Pendulumized Singing Dream Massage
4/30/2005
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This is a log of a session with Goddess X.
I tranced at her door, but we had some other business to discuss so she halted this so she could have my normal attention.
When it was time to be hypnotized and as she turned off her phone ringer it rang at decreasing volumes and I took this decrease as a sign of a start of relaxation. Its odd, as she has never discussed this but I seem to have made some association between this frequent start of session activity and starting to go.
I started in the table with her at my head and she started with a pendulum sort of like the picture in this blog (which is not us, by the way, I'd never put a real picture in here). The pendulum swinging is not back and forth; it is more circular and random. I faded away as commanded. I think she also used forehead touches.
She used the pendulum again and I followed it more mechanically, following it through each arc rather than letting it swing in my general field of view. My thoughts were probably mechanical as well. When it moved away my eyes closed and I fell deeper into surrender this was repeated a few times and during these times were suggestions that I was hers, that I was surrendered, that I was content to be hers, that I was hers no matter what. Basically reestablishing and deepening our relative roles, which was and is just fine with me.
She did the eye test thing, describing and suggesting that I cannot open my eyes but I should try. I did not open them enough to see anything, but I think she suspected I was not being affected to the degree she wanted as she came back much more firmly. I had some internal distress because I was wanting to comply, subjectively seemed to be complying, and she was not happy. I suspect it was just a matter of her perspective because on the retest she had moved and seemed satisfied. However, I had a taste of her reaction if I had been resisting she can be quite compelling when she wants to be!
There were probably more suggestions about wanting to please her, about her being a goddess, about wanting to comply with her suggestions, and she would take care of me while I was in that state.
She had me stand up, arms outstretched forward, then up, then limp, etc.
She them became the second person this week to demonstrate that I cannot sing while in trance as I found myself on my knees before her in her chair trying to sing to my goddess mistress. I just cannot seem to be able to muster the mental horsepower to compose on the fly. I basically sang in a near monotone of her being my Goddess Mistress, of my being happy with that, of wanting to serve. I had enough self awareness to realize that this was one of "those" sorts of silly hypnotic things, but that realization did not stop me. I meant what I was saying.
Found myself back on the bed. I don't remember what I did there.
Moved to a chair, she did another of those envisioning something on my hand held in front of my face. I got at best general impressions of images. I think she might be working on getting me to be a better dreamer, maybe in conjunction with Goddess B.
She had me envision a massage session with Goddess B, running through it a few times on an accelerated timetable. It is not nearly the same as being with Goddess B but something was happening my muscles were twitching and responding involuntarily. This surprises me as I am on the very low end of the hypnotic scale with regard to dream involvement. Dreams just are not that real to me, but those muscles were doing something anyway.
Well, I came in agitated, but still went under and responded to everything she told me with levels both conscious and otherwise, and left with the agitation gone and some nice times to blog.
She is the most surprising Goddess/Mistress. I have no idea what is in store for me next, but it has all been good. Someday I'll ask her how much she is surprising herself.
I tranced at her door, but we had some other business to discuss so she halted this so she could have my normal attention.
When it was time to be hypnotized and as she turned off her phone ringer it rang at decreasing volumes and I took this decrease as a sign of a start of relaxation. Its odd, as she has never discussed this but I seem to have made some association between this frequent start of session activity and starting to go.
I started in the table with her at my head and she started with a pendulum sort of like the picture in this blog (which is not us, by the way, I'd never put a real picture in here). The pendulum swinging is not back and forth; it is more circular and random. I faded away as commanded. I think she also used forehead touches.
She used the pendulum again and I followed it more mechanically, following it through each arc rather than letting it swing in my general field of view. My thoughts were probably mechanical as well. When it moved away my eyes closed and I fell deeper into surrender this was repeated a few times and during these times were suggestions that I was hers, that I was surrendered, that I was content to be hers, that I was hers no matter what. Basically reestablishing and deepening our relative roles, which was and is just fine with me.
She did the eye test thing, describing and suggesting that I cannot open my eyes but I should try. I did not open them enough to see anything, but I think she suspected I was not being affected to the degree she wanted as she came back much more firmly. I had some internal distress because I was wanting to comply, subjectively seemed to be complying, and she was not happy. I suspect it was just a matter of her perspective because on the retest she had moved and seemed satisfied. However, I had a taste of her reaction if I had been resisting she can be quite compelling when she wants to be!
There were probably more suggestions about wanting to please her, about her being a goddess, about wanting to comply with her suggestions, and she would take care of me while I was in that state.
She had me stand up, arms outstretched forward, then up, then limp, etc.
She them became the second person this week to demonstrate that I cannot sing while in trance as I found myself on my knees before her in her chair trying to sing to my goddess mistress. I just cannot seem to be able to muster the mental horsepower to compose on the fly. I basically sang in a near monotone of her being my Goddess Mistress, of my being happy with that, of wanting to serve. I had enough self awareness to realize that this was one of "those" sorts of silly hypnotic things, but that realization did not stop me. I meant what I was saying.
Found myself back on the bed. I don't remember what I did there.
Moved to a chair, she did another of those envisioning something on my hand held in front of my face. I got at best general impressions of images. I think she might be working on getting me to be a better dreamer, maybe in conjunction with Goddess B.
She had me envision a massage session with Goddess B, running through it a few times on an accelerated timetable. It is not nearly the same as being with Goddess B but something was happening my muscles were twitching and responding involuntarily. This surprises me as I am on the very low end of the hypnotic scale with regard to dream involvement. Dreams just are not that real to me, but those muscles were doing something anyway.
Well, I came in agitated, but still went under and responded to everything she told me with levels both conscious and otherwise, and left with the agitation gone and some nice times to blog.
She is the most surprising Goddess/Mistress. I have no idea what is in store for me next, but it has all been good. Someday I'll ask her how much she is surprising herself.
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