Nirvanic Dreams
4/12/2005
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Last night Mistress N called around 11:00. We had a few businessish things to discuss but she then shifted voice tones and demanded my attention and relaxation, both of which she got automatically. She took me down quickly and soon my world was only her words and my relaxation.
Everything is a bit foggy as so often seems to be the case. I think she enhanced my submittal to her every command and the instant and automatic nature of my going under for her. She told me something about being in my car today and remembering or thinking of the trances and relaxation. She also instructed me that as soon as my head hit the pillow that I'd go into a trance thinking of submitting to her and would fall asleep dreaming of this. It was unclear if I would dream about this all night.
When she counted me up there was momentary disoriented, a shaking of my head, as I climbed out of the mental well I had been in.
===
In the mourning preparation and rush I did not think much about last night. However as soon as I started my car I started thinking about the session, about how nice it is to submit to her, to do whatever she tells me, to relax into her words and it felt good to think these things. I was sort of mentally composing this post thinking about it and it was not until I was almost at work that I realized ** I was acting on one of her triggers! **
Post-hypnotic behavior is odd and fascinating. You are doing it, and if asked you might realize that you are doing it because of the hypnosis, but it does not occur to you to ask, you just do it. It is as if all the thinking about if you were going to do it and why has already occurred, your doing it is a "done deal", a decision that you already made and do not need to think about again.
So I get out of my car and start to enter work mode, planning what I must do this AM, etc. I was no longer thinking of being hypnotized or of Mistress N when I pressed the remote key lock. *Wham*, the thoughts are back. I actually did a small stagger as my coordination was momentarily messed up by the flood of thoughts. I looked around and there was some lady about 20 feet behind me looking at me with minor curiosity and my thought was wondering what she would think if she knew why I had staggered, if she knew what memories I was having, if she knew that I had submitted to the womanly Mistress N's control. Would she want this in her life? We'll never know, but I think that it is likely that she will never know what she is missing.
===
The going to bed trance probably did not start quite the way Mistress N wanted. I still had administrative things to do after my head had touched the pillow such as turning off the TV and lights and had to fight the wave of going under that tried to happen on the first touch. After I was ready I tried to think that this was when my head was *really* hitting the pillow and that had some effect but not nearly as strong as the earlier wave.
I like what Mistress N tried, falling asleep while hyponotized and reflecting on one of these experiences is perfect. What might work better would be some more explicit trigger, maybe have me think something like "N is my Mistress", "Mistress N makes me relax", or "I submit to Mistress N" as the key to kick off the trance that will lead to sleep.
I do know that as I fell asleep I thought a lot about Mistress N, hearing her voice, being in her control, and imagining what it might be like to submit to her person to person. I don't know if I was hypnotized during this ... well maybe I do know as I'm pretty sure that during this if she had somehow magically appeared and told me to do something, or if her voice spoke out that I would have simply and unquestionable done it. So maybe I was hypnotized, but it is not the same without an active driver. Maybe one of these times she can try giving me a specific scenario to envision.
I don't know if I dreamed of hypnosis related things during the night. I rarely remember my dreams, and I don't remember dreaming of anything else and I do have an impression of in the night of feeling the comfort of having let go into a trusted persons control.
Everything is a bit foggy as so often seems to be the case. I think she enhanced my submittal to her every command and the instant and automatic nature of my going under for her. She told me something about being in my car today and remembering or thinking of the trances and relaxation. She also instructed me that as soon as my head hit the pillow that I'd go into a trance thinking of submitting to her and would fall asleep dreaming of this. It was unclear if I would dream about this all night.
When she counted me up there was momentary disoriented, a shaking of my head, as I climbed out of the mental well I had been in.
===
In the mourning preparation and rush I did not think much about last night. However as soon as I started my car I started thinking about the session, about how nice it is to submit to her, to do whatever she tells me, to relax into her words and it felt good to think these things. I was sort of mentally composing this post thinking about it and it was not until I was almost at work that I realized ** I was acting on one of her triggers! **
Post-hypnotic behavior is odd and fascinating. You are doing it, and if asked you might realize that you are doing it because of the hypnosis, but it does not occur to you to ask, you just do it. It is as if all the thinking about if you were going to do it and why has already occurred, your doing it is a "done deal", a decision that you already made and do not need to think about again.
So I get out of my car and start to enter work mode, planning what I must do this AM, etc. I was no longer thinking of being hypnotized or of Mistress N when I pressed the remote key lock. *Wham*, the thoughts are back. I actually did a small stagger as my coordination was momentarily messed up by the flood of thoughts. I looked around and there was some lady about 20 feet behind me looking at me with minor curiosity and my thought was wondering what she would think if she knew why I had staggered, if she knew what memories I was having, if she knew that I had submitted to the womanly Mistress N's control. Would she want this in her life? We'll never know, but I think that it is likely that she will never know what she is missing.
===
The going to bed trance probably did not start quite the way Mistress N wanted. I still had administrative things to do after my head had touched the pillow such as turning off the TV and lights and had to fight the wave of going under that tried to happen on the first touch. After I was ready I tried to think that this was when my head was *really* hitting the pillow and that had some effect but not nearly as strong as the earlier wave.
I like what Mistress N tried, falling asleep while hyponotized and reflecting on one of these experiences is perfect. What might work better would be some more explicit trigger, maybe have me think something like "N is my Mistress", "Mistress N makes me relax", or "I submit to Mistress N" as the key to kick off the trance that will lead to sleep.
I do know that as I fell asleep I thought a lot about Mistress N, hearing her voice, being in her control, and imagining what it might be like to submit to her person to person. I don't know if I was hypnotized during this ... well maybe I do know as I'm pretty sure that during this if she had somehow magically appeared and told me to do something, or if her voice spoke out that I would have simply and unquestionable done it. So maybe I was hypnotized, but it is not the same without an active driver. Maybe one of these times she can try giving me a specific scenario to envision.
I don't know if I dreamed of hypnosis related things during the night. I rarely remember my dreams, and I don't remember dreaming of anything else and I do have an impression of in the night of feeling the comfort of having let go into a trusted persons control.
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