differences in styles is interesting, at least to the degree I can bring myself to think about it (My mind seems to want to drift away when I try.) Any "immunity" I might build up from getting to used to one style, from anticipating what will happen next, is torn down by a different surprising style. I think each leaves me more receptive to the next.

We will see.

=====

Well, I definitely give these nice ladies an outlet for any suppressed controlling sides, and I'm loving it.

0 Comments:

Too much hypnofun?

Mistress X said
Could you EVER imagine you would have too much hypnosis fun?!!!

Like that country song says, there just is no such thing as too much hypnosis fun.


Thank you, Mistress X, for making my waking life a walking hypnodream.

0 Comments:

Unfair!

This weekend was the anniversary of a difficult life event. Mistress X knew it and asked

Do you need me to call you tomorrow for a little fun? It could be someone else, too, if you would rather...

My response:

Unfair! You are always fun, but how could I say "no" to somebody else?
Any would work, any would be relieving. Whatever you think best, My Main Mistress.

So, I ended up being called by Mistress N . . .

0 Comments:

A shocking question

Mistress X asked a shocking question regarding my now having so many Mistresses

"I hope that doesn't dilute the excitement"

I am not shocked that she asked it, but I imaging that many of my readers, at least those who resonate with me, are in a shock of disbelief. Let me make a stab at our common answer.

You must be kidding!




I might like to leave it at that, but one purpose of this blog is to communicate the viewpoint of those like me so I will try to explain.

First, let's try an analogy

Imagine that you have been on very tight water rationing your entire life, never getting as much as you wanted, often getting none at all, and being afraid to even ask. Then somebody shows you the Mississippi river and then apologizes for diluting the excitement.

I have never heard of somebody who has had an abundance of this great gift. I have heard of people getting it, maybe even getting enough of it, from one person or two, but it has been a very rare and very hard to find resource and even those who have access to it know that their access is fragile and possibly temporary.

If I had read this story in somebody else's blog I'd be totally envious, probably losing sleep thinking about it, checking the blog frequently, wishing I could somehow get it. I would also see it as a bit of hope, that if it happened over there maybe something like it could also happen to me.

As Mistress N has commented, part of the excitement is the mystery. I've explained why I like surprises. What could be more mysterious and unpredictably surprising than having multiple Mistresses?

I was going to say "maybe it is a guy thing" but that is not quite right. There is one factor, however, that while it does not apply to me might apply to other guys. This is the danger that the guy might read or make more of the relationship than it is, that they might fixate and try to cross boundaries. Starving people fixate on food and on their food supplier. Having more than one supply makes it easier to maintain prospective.

So, it dilutes the starvation, but it does not dilute the excitement.

What it might dilute is the intensity of the interaction between any two of the parties. However, so far I find that having multiple sources has intensified my reactions. Getting zapped by Mistress B has not reduced in the slightest my appreciation and intensity of involvement in my dealings with you, Mistress X, and my time with Mistress B has been getting more intense over time, as has my interaction with you.

There must be a limit but how that limit expresses itself is not known to me. I would like to try to imagine what having hundreds of Mistresses would mean, but I cannot. I'm just coming to terms with having a reliable one, then two! Now a third has entered, but just once so far, and a forth is due. I am having a hard enough time imagining dealing with what I have and will have to come to terms with it before I can speculate as to what the limit might be.

In practice, the limit is probably imposed by logistics.

There is also, I am amazed to find, a saturation point, a time when there is enough hypnosis in your life. A person starved their entire life would be amazed the first time they felt the odd feeling of having a full belly. That same person after an extended eating binge might find that they reach a steady state where their diet is normal and they are content. You have given a long time starving person a buffet, of course they are excited.


Here is a dream I could have had before meeting you, Mistress X.

Wouldn't it be nice to look over the set of available therapeutic hypnotists, read their backgrounds, read their trainings, read their blogs, basically try to learn what sort of people they are. Then wouldn't it be nice to simply book a session and go in and get a fix for this kink? Of course it will never be quite that simple, but it would be nice to be able to walk into any "normal" hypnotherapists office and feel comfortable asking for this.

You have no idea how many therapists I've read up on, scanning all they have made publicly available, trying to infer if there is any chance that they might be supportive of this, if they might be willing to help.

Ok resonating readers, wouldn't you like to be able to walk into any reputable therapists office and be able to ask for this, just as you might ask for help with weight control or smoking?

Let me ask another question of my readers, one that I don't expect to get answered but if it did it would be reveiling:

• What theraputic hypnotists have you thought about approaching for this need, and what was it about them that made you consider them?

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