Emergence of a Goddess
4/07/2005
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Mistress X was dressed a bit differently today, in business skirt and blouse, almost as if attending some city event. I asked her about it and she said she was planning to take it to the next level. (?)
In that instantly hypnotizing voice of hers she told me she wanted to be called (then she paused, perhaps wondering if she was really going to do it) “Goddess Mistress”. She then had me kiss her hand and I somehow ended up eyes closed, under, and being repositioned into this rocking chair that faces her. She must have triggered me, but I do not remember it. It all happened very quicky, it was probably less than three minutes between the time I entered her door, did smalltalk on the way to her studio, called her Goddess Mistress, and finally found myself in that chair, limp, "gone, gone, gone" as she says, and totally tied into her words and directions.
She took me deep in that ever so effective way of hers using deepenings that I don’t really remember, they are just old friends to me by now. Actually I am not sure if she needed to apply deepenings, I may have just gone there based on her presence and habit. The she talked of reaching a new level of surrender, a more profound level, one that would exist just between her and I, and by various symbolisms and other things that are pretty lost to me she somehow got me there. Then being the good hypnotist she was she planted a new trigger she can use to return me to it.
The gist of what happened is a full establishment of the Mistress relationship. It is odd to think that it was just two weeks ago that I first used that term. She seems to have found the role comfortable, probably very comfortable, and so have I, especially after her hypnotic conditioning. She is now past the last of the cautious therapist and is just willing to play with and have fun with her power, and I am quite glad to be there. It is so simple!
It is important to note that none of this negates any previous comment in any of these blog entries. She is simply fully using her influence, but the dark stuff is not there and will not be there. The relationship is not any more than it used to be and still excludes what it always excluded, what has changed is a full mutual acceptance of the Mistress thing, or maybe I should say the Goddess Mistress thing.
The timeline and sequence of events is extremely fussy. Some things I do remember are the following
Her fiddling with what terms to describe us. Is she my Goddess Mistress, my Queen Mistress, or ???, and what am I (not a slave or a servant, but definitely submissive and her hypnotic subject).
Her asking if she had hit any of my boundaries yet. A quick mental check and it was clear – no, she hadn’t. I was feeling quite comfortable with the whole thing. It wasn't what I expected, but I have invited her to surprize me and she did.
Watching her wave her hand, wanting to kiss it again, and instead being sent to eyes closed slumped state. Again gone, gone, gone as she so aptly described, but with a few more “gone”s thrown in. At one point I was listening to her and adding “yes, Goddess Mistress” affirmations that probably did not make it to my mouth or vocal cords but were there none the less.
Some clear establishment that she is the Alpha Mistress, the prime one. This seemed right to me, she is the source and gatekeeper of all my hypnofun.
She said something about forgetting who I am, and I pretty much did. I lost my self image and let it be replaced by the one she was painting. I was still me, but I lost all context and the world she was presenting was it for me.
A focus on wanting to please her, to make her happy.
Some asking of how I was feeling in my body, if there was anything I wanted to do. These sorts of questions are hard to answer, both because I’m not thinking, and because I try to respect her boundaries. Any thought that seems close to crossing one of her boundaries is bothersome to me and my mind turns away from it.
Lots of time with my eyes opened talking to her. I really not sure all that was said.
==========
Well, she asked for and I gave a much deeper level of surrender. I was past mindless selfless Nirvana and into selfless attention to her, to her commands, to her wishes. I had no worries about if my needs would be meet, I trusted that she would take care of those so I forgot about them, and instead turned to selfless serving of her. I was glad to just be there and to have her as my Goddess Mistress, to want to please her, to make her happy. I'll take care of her and she'll take care of me.
I see it as some sort of emergence from a cocoon. She is coming to terms with having this influence, with using it, with having fun with it, and that it is not a risk to her or to I. She started as a conventional hypnotherapist bound by the silk of hypnosis community teachings, and has emerged transformed, but with all of her original self still intact.
I’m quite ok with it. A bit disoriented perhaps, hypno-drunk, but content. I have no idea where it will lead, and I don’t think she does either, but we will find out.
In that instantly hypnotizing voice of hers she told me she wanted to be called (then she paused, perhaps wondering if she was really going to do it) “Goddess Mistress”. She then had me kiss her hand and I somehow ended up eyes closed, under, and being repositioned into this rocking chair that faces her. She must have triggered me, but I do not remember it. It all happened very quicky, it was probably less than three minutes between the time I entered her door, did smalltalk on the way to her studio, called her Goddess Mistress, and finally found myself in that chair, limp, "gone, gone, gone" as she says, and totally tied into her words and directions.
She took me deep in that ever so effective way of hers using deepenings that I don’t really remember, they are just old friends to me by now. Actually I am not sure if she needed to apply deepenings, I may have just gone there based on her presence and habit. The she talked of reaching a new level of surrender, a more profound level, one that would exist just between her and I, and by various symbolisms and other things that are pretty lost to me she somehow got me there. Then being the good hypnotist she was she planted a new trigger she can use to return me to it.
The gist of what happened is a full establishment of the Mistress relationship. It is odd to think that it was just two weeks ago that I first used that term. She seems to have found the role comfortable, probably very comfortable, and so have I, especially after her hypnotic conditioning. She is now past the last of the cautious therapist and is just willing to play with and have fun with her power, and I am quite glad to be there. It is so simple!
It is important to note that none of this negates any previous comment in any of these blog entries. She is simply fully using her influence, but the dark stuff is not there and will not be there. The relationship is not any more than it used to be and still excludes what it always excluded, what has changed is a full mutual acceptance of the Mistress thing, or maybe I should say the Goddess Mistress thing.
The timeline and sequence of events is extremely fussy. Some things I do remember are the following
Her fiddling with what terms to describe us. Is she my Goddess Mistress, my Queen Mistress, or ???, and what am I (not a slave or a servant, but definitely submissive and her hypnotic subject).
Her asking if she had hit any of my boundaries yet. A quick mental check and it was clear – no, she hadn’t. I was feeling quite comfortable with the whole thing. It wasn't what I expected, but I have invited her to surprize me and she did.
Watching her wave her hand, wanting to kiss it again, and instead being sent to eyes closed slumped state. Again gone, gone, gone as she so aptly described, but with a few more “gone”s thrown in. At one point I was listening to her and adding “yes, Goddess Mistress” affirmations that probably did not make it to my mouth or vocal cords but were there none the less.
Some clear establishment that she is the Alpha Mistress, the prime one. This seemed right to me, she is the source and gatekeeper of all my hypnofun.
She said something about forgetting who I am, and I pretty much did. I lost my self image and let it be replaced by the one she was painting. I was still me, but I lost all context and the world she was presenting was it for me.
A focus on wanting to please her, to make her happy.
Some asking of how I was feeling in my body, if there was anything I wanted to do. These sorts of questions are hard to answer, both because I’m not thinking, and because I try to respect her boundaries. Any thought that seems close to crossing one of her boundaries is bothersome to me and my mind turns away from it.
Lots of time with my eyes opened talking to her. I really not sure all that was said.
==========
Well, she asked for and I gave a much deeper level of surrender. I was past mindless selfless Nirvana and into selfless attention to her, to her commands, to her wishes. I had no worries about if my needs would be meet, I trusted that she would take care of those so I forgot about them, and instead turned to selfless serving of her. I was glad to just be there and to have her as my Goddess Mistress, to want to please her, to make her happy. I'll take care of her and she'll take care of me.
I see it as some sort of emergence from a cocoon. She is coming to terms with having this influence, with using it, with having fun with it, and that it is not a risk to her or to I. She started as a conventional hypnotherapist bound by the silk of hypnosis community teachings, and has emerged transformed, but with all of her original self still intact.
I’m quite ok with it. A bit disoriented perhaps, hypno-drunk, but content. I have no idea where it will lead, and I don’t think she does either, but we will find out.
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