Complexities of Multiple Mistresses

It has been some time since I've blogged, but things are still proceeding much as they were with multiple hypnosis sessions per week. The same Mistresses are still active and the main limitation is my schedule. Goddess X and Goddess N have even combined into joint sessions on those weeks where I could not take enough time away to experience each separately. (Well, they also had a joint project, but that is another story.) They have missed my blog and we tease each other about what might motivate me to resume posting. We will see how long it takes them to notice this posting.

There is some light hearted competition/rivalry between the Mistresses. For example, there might be a passing comment to the effect of "she did that with you" or "you did that for her"? Some of this also results from some unblogged services I provide to the Mistresses where one sees what the other is using and wants the same. In many cases, I'll direct attention to what one is using when I think the others could benefit from it also.

What does not often come up is any sort of "who do you like more" comparison, although I suspect I'd have their rapt attention if I said anything in that area. The "Red Roses, Yellow Roses" statement inspired by Mistress N says it well -- they are different flavors but I like them all the same.

Sometimes, however, I am forced to choose, and that gets tricky. Recently, I needed to put down two references for the sort of services I provide to the Mistresses. Two references only, and I have more than three Mistresses. I chose solely based on closeness of match to the needs of the entity to which the references were being supplied, but I did get a "why didn't you chose me" reaction.

Managing multiple Mistresses is a marvelously mangled mode.

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Once again, I thank Goddess X, my provider of all things hypnotic, for enabling all of this. It is one thing to approach a therapeutic hypnotist and to ask for this sort of interaction (remember, it is non-sexual), it is a joy to find one that will provide it, but to find one that arranged so many others? And others that have stayed involved? (Each of my Mistresses have now been involved for over a year and nobody has ever gotten involved and then left.) Miracles do happen. It is a good thing I asked or this miracle would have remained undiscovered. Blog readers -- have you asked?

1 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

NOTICED

5/05/2006 12:06 AM  

The Hypnotic Stewardess

In my first session this year with Goddess X she once again surprised me and in so doing proved that she is indeed my provider of all things hypnotic. We started with our normal catch up chitchat but she was not as relaxed as she generally is. Well, this is because she was working to a schedule because a few minutes into things her door chimed and she told me it was going to be for me. I was not expecting this but quickly speculated that it might be Goddess B or N, but it was a lady I had never before seen.

A lady who was trying to issue my R trigger as her first words to me. Well, that trigger is a not uncommon phrase I hear now and then outside of a hypnotic context (I'm tuned to notice it) and to me that trigger is bound to only the Goddess who implanted it. Without really thinking and while still trying to figure out this twist of events, I blurted out something like "It does not work for you". Goddess X gave me this lady's name and I quickly tried and failed to associate it with one of her known associates or one of those she has proposed as a possible new Mistress should I ever lose one. I later learned that this lady was a flight attendant friend of Goddess X who had been told of my submissive streak and who had a longtime unresolved curiosity about hypnosis.

Boy, I thought my last year was hypno charged, but Goddess X starts this year off introducing a stewardess with an interest in being in control. I live a hypno blessed life.

(Note: Two days later when I mentioned this to Goddess N near the start of a session, her reaction was a somewhat incredulous "for real?" I had mentioned it because what Goddess N was about to try to do would have been one of those odd synchronicities that seem to happened unplanned between Goddess X and Goddess N.)

Back in her studio, Goddess X induced a trance with one of the triggers and the stewardess started with in with orders – not suggestions, but orders, with a literal "I order you to …". I did comply with all she asked but it was clear that she was inexperienced with the tempo and build up of hypnotic suggestions. (Her inexperience is completely understandable, given that this was her first experience.) You can't just tell somebody that their arm is as heavy as lead and have it take immediate effect. Actually, with me in Goddess X's studio, you can, she did, and it did take immediate effect, but this was more of a residual of prior experiences with Goddess X than from the input of the moment. Generally the hypnotist would need to build up the image and sensation of a heavy arm for it to be effective. Unfortunately, because of the time pressure, Goddess X was not able to demonstrate how a hypnotic trance is induced or how suggestions are implanted and the session relied on previously implanted triggers and hypnotic associations. That said, I was surprised how much effect some of these suggestions did have on me.

The stewardess had brought in a list of hypnotic things she wanted to try. Many of them depended on my accepting an alternative reality (such as my being a store clerk or speaking to a political figure) and this is my relatively weakest aspect of hypnotic response, and any alternative reality would have to be built up and reinforced and not just quickly imposed. I'm very good at letting go and letting somebody else drive for a while, but I'm not good at filling in the passing scenery just from suggestion. Some of the suggestions probably had a different reaction than might have been expected. For example, even it I thought I was somebody else, somebody else tranced out in front of Goddess X would not, in my expectation, behave much differently than I do, so I would not act much differently due to accepting that role.

At the end, Goddess X deepened me a bit and gave me suggestions that I would respond to this stewardess and obey her if ever I encountered her again. I found myself welcoming these instructions and thankful that I had been given them. Even as I write this, I get a strong feeling that if I were contacted by this stewardess that I'd work to accommodate any request for a meeting, and once there I'd trance out as soon as asked and with just a few minutes of deepening would find myself once again in that mindless zone of simple unquestioned compliance. She may be inexperienced, but that does not much matter given my depth of practiced experience as I'd quickly show her what works well for me.

I don't know if I'll ever again see this stewardess, and I don't know what was her reaction to this session. What I do know is that 2006 is off to a wild start thanks to the playful and understanding nature of Goddess X, my provider of all things hypnotic.

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One Year Later

It has been a year and a week since my first session with the lady who over the course of the year became Mistress X and then Goddess X and who so understood the nature of this submissive need and that it could be perused within boundaries that she introduced me to multiple others who also became my Mistresses and Goddesses.

I've had some discussion in this blog and in some egroups about the nature and ethics of such relationships. To me, the only ethical issue is the secret I am keeping from my wife, but this is the consequence of the blend of my need for this and of her freaking out on the idea that I might have a need for this.

What seems most unusual about my story is that every one of my Mistresses and Goddesses are conventional therapists who are not and have never been into providing any sort of sexual services and who have no experience with the classic and dark D/S scene. Some seem to assert that such relationships are somehow forbidden with a conventional therapist, and some have asserted that I've somehow tricked them. What I've not heard is any explanation of how something unethical or tricky could be so substainably successful with multiple people. Some facts:

• I am having these interactions weekly with more than 3 conventional therapists. (Some are not blogged.)
• Each one knows of each of the others, and some communicate with each other.
• Each one reads this blog.
• The success rate at getting another involved is 100% once they get a clear explanation of what is and is not involved
• Every one who got involved is still involved -- nobody has dropped out, and all have been involved on a weekly basis for at least 6 months.

With this level of sustained involvement it seems clear that there can be no tricks involved as no trick could survive such scrutiny.

I have slowed down on my level of blogging lately. I thought I might catch up over Christmas, but just haven't had the urge. The intensities of the hypnotic interactions are sometimes lessening, but that may be that the parched man long in the desert finally found an oasis and drank fully. 150+ trances can do that.

What a hypnotic year 2005 was!

I don't think I will ever have a year like it. For one thing, my schedule will just not allow it. I never would have dreamed before Dec 23, 2004 that my biggest hypnofun access issue would be fitting in all of my Goddesses. I would not have even dreamed of having more than one source. Even if I had the same amount of interaction, I could not manage the same amount of discoveries and wonder, not to mention that I doing the previously unconceivable act of telling my deepest secret to the world. I even doubt that I'll ever hear a credible story of anybody else having a year like this one was.

Am I really "Deep Trancer" -- that guy living this fantastic hypno story? Somehow it seems that I am but the story is so fantastic that even to me "Deep Trancer" sometimes seems like an alternative identity. (My Goddesses generally use my real name, BTW.)

Are you "Deep Trancer"? -- Unfortunately not, but, fortunately, you could be. Of all of my Mistresses, only Goddess N is contactable and that is only for phone sessions. However, the real inspiration to my story is that my sort of experiences are available to all without having to get into the darkness of the D/S world. Conventional therapists, at least many of them, will get involved in such activities if you ask nicely and if you don't push their boundaries. It is not just Goddess X and those she speaks with -- I've had extended success prior to Goddess X with several others. (But none granted me access to hypno saturation like Goddess X did -- she's rather unique.)

Think of it like the first time you asked a girl out -- it is intimidating and scary and carries a good risk of rejection, but it was an essential first step to an elusive goal. If you've been reading my blog with envy, let me propose a New Year's resolution for you -- pick a conventional therapist, book an appointment, an ask her. Who knows, maybe she will turn out to be one of my Mistresses, or maybe you will start her explorations. Just do it.

---

Thank you, each of my Goddesses, for this fantastic year. Extra thanks to Goddess X, my gatekeeper of all things hypnotic, for making my wildest hypnotic dreams be dwarfed by the reality you enabled.
-- Deep Trancer

1 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

We all need to thank Mistress X for the role she played in getting us all together. She has a fearless personality and has expanding our views and understandings.

Deep Trancer- it has been an interesting experience to say the least! In order for a conventional hypnotherapist to be willing to go into this area we must know that the boundaries are clear and will be respected.

I do hope that you have not been super saturated in your oasis in the desert.

1/01/2006 8:17 PM  

Back to Goddess X Basics

Had a nice session with Goddess X.

She asked at some length about if I was getting what I needed out of my various and combined hypnotic relationships. (She has previously pointed out that I do not often express my needs, and it is true that I have always been uncomfortable doing this.) She pointed out that I had come as a submissive but our relationship is many leveled and quite complex. It is not what it was at its most extreme moments of submissive/dominance and she wants to know if I am still getting what I am seeking

My comments are that I have such a wide appetite, and I'm sitting at a pretty big cafeteria, getting tranced or other forms hypnofun 3+ times a week. Each relationship has its own cycles, and what I might not be getting from one I may be getting from another. For example, while I may have been the one trancing Goddess N the last few times, Goddess B has been getting more assertively controlling. Also, the balance of activities between Goddess N and myself will swing back in a natural cycle. I've had lots of time to satiate my appetite. (How lucky I am to have multiple sources.)

She also noticed that I seemed much more relaxed now that that family issue of mine has resolved, that I'm looking younger, am happy and smiling, and she is correct about these as well.

This was a back to basics session, where she went back to the roots of our hypnotic relationship. She triggered me, had me reposition (uncross legs, put arms down, etc) and begin one of her comforting inductions. She directed my imagery back to one of the comforting beach spots I've used before, directing my awareness into and away from my body. It is hard to iterate all of the things she did, but the trance had the "feel" of some of our earlier trances, without some of the bells, distractions, and side directions of some of the recent ones. Just a nice peaceful state.

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My thoughts on Cary's The Gift

Cary did an excellent job capturing the essence of some parts of this experience – the yearning, the longing, the drifting dreams, the growing desire to please, and the quite surprising to some resultant effect of being stronger and more free.

Hiding a deep part of oneself is restrictive and overbearing. As I write this, I realize that it has been probably more than half a year since I used the phrase "Monkey on my back" to describe the oppressive feeling, and this is probably because it has been longer than that since I've felt it.

Thank you, my many mistresses, for banishing this monkey and freeing me.

Thanks to Cary for creating and sharing this gift.

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Welcome "Cary"

I've been in occasional correspondence with "Cary", somebody who was interested in the activities described in this blog and who wanted to participate. I put him in contact with Mistress N and offered information about what might and might not happen and about her prior experience. He has had multiple sessions with her, I don't know the exact number and have not asked, and previously submitted the entry I logged as "A New Submission".

Because of his ongoing interactions of a nature interesting to readers of this blog, I've extended an invite for Cary to join this blog as an author, meaning he can post new articles directly. Besides the interesting reading, I'm hoping he will find the release of sharing his secret, even if from a pseudonym, as freeing and enabling as it has been for me.

P.S. (J & P: you're welcome to join also)

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Catching up

I'd gone silent in the blog for about a month, but activities continued. I've made a bunch of catch up posts, most not as detailed as usual but they at least still give a feel for the progression. I suggest reading from 10/21 onward. I'll probably fill in more later.

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Hypno Tinkling

Today Goddess X played with her tinkler in her bathroom. We had started the session talking about recordings, microphones, background hum and white noise all in conjunction with some new recordings she wants to make. A few tests showed a persistent hum and we thought it might be that the smarts in the machine was turning up the sensitivity during the pauses trying to catch sounds that were not there. To fix this we decided to try adding some background noise by moving a tinkling waterfall from her studio into her more sound proof bathroom.

It was a small contraption to cause the problems it did. Too loud, too soft, motor sound coming through, water level too low, water overflowing onto the floor, spilled rocks, etc. During the sessions I'm always looking for bloggable moments and in particular I look for intriguing blog titles. I joked with Goddess X about blogging about her tinkling in the bathroom and she laughed and told me to go ahead. Oh well, at least I did not title it playing with her tinkler.

After the setup fiddling was complete the recording session itself went well with only a small false start. It was a general trance induction for sleep or meditation sort of thing and at the end she gave a choice between two different things. Afterwards I commented that while she had described that there was a choice to be made, she never told them to actually make and execute their choice -- the literal trance logic that hypnosis brings had me with a choice in mind waiting for a chance to exercise it. Trance literalness can be a pain, but it is a frequent aspect of hypnosis and so she re-recorded the ending with an explicit moment where the choice would be applied.

As with the other recording, I was impressed at the care Goddess X took making it. It is not so much the setup of the recording studio but it is rather how natural her voice is, how polished the timing, how integrated are even things like her breathing. They are definitely quality recordings well suited to their purposes.

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Trancing for its own sake

One thing I gripped about early in this blog is the lack of appreciation for trances as beneficial in their own right, that just getting away and relaxing for awhile is a beneficial goal all by itself. Nobody questions when this is the goal of a vacation, and nobody questions when this is the goal of a massage, but for some reason the hypnotherapy community rejects any consideration that this might be a goal of hypnosis. Go to a hypnotherapist and ask to relax and you are likely to be asked what is it that you really want.

Goddess N experienced this revelation herself. She had a lot going on, and just needed to get away. This we accomplished.

She greeted me at the door with an extended hug -- one of those that started normally but which then extended. I think she was glad to see me and needed a hug right then. There is a comfort level between us that is unusual and is in large part a result of the submissive relationship. The bond and trust we have built allows interactions that if done with others would tend to be misinterpreted but with us need no explanation.

We discussed Goddess N injury and its ongoing impact, and how it is aggravating something else. We discussed her recent life event. We discussed some business plans and possible obstacles, and how fear of the obstacles can prevent some starts. It is clear to us that Goddess N is the perfect person for a significant and useful niche, the only question is how best to get her out there. We discussed many other things -- Goddess N has a lot on her mind right now.

It came time to decide what we were going to do today. I had not arrived with any agenda or expectation, but I had developed an impression that she would benefit from a trance even if it had no specific target, and I articulated this. She did an "so, if I had something in particular to work on, you would be willing to trance me" and my counter was that "even if you had nothing in particular to work on, I'd be willing to trance you". (What is it with hypnotherapists that makes them think that hypnosis is so special it can be used only for very narrow and well defined objectives?) I stated that hypnosis by itself has enough benefits to be worth considering. She came up with a few possible particular but broad goals, more than could probably be addressed, and I truly listened and made plans to explore these. However, I knew that I'd see what her tranced self wanted most to explore before deciding which needed to most focus.

Goddess N is always shy about accepting hypnosis. While she may want it, it is a turning of the tables and she does not let herself be hypnotized often by anybody.

The trance induction used many components of our previous sessions but with a slightly more assertive style such as the use of snaps. From the everything is possible state of deep trance we explored some of what we had discussed, encouraging her to see herself getting the outcomes she wanted and using this to build the motivation to get there. What seemed hard when awake seemed easy in trance, practically done in some cases. At one point, she directly asked for a trigger, a "bonk on the head" so to speak to jar her past an identified bad counter productive habit. We also explored some fractionation where she would be brought out for a brief conversation before being placed back in trance. I see this as possibly enabling some more complex explorations where the best of both worlds is alternatively brought to bear.

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Old trances

Goddess X is always seeking to increase her effectiveness and toolkit, and having a willing submissive around can be handy for trying things. She had some writeups from the 60s of hypnotic techniques including some rapid induction methods you have probably never heard of and some other interesting things that have slipped from the general current hypno repertoire. She picked out a few and decided to use me to see how they worked.

It is completely clear to me why these things are not in the current hypnotic community -- they where so terribly awful as to be humorous. It is not clear if it was that the author knew nothing about hypnosis, that he just could not explain things, or if he was deliberately giving directions doomed to fail, but the net effect was as if all three applied. No imagery or sensation enhancing wording whatsoever, sort of like "look here, now you are smelling an orange, you are now hypnotized" -- it was that bad. She tried some things with posture involving a wall, and all the posture did was make compliance guaranteed to not be there, such as hoping to get an arm to levitate that could not possible levitate because of how it was trapped by the wall.

It did get better as it went on, but only because Goddess X discarded the material and went with her usual finesse. It is odd that when reading the descriptions it is not clear how bad they are, but actually trying it disclosed their true nature.

Hmm, between this and Comic Book Hypnosis, things which claim to teach how to trance have a 0 for 2 record.

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Seeking new levels

PLaceholder entry: Had a session with Godess B shere we sought new levels.

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Limits of Hypnotic Surrender

The Goddesses now all know about some major family turmoil that has recently resolved and while I had not shared with any of them; perhaps they will understand my lessoned levels of involvement with them such as not communicating as much. (Hey, I'm still getting tranced 3+ times a week -- that is not a lessoned level my anybody's standards other than our own.)

The Goddesses had all know of some of the lead-ins to the turmoil but I kept them in the dark as to the actions that were being undertaken until they had already occurred. This was not an issue which trancing me would help, and I did not want any well meaning but off target uninvited assistance. With respect to this part of families, I have more significantly experience than they have and I'm walking some unusual paths.

I'm not filling in the details, and I've kept almost all aspects of myself private including age, region, and profession, so why am I mentioning this at all? It goes to the heart of one of the stated reasons for this blog, to let others understand this sort of hypnotic surrender relationship. This turmoil is worth mentioning both to better understand my recent interactions with the Mistresses and to see if the hypnotic submission was a factor in the turmoil.

I think that all of the Goddesses thought I was withdrawing a bit or hiding something, and I was. (Goddess N might not have noticed, but only because she had a concurrent peak in her personal turmoil.) With regard to this sort of surrendered relationship, it is notable that I could hide a super major thing and that they did not pry. This alone is a major declaration of many things that this submissive relationship is not. Many of the "what if"s that people might suppose can be negated by this observation. They are not in control of my life, I have not surrendered my decision making (outside of trances), I am not dependent on them, and I decide where to draw the line of intrusion into my regular life.

I cannot supply the supporting details, but there is clarity that my submissive relationships did not contribute to the turmoil. The turmoil was not from getting "caught" or anything involving my one on one relationship with my wife, and my time spent in hypnofun did not take me away from contributing positively to the situation. The hypnofun probably kept me calmer and "saner" in a nearly insane situation and allowed me to be a point of stability for others. It would have been a disaster if we had all "lost it". Instead, I was in control, as I usually am and as others expect me to be.

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Goddess N's revelation

Goddess N has a life event coming up about which she had some apprehensions. This seems unrelated to her prior issue -- or at least it did to her. Sometimes a third party can see what the person cannot, and I saw a clear parallel between this and the prior issue. This was a "sit down" sort of observation -- when I shared it she sat down because once mentioned it became clear to her also. The dialog went something like this:

DT: Might this be an expression of something else?
GN: I'm just worried about ...., I've never been worried about something like this
DT: We haven't talked about [rephrase the issue to show the similarity to other one], have we?
GN: Huh?
DT: We haven't [rephrase to make it a bit more clear], have we?
GN: Why should we?
DT: You know, [rephrase to make it absolutely clear]
GN: OH [exclamation deleted]! (sits down), pause, [another soft exclamation], I hadn't even thought of that!
DT: Do you think that could be it?
GN: [definitive affirmation]
DT: [Starts discussing how it is not really the previous situation]

It was clear that this was a hit, and Goddess N had to bring her emotional and reactive reasoning in line with what she intellectually knew was correct. As she said, "this is really an irrational fear". This fear had found a home only because it was the old thing expressing itself in a disguised face.

After a good deal more non-tranced talking, it was clear to both of us that a trance would help Goddess N. This we did, and we explored the event, her knowledge of the reality of it, the outcomes, and how she would feel after it was over. I was confident we had dispelled the dark cloud from the new form, at least for now.

I had to go out of town and would be gone until after the event occurred, so I called in reinforcements -- I sent an email to Goddess X informing her of the revelation and of Goddess N's probably need for reinforcement. She jokingly replied that she hates it when her clients are more intuitive than her. (In reality, it was just that I was just there at the right time). Goddess X offered Goddess N more support but she was feeling much better because of our work and did not need anything. This is not surprising really, because most of the work was done in that "OH " moment -- once the nature of the cloud was revealed, she had the tools she needed to dispel it.

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Do you remember now?

I think the problem in exorcism is not expelling the daemon, it is keeping it from returning to the void it left. I do not mean this litterally, but figuratively with respect to thought cycles that are not benificial to us. You can chase them out, but you need to keep them out and some of this is by filling the void they leave with something positive.

Goddess X's non-hypnosis approach had done a good job displacing what needed to be displaced, but it had not replaced it with anything. I saw some signs in Goddess N of the residual disturbance or of the old pattern reassering itself. I asked a few leading questions and got emotional reactions that told me and told Goddess N that things were still there. I suggested we explore trying to discover and find the positive things we knew of but which she was not yet feeling and try to reenforce them. She shyly agreed that this was a good idea, and after some shifting, settleing, and asking for a tissue we proceeded with trancing her.

This was a bit of an adventure in that we were exploring undiscovered wilderness. I knew the nature of what we could certanly find, but did not know the details, and if Goddess X had the details readily available then there would be no void to fill. The session was one of raising possibilities and seeing what memories and associations emerged. We did find some of what we were seeking -- not a breaking of the dam by any means, but a nice trickle.

Now I can say that I've taken one of my Goddesses to the movies.

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Bathroom Follow-up

I had taken some affirmative professional actions in support of the reason why Goddess X made a recording last week using me as her test subject. It is notably how quickly this was done, and it was probably too quick -- something went from a vague idea to implemented so quickly that it did not undergo the usual refinement cycles, but we did not discover this until later. We spent about an hour going over some of this.

Goddess X noticed some increase in my stuttering and made a comment about the incident with Goddess B. It is true that my stuttering took a jump when I had to reject some misguided family related suggestions from Goddess B.

Goddess X used a trigger while I was still working, and while I did trance I had an unfinished queue of things to do. I make a good living by having a deeper mental stack than do most people -- I can keep detailed track of more things than most are willing to do. Hypnotherapists, on the other hand, tend to be more on the intuitive live-in-the-instant-don't-complicate-me side. Well, Goddess X lead me to her studio and tried to deepen the trance, but was unsuccessful at this -- a first for her. I make a living by not dropping the ball or losing track of things, and I could not let that unfinished queue just fade away and become things that get dropped and which would cause problems if unaddressed. I could not relax and let go because it was not time to do so, and I just became resentful of the effort to push me there.

She detected this after a bit and brought me out so I could tackle the unfinished business and we then resumed with more success.

I don't remember the details, but the talk and suggestions were mostly related to some reduction in bonding and closeness. As later entries will show, this was not a time for this as I had my as-then unrevealed reasons.

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Goddess X's alternative approach

We had a joint session where the plan was for Goddess X and I to jointly hypnotize Goddess N in conjunction with a specific issue we have been recently exploring. I've commented a few times that it is pretty unpredictable what will occur when the three of us are together and this time was no exception. The issue was as expected, but hypnosis was not the best approach for it and for Goddess X on this day. It is not that Goddess N did not get into hypnosis, it was that Goddess X determined (accurately) that another of her modularities would work better.

I was aware of Goddess X's expertise in this modularity but it was not one that I find appealing and it was one whose explanation of how it works requires a great suspension of analysis. It was the first time I have seen this modularity used and I was very impressed at how effectively it allowed dealings with intense emotions. Goddess N was clearly helped by it in the manner we had hoped to achieve with hypnosis. I'm left with the conclusion that this alternative modularity has a place, but needs to seek an accurate and non-mystical explanation of the principals of its effectiveness.

---

Ironically, Goddess N injured herself on the way back from the session -- one of those injuries that will last and affect her life for at least 2 months. She replaced one pain with another. This one, at least, will heal.

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Bathroom Talk

Goddess X had something different for me this week, and something others can share – if you can find it.

On the way in, Goddess X talked to some cleaning staff about some special preparations she had made and told them that she would tell then "when".

We had some pre talk about various common efforts of ours. She complained that I never write her anymore – I'm distracted on another venture, one that turned out to directly help Goddess X later in the week. During this talk the phone rang, and it was Goddess N. We chatted for some minutes, some general stuff and some in preparation for our big session trancing her scheduled a few days later. After the call, Goddess X and I made some tentative plans for Goddess N's session, but only in the broadest terms because it is certain that these things never follow any preset plan.

It was time for the main event of this day, and for this Goddess X informed the cleaning staff that it "was that time", and invited me into an inner bathroom and then onto a chair in the shower. Definitely something different. Also arriving were candles, a few papers, and some electronic equipment.

Goddess X was making a recording using me as her test subject! I won't go into the nature of the recording except to say that it is from her non-submissive regular hypnotherapy practice, is going to be widely distributed, and that her voice and tones on it would fascinate many readers of this blog. As a connoisseur of these things, I thought she managed to maintain good voice tones, pacing, and train of guidance.

I have heard the finished and distributed recording and it came out well. The bathroom adds an effective slight echo effect that just enhances her voice.

After she finished recording we discussed her plans for it. It was a weird setting with me still in the shower and her sitting on the toilet. I joked about making this moment a blog entry and she told me to "go for it". As far as what was related to that recording, she did not want feedback or analysis (mine is often sharp and critical) but just support for her to run with it. So this is what I have done in a tangable manner about which I cannot blog.

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Driving Cleanly

This session with Goddess N seemed to be to restore the order of the universe. After two consecutive sessions where I tranced her she seemed to need confirmation that she was still in control.

She greeted me as I got out of my car and we teased each other about our three way communication. She had not yet followed up with her planed call to tell Goddess X about her trance releases and to schedule a joint release. Just as I was in my car on the way to Goddess N, Goddess X happened to call to ask about doing a session right then instead of our planned time the next day (we ended up canceling for the week due to schedule conflicts). During this call I told her about Goddess N's releases, thinking that Goddess N had surely mentioned them by then, only to find that the two Goddesses had been playing phone tag that morning. By the time I arrived at Goddess N's place they had made phone contact and had made tentative plans for a three way session next week. I got a "someone has been talking" tease and I teased about Goddess N's procrastination and remarkably unemotive emails.

She started to induce a trance right as we got into her office but broke it off for a bit of small talk which was not so small – she showed me tangible signs of making progress on things from the prior week. This interlude lasted only a minute before she started the trance in earnest.

Her induction and deepening included a focus on her hand, some triggers, heaviness, needing to relax, breathing and transiting to needing to submit, wanting to submit, etc.

It was then time to go for a ride where I would be tranced and in her control and tagging along anywhere she wanted to lead.

Along the way she had me focus on my breathing, and then on the beauty of the morning. She also had me chose from a selection of colored trinkets and chose one whose color spoke to me.

When we got to her destination it was a car wash – one of those where you leave your car and walk inside a store to pay and browse while they clean the car. So, following her directions, I followed her past the attendants into the store and weaving among the displays to the cashier.

When I think of hypnotic scenarios involving submission they can often include some sort of "performing" where others are watching. It is interesting to me how uninterested I am in onlookers when I'm actually in a situation. I am alert to them in the sense of hiding my trance, but the narrowness of my attention does not allow for any self-reflection that I'm hypnotized and they are watching me. It might be different if they knew I was tranced and if I knew that they knew – but maybe not -- Goddess X did this early on with that amazing disappearing Indian lady where even though I knew I was being tranced in front of an attractive lady who knew I was being tranced, Goddess X's control of my attention was so complete that the lady disappeared from my awareness.

Goddess N then had me follow her through the parking lot and along the street over to a bridge over a small stream. She had me focus on the scene and on some particular plants, and gave me a cutting to put into my pocket for later. I was somewhat surprised to find it there later that afternoon. Once found I remembered her giving it to me, but in between I had not given it any thought.

She led me toward a Halloween pumpkin patch and asked if it would be ok to give me a pumpkin to take with me. I said "no" as I've had complications before from seemingly innocent odd items. The best rule is to have nothing tangible from the sessions. For example, I never print this blog and so I never will have to explain a wayward page.

She did other stops where we would look at a flower or the entrancing near spiral of a spider web. Also in here were affirmations that she is my Mistress of Relaxation, that I will submit to her, etc. We got back before the car was done so we sat side by side on a bench enjoying the day.

Back into the car, into the newly crystal clear windows, and to urges to find a new level of submission.

Back in the chair in her studio, she had me stare into her eyes being entranced into going deeper. There is an energy and bond in these stares that just takes me profoundly into her influence.

She turned my attention to sounds, of breathing, of a clock, or of a small set of bar chimes she has on her table.

She had my last name disappear. It is funny during these moments because the memory is inaccessible, it is there and you can feel it be there, but you cannot "open" it. Your thoughts just slip around it. Driver licenses can bring it back while they are present, but remove them and the memory again becomes inaccessible. She later did a similar trick with my age.

I also could not blow up a balloon when blocked by a suggestion from her. I just could not muster the extra "ummph" needed to get it started.

She had me rock in her chair and had it feel like it was about to fall apart. What are probably the same physical sensations take on new tones and interpretations when operating under such a suggestion.

There were other performance suggestions, but they all fade and blur in my memories. It has been difficult to get what I have gotten and I'm not all that sure of some of it. Successful effects lead to successful effects, and I think I can enter a mode of blurred unrememberable hypnotic compliance. Memories seem to need some sort of connection or anchor to other memories and a stream of many different things does not leave these anchors. It is odd that whatever hypnotic suggestions she gave me during this time are also unremembered but would their proper event and time would probably bring up their association such that they express themselves then. The steam of performances might act as a form of confusion induction that leaves me receptive and compliant in a way that I am too confused to later reassemble.

We were chatting after the trance and I was holding a stone sphere she had had me somehow use during the session. She wanted to know what I had been smiling about and I drew her attention to how similar the stone circle was in composition to some imagery I had used in her trances. It is interesting how interconnected things can be where "odd" phrases or objects have some connection to trance events. (See the post on Trance Variants.) My sessions with Goddess N (and X) do run long and we do enjoy ourselves, but this time I think she was a bit late into her next appointment.

Heard near the end of the session: "Don't blush me"

---

P.S. Goddess N has now asked or hinted twice for this blog. Here it is, my Goddess of Relaxation, and, yes, you are still in control and I will still submit – nothing has changed in that even though a new path is also open between us.

0 Comments:

Sorting Socks

Had a pretty normal session with Goddess B. She tranced me with a trigger after just a short discussion in her atrium and led me to the massage room with instructions to prepare.

Her hypnotic enchants have changed a bit lately to be more controlling with declarations such as this is my role in her house or with instructions to go deeper than I ever have before. She has also added ones to be totally open and honest. These seem fine with me and I do seem to respond at least partially to these and do experience a deeper or different sort of trance.

She throws in activities in the midst of the message, some of which I carry out in a sort of a sleepwalk, others where I'm more alert but still cooperative. The first one this time was to sort socks. I've reported before that my visual acuity is not good in trance and that some otherwise simple things become difficult. Part of this is, I think, concentration. When not in trance when I need more visual acuity I can pay more attention to what I am watching – sort of "turning it up" a notch. This does not seem to be an option in the fog of a trance. Another factor may be pupil dilation – dim things are extra dim when in trance, as if the pupils are not dilating to compensate. At the extreme end, in my deepest trances I have experienced true tunnel vision. In this case, these socks fortunately were distinct enough that I probably got them all properly matched.

After more massage time, her next thing was to have me sit up. She then asked me for what I would most like changed in my life or with my family. This question got two reactions from me. One was that it was hard to answer, it required a sort of scanning and analysis that is hard to do in trance. It also called for thoughts about that other world, the place I am when not tranced and these can be hard to find while tranced. The second reaction kicked in as I started to try to do such scanning and probably lost some of my trance depth. This reaction was one of wariness, a concern that she was going to again give suggestions concerning my outside life or family. I really have just one limit, and this is it. All suggestions that might affect me outside of the session need to be approached cautiously and pre-discussed outside of trance. I did not come up with anything and she may have detected my wariness because she moved on to the rest of the massage which proceeded normally. In hindsight I can speculate that she may have been planning something other than suggestions toward my outside life such as some sort of hypnotic dream.

As I left, I had to give her this site's web address again. She wanted to write it down on an index card next to my real name, and I'm very reluctant about this as I have strived to not have any document in existence anywhere that associates these two identities without regard to how confidentially the document might normally be stored. For example, in the worst case, would those handling her estate handle this information confidentially? Also, I've had cases where a therapist's confidential information was improperly accessed by others.

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Beaded tears

Today was a wild session with Goddess N. I waited a few minutes for her previous client to leave and when I was called in I passed Goddess N speaking in the hallway to another female hypnotherapist working from the same suites. It was funny going into Goddess N's private space to think of just how unaware that other therapist was that Goddess N had a submissive client. It is even funnier that Goddess X has mentioned this lady as a possible new mistress if I should ever "lose one". That does not seem like it is going to happen in the foreseeable future.

We sat down after a short hug and chatted briefly but not nearly as long as we sometimes do. She asked me what should we do today. I did not know if it was a hypothetical question or a real one but it did not matter. Last week was intense and amazingly effective and I thought it needed some discussion. As Goddess N relayed what had "stuck", what awareness had changed, and what had yet to take effect it became clear to both of us that there was still something "there" in her that was affecting her. I tried to listen actively and to ask reflective questions and just this discussion was bringing things to light, some which were definitely at the emotional level. Based on this we decided that I would trance her to explore a particular aspect.

Because it was so effective last week, I used the same basic approach to trance induction this week starting with a focus on the environment and ending with her taking a journey though multi-colored clouds that eventually merge with her. (She later said that she had not realized just how colorful she was. My response: "I knew") I also used occasional touches to the third eye as deepeners and I could see obvious physical responses to most of them.

The challenge at this stage with someone thoroughly hypnotized is to lead to the exploration but to not lead to the conclusions. The discoveries and conclusions that are effective for her must come from her. You can cause an intense focus on her own conclusions but you cannot insert them. You can at best mention possibilities. The other challenge is that they might not be verbal.

I directed her to explore the aspect we had discussed and to think of approaches and alternatives. She became lethargically verbal and articulated a word or two on a few. All I needed was these few words because it is not important whether I fully understand, it matters only that she understands. One of the things she said had a much stronger reaction from her than the others so I directed attention to that and mentioned possibilities she had mentioned when awake. She quickly reacted to some and started building on the idea – it seemed to be the idea for her for this moment. Just as I sometimes compose blog entries in trance, she had composed a very extensive set of possibilities of what she would do with this idea. I'll not discuss the therapeutic aspect further except to say that it ended with another set of wet ears.

At one point I asked if she was hypnotized. I knew that she was but that she had come up a bit due to her verbalizations and the nature of the subject, but I also knew that she would go back deep as soon as I asked her. As with other parts of the session, her answers were not for my benefit, they were for hers. Hypnotized people often do not realize that they are hypnotized, they are too focused on other things. However, knowing that you are hypnotized can reinforce hypnotic effects.

This effect came into play later in the session. I've reported that when I've been hypnotized for some time I get active – I either get chatty or need to be physically active. I think something similar happened to my relaxed Mistress of Relaxation because one of her hands spontaneously levitated. She was relatively chatty at this point and was commenting on how her hand felt as if it was doing that on its own. This I understand, both the effect on the hand and how noticing that effect is itself fascinating. Afterwards she commented at length on this and will probably be including "convincers" into almost every one of her client sessions.

General rule for hypnotists: Get hypnotized yourself regularly, you may learn many things.

I did explore a bit with the other hand, getting it to levitate (not as independently as the first hand), getting it to be rigid or limp and cycling it a few times. As could be expected, she seemed to tolerate this with nirvanic indifference but these sorts of activities demand focus and are actually deepeners. Also, they put some distance between the most important suggestions and waking up. You don't really want to do a "Wow, what a great revelation, now wake up!", instead you want to let the insights sink in. Toward that I gave her some moments of silence at the end to reflect on herself and on any adjustments she wanted to make at that time.

I did wake her up and she quickly cycled back briefly. When you have recently been there, you can get back nearly instantly.

We discussed the session and she filled me in on the details of what she had envisioned in trance – it was toughly worked out and I look forward to seeing it come into reality.

I expressed how flattered I am that she trusts me to guide her here and how she opens up to me, perhaps even in ways that surprise her. I think she does not let this happen with many or often but it works between us. I think that my long term submissive relationship with her enables this trust. There is another she trusts, Goddess X, and there is still a big unaddressed issue in Goddess N whose time has come and which can be addressed only in the most safe and trusted environment. We made plans for Goddess X and I to jointly be there for her to let her let this essential thing finally happen.

I also reassured her that I was still her submissive one, that nothing has changed with that part of our relationship. She may have needed a "convincer" on this because I had about 30 open minutes left and somewhat shyly she asked if I wanted a trance. Well, I had been almost trancing out in our pre-discussions and of course I accepted. The transition was awkward but once started we were back into our more usual interactions – the "Yes Mistress" needing to please sort of stuff. I am still her submissive one, and I am available as a guide when she is ready. One does not detract from the other and, I suspect, they instead reinforce each other.

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A New Submission

Below is an email sent to Goddess N and copied to me from blog reader menttioned in "The Forgotten Session" reporting on his second session with Goddess N. It seems that he did decide to allow overt submission related activities. His message is presented unaltered below.

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Hello Mistress,

I can't tell you how calm and relaxed I feel today. This past week I have not been able to sleep and was starting to feel like I was coming down with a cold, Last nite, after our session, was the first time in a long time I felt like I got a good nite sleep. I know that it has to do with allowing myself to submit to you. It and you have a very calming affect on me. The vision you planted while in trance of being on the beach has been with me all day and I hope it stays there. The way I saw it as you spoke, there was a warm gentle breeze blowing, the water was breaking gently, palm trees gently fanning each other, you in a flowing white linen gown standing over me. I on my knees feeling the warm sand, your reassuring presence, and the gentle but confident touch of your hand on mine. Telling me it is OK to submit and the deeper I go the better it gets. That feeling of your hand on my shoulder as I do things for you only makes me want to try harder. And that fits in perfectly with what we talked about in terms of motivation, concentration, and relaxation. Workouts and races now take on a new meaning if doing well in them is my way of submitting to you.

When you had me count down from 10 I visioned walking down the stairs. Each step down meant getting to a better, softer, warmer place.

So today, I am in that better place. I enjoy being there and know that it will get even better the deeper I go. Thank you.

I will get my manicure the first part of next week. Honestly, DeepTrancer and I had talked about it. At first mention, I was abit apprehensive. Now I can't wait to go, feel you hand on my shoulder as it gets done, and be able to be back in you control as my hands get massages. Getting a manicure and experiencing these feelings gives me another opportunity to connect with you and therefore a chance to submit. I look forward to it.

Have a great weekend Mistress. I will be in touch soon to schedule another appointment.

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Comic Book Hypnosis

Goddess X and I had an unusual session today. She had ordered something that caught her eye and presented it to me today. It was one of those "How to hypnotize" products advertised in a way so as to appeal to those who used to fantasize about ordering one of those hypno products from the back of comic books – and it even included one of those products!

The cover of the CD was hilarious, mostly because it incorporated as its major themes the two themes that Goddess X and I have recently been pursuing in our regular lives. It was almost as if it had been written for the two of us but in a 1960's Batman and Robin campy manner. It had my phrase, it had her phrase, it had them together, and then it used some of our subphrases.

The product did not deliver to its promises and I think that just about all who order it will feel their money was wasted.

The first part was a general talk about what hypnosis was and was not. For the most part they got it right but they did perpetuate one harmful fallacy. The second was a sample trance and they were reasonably good for this part. Goddess X and I both let ourselves experience it, and as it ended she immediately broke down some of its components to hypnotic pioneers. "That part was Erickson, that other part was the … induction, that arm thing was …".

The next two parts, the ones where it was time to deliver on the two main themes that it so loudly featured on its cover and in its advertisements, is where it took a huge turn for the worse. It was as if they wanted to say as quickly as possible just enough to help them defend themselves in court if they were ever hauled in for a most deserved charge of fraud. No serious attempt was made to transfer knowledge or technique or to leave the buyer with anything useful. Other than yet another trance, the product would be a waste of anybodies money.

Goddess X did have fun playing around with the comic book toy and use it to induce a trance in me, but the effects were much more from her and our bonds than from anything enabled by that toy.

I have always wondered about that particular toy, however, and it was nice to see one.

0 Comments:

Productive Surprise

Following a plan devised by Goddess X last Wednesday, I showed up Friday to a meeting she had planned with Goddess N, without either of us warning Goddess N beforehand.

Goddess N was obviously very surprised and also pleased when I showed up, with a little bit of fluster and perplexion thrown in. The three of us are actually quite an unpredictable combination, even to ourselves. Lets see, Wed Goddess X was trancing me, but the prior Wed I was trancing her, Thursday I was trancing Goddess N but the prior Thursday she was trancing me, Goddess X and I once jointly tranced Goddess N, they have jointly tranced me but once I had a note in my pocket, … you can see that a huge range of possible things could happen.

It was an interesting 2 hour session that contained motivation analysis and encouragements, blockage analysis, review of ones strengths, renewals of confidence, careful attention to phraseology, and many statements that taken out of context would make great subject lines for blog entries. At the end and with Goddess X's blessing, definitive encouragement actually, I did something that I knew would make Goddess N uncomfortable … but in a good way. By the end of the day multiple parties had made the desired progress.

What the session did not contain was any trancing. As I said, we are an unpredictable combination.

1 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

What is there to say but our encounters have .......

10/05/2005 8:48 PM  

Signs of a Hypnotic Breakthrough

"My ears are all wet"

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Secret to Hypnotizing a Hypnotist

It seems that the secret to deeply hypnotizing a hypnotist is to have it done by somebody from which they are not expecting to learn.

At her shy and uncertain request, I hypnotized Goddess N very deeply today to address a specific blockage. It was a phenomenal session it was as measured by hypnotically enhanced progress, the sort of session you read about in books and articles touting the therapeutic value of hypnosis. We found a definitive main reason for the block, found the core association behind the reason, were able to take away that association, and we found an obvious in hindsight better way and integrated that. We also found ties to clear early and traumatic events and their not yet resolved aftershocks. We cried and shared.

Her mind was definitely "there" – the core association just hopped out and surprised her (and me). There is one big unresolved thing that is there and has been there for most of her life. We did not pursue it but she knows now that it can be opened and can move toward resolution.

Her memory of the experience is clearly partial and fragmented (I know the feeling) and she commented that she ceased to consciously listen at some points knowing things were ok. She also commented that she was more able to do this with me because she was not expecting to learn anything particular. I guess when a professional hypnotist hypnotizes another, the tranced one "keeps an eye open" so to speak to analyze and learn from the other's approach.


She still is my Mistress of Relaxation and I will still submit to her, this had nothing to do with that. Well, maybe I should say "almost nothing" because the way she looked at me at some points after the trance seemed to be a reevaluation, a "Wow! He helped me do that?" so that knowledge will be with her in all of her dealings with me and she will be more aware of the possibility he her trancing. From my side, I'll still eagerly submit and let go, maybe even more so than before because our already deep bond is a bit deeper. When she is ready she will tell me, just as she did today.

0 Comments:

Listening to Stories

Goddess X and I had a session where I mostly listened to stories/fables with hypnotic embedded suggestions. I faded in and out to the stories, and don't really know if they have had any effect on me, but it was a pleasant experience.

We did plan a surprize for Goddess N -- but not as big as what actually happened the next day.

I might add more to this entry, but maybe not.

0 Comments:

Reading Stories

I had a fairly typical session with Goddess B Monday. These follow a generally massage pattern with a few hypnotic activities thrown in. This time it was preparing her recreational drug of choice -- frozen grapes, and later reading Mother Goose stories.

In a post session conversation, Goddess B did confess that she had not noticed that the other Goddesses had involved me with their feet and that she was surprised to see that she was following a path others had followed.

I'm somewhat surprized to discover that there is any common path at all because this is new ground for all of us. A regular guy with a submissive streak gets a regular hypnotherapist involved, then a massage therapist, then more hypnotherapists, then gets into Mistress and Goddessy stuff, when it is the first for each of us. Commonalities can be coincidence, can be some form of feedback between us, or might reflect some path that is part of the general human makeup in these situations. So if there is a path, where does it go?

I'm thinking of the end of the movie "Pleasantville" where the newly emotionally liberated wife is sitting between her husband and lover, both also newly emotionally liberated to different degrees, and one asks "where do we go from here" and none of them know.

I don't know where it goes from here, but I don't spend any time thinking about it either. Life is about the journey, not the destination and we are on an interesting journey.

0 Comments:

The Nature Goddess

Goddess N was already in her studio when I arrived which surprised me as I had not noticed her car. I guess she has been pondering that awkward transition I tease her about that occurs when we discuss business at length before trancing because she tranced me within a minute of my arrival. As she probably expected, there was no awkward transition.

The focus was on going deeper, listening to her voice, and submitting totally.

She prepared me to follow her to her car for a long ride. After putting me in the car she had to go away for a few minutes and during this time I heard noises behind me which I quickly categorized as most likely being that of a small dog. The car ride went much as the previous one where I just reclined in the car with my eyes closed and with an occasional touch or word from her while in transit. As before, I was not bothered by the car's motion or the various noises of traffic and any noises the dog might have made were lost in the environmental noises or were not picked up by me as anything significant.

When she got me out we were in a nature park setting where the park was clearly at the end of one season and preparing for the next. The introduced me to her dog who, unlike Goddess X's dog, did not consider me to be of any particular relevance. We walked along the outer edges of the park (it was probably unclear how welcoming the park was to the dog) and she would at various times have me stop, turn in some particular direction, and admire a scene, a body of water, or a passing animal. Somewhere in here I got one of "those" smiles that generally indicates some sort of surprise for the Goddess and in this case it was that I had very recently taken and posted a series of pictures of almost identical content to what she was directing my attention. On the way back to the car she asked me to share my thoughts and I at least partially articulated this.

Somewhere along the walk she had me stop and notice the small densely clustered not yet open flowers of an abundant plant. She had me tear off and carry a small cluster from it and later gave me suggestions that it would remind me of her and of the calmness of the nature environment. I happened to notice this cluster again today and found it dry and withered, but the previously unopened flowers had all opened and released their pollen, giving all they had in a last oomph before wilting.

Back in her studio she had me physically relax and played a bit with chair switching, having me sit in her chair and then wanting to go back into "my" chair that was then occupied by her.

She requested two specific emails from me to be sent later. I was paying attention at the time, but I was also not paying attention in that way that makes sense only to those who understand hypnosis. What I find is that in the fuzziness of the session that I lose specific details. I know there is a second email, but I've forgotten what it is supposed to be.

She woke me up and I mentioned my set of recent similar pictures. We browsed them and then discussed various things related to the business thing whose trigger had been pulled the last week. I was then on my way.


By the way, Goddess N sometimes frets if the blog entry is delayed after the session. In my last entry I shared the email where she described herself as being sooooo tranced out and since then I've seen several other indications that that session truly is fuzzy in her recollections. Interestingly, in this fuzziness, she missed my blog entry about that session and today questioned me why I hadn't made one. I understand the feeling – when something is shrouded in hypno fuzz things that "attach" to it mentally either partially unfuzz it or they themselves get partially fuzzed. Forgetting to notice the blog entry, even when anticipating it, goes along with forgetting details of the session. I have several strong reasons to conclude that she really was "sooooooooo tranced out" during that session and this is odd because she showed less signs of obvious trance than she has done in numerous other sessions and there was no part of it where she was relaxing or being passive. She fully tranced out trancing me and enjoying my submission. Those who wonder if the Goddesses are really "into it" can read this as an affirmation but must remember that what "it" is that they are into is dependent on their history and disposition and might not be the "it" of anybody else's imagination.

By the way #2: Goddess N probably dislikes blog entry's title becuse it is too close to the earth mother stuff that is not her, but it fun to use it for a day or so.

1 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

Dear Deep Trancer,
I will surprise you again. I actually like the title "The Nature Goddess" on this blog entry. Our walk was one with nature that day. Taking in the sunlight and the views with my submissive one was interesting.
N

9/26/2005 8:53 PM  

Defeets of the Goddesses

My session with Goddess B started with a brief discussion about garden insect pest control before she used several triggers on me in her atrium. I was lead to the massage room and given the usual instructions to prepare while going deeper and to call her when ready.

Her induction and enchantment was her normal stuff with extra emphasis on surrendering everything and being in her complete control. I was more receptive to this than I have been in the last few sessions and more willing or able to just zone out.

She had me sleepwalking and going to a dresser and help her wind threads onto spools. This I did unquestioningly and without paying much attention to my involvement in doing it.

Back on the table I eventually entered that state where I echo most of her suggestions. This seems to form some sort of reinforcement cycle where she feeds back to me that which is most effective.

What is it with feet? Somewhere after turnover she had me up and applying lotion to her feet and massaging them. I did this with the same narrowness of focus I often have with Goddess N where I was aware of 1 foot and some of the ankle and not of the other foot or the rest of her or even of her reactions. What I am curious about is whether she came to this spontaneously or if she was inspired by the events with my other Goddesses. I know that they talk, but I know that it is not that common and mostly they have things in common to talk about that are not related to me, and I know that she reads my blog entries related to her but does not as often read the blog entries from the sessions of the others. I don't mind massaging the feet and it is sometimes pleasant, but I am starting to wonder if foot massages are some inevitable milestone in the path of the development of a Goddess.

Somewhere between halfway and three quarters into the session somebody was calling to her from outside the room. She did not respond to these and continued as if they were not occurring. I trusted her to do whatever was appropriate in reaction to the calls and did not concern myself as to what that might be.

2 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

Dear DT,

I am still smiling and laughing as I write this entry! You are right, what is IT with feet? The ultimate act of submitting to your mistress? Something to ponder and ponder.

N

9/26/2005 8:12 AM  

 Deep Trancer said...

It needs to be remembered that the feet thing comes from the Mistresses, not from me. (I don’t have any particular interest in feet.) So the perception of it being an act of submitting must reside in them. It could be seen as an extension of kneeling, but in this particular case with Goddess B she was on the table and I was standing.

I think it is probably something more profound in a way that puts it definitely on the path to becoming a Goddess. I think it represents the Goddesses become confident in their influence, confident enough to overtly direct attention to one of their needs. It might mark a step beyond enjoying the submission mostly for its potential.

This may seem odd to some readers, but it is not odd when you remember that I am the first submissive for all of my Mistresses, that all of them have other roles they follow with everybody else. They are not used to being clearly in unquestioned control and are not used to using this control or even to thinking of how it might be used.

I doubt that the feet thing is the 'ultimate' anything, it may be more the first step down a new path. We are all still learning where this might go.

--
Ok, now you have more to ponder, my Goddess.

9/26/2005 10:10 AM  

Illuminating the Goddess

As I approached the lobby of Goddess X's place of business I noticed a note addressed to me by name that told me directly into her studio and to close the door. Once in there I found Goddess X passively laying on the table eyes closed and a note in the reclining chair to close the blinds, press "play", listen, and then proceed with hypnotizing her.

Yep, I said "hypnotizing her". It is actually my second experience where I am the sole hypnotist – I had hypnotized her once in conjunction with Goddess N and once before in a session I had not blogged.

When I am hypnotizing someone I dedicate myself to their agenda so of course I needed to know what she was wanting or needing this time. We do not talk as much as we once did mainly because taking over the world is hard work and reduces the opportunities for casual chats. However, I had a pretty good idea and knew that I would get the rest from her if appropriate.

Without addressing her I looked around for which "play" button to press. Perhaps it was her mini recorder, perhaps it was that one that uses a mechanical motor, or perhaps it was her multi-function boom box. Her studio is neat but busy in that there are decorations and interesting things on just about every surface so it would be easy for a recorder to be nesting and overlooked. I searched without touching anything before proceeding to her boom box. It had a tape and a CD – which to play? Don't you hate those stylish but cryptic unlabeled buttons some devices have? I tried the tape first and ended up forwarding it (or rewinding?) before landing on what seemed to be the play button. Hmm, no sound. So I hunted forward and back on the tape a bit – still no sound.

If this sounds a bit fumbly it is because it was. There seems to be something about her studio that makes electronic devices uncooperative. As I was searching for the recording Goddess X bought herself out of trance so she could find out what was wrong. I was disturbed that her plan and preparation was not working as expected and that whatever mental state she had achieved had been put aside, at least temporarily, due to these problems. Well, it didn’t make a sound for her either.

We laughed about it a bit and she popped into another room and told me it might take 3 minutes. While waiting we talked about whether I had been wanting to do this and if I wanted to hypnotize Goddess N. We also clarified her agenda a bit and she discussed a new business insight she was considering. From the next room came one of those Microsoft windows chimes that indicated the end of burning a CD. We chatted more about some business ideas and some opposition she had recently encountered. She then popped the CD in, verbally instructed me to listen to the first track and then to proceed with her.

It was another one of her therapeutic recordings (not submissively charged). She is good, and so are her recordings. The induction was a subtle progressive relaxation along with focus on internal body sensations and breathing and implanted a reinduction trigger to be used on oneself. The core message in the recording was supportive of daily achieving your goals. The recording ended with a choice of drifting off to sleep or awakening. I arose to cut off the tape as it got to the details of awakening. I was admiring her hypnosis skill set as expressed in how her voice tones and volume changed over the course of the recording to match the desired reaction.

Milton Erickson was a big advocate of using whatever was situationally available, either concepts the tranced one had brought with them or things from the environment, as the basis on which to build the trance magic. Well, the recording we both had just listened to gave me some of these. I told Goddess X that it was time to relax and I used the trigger from the tape a few times interwoven into the conversation but emphasized. Also following the lines of the tape I had her be aware of body sensations, particularly that of gravity pulling her down into the table.

Working spontaneously and without much time to prepare, I built on the theme of achieving her goals and wove into it two analogies, that of traveling and one involving a gem. At the summit of both analogies was a connection between them, where the two together was much more than either alone. I was thinking that I was either being excellently clever, or that I was involving too many things. As it wrapped up she moved her hand outward and I took hold of it to build on that bond of ours, to let her feel the confidence I have in her, to feel the energy in that connection, and to be jazzed up from it. She became verbal and asked me about something. Aaagh, I was caught, because what she had asked about was a place where I took a small change in focus and I knew at the time that I had done that with a seam in the transition. Well, I had wanted to not be too specific because her mind would fill it in as it needed to be, but I had shifted a bit so I clarified it.

The trance ended without any formal transition. The nature of suggestion is cumulative and trances are not the only place it occurs, so I made sure that I stayed on target in all of my statements. This included discussing the analogies used (and in so doing emphasizing the important points) and sharing a true store from my personal experience that paralleled the core point.

Nowhere in here was there any mention of surrender, submission, or control. These were not relevant to what she needed and I did not even think about it at the time. This was not a "you are in my control" sort of trance, it was a "lets look with new clarity at what you already know" sort of trance.

I called her two days later on another issue and at the end she told me that some magical effects may be happening and that she would tell me later. I want to know!

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The Forgotten Session

Goddess N had warned me that our session might start late as she had a new client just before me. I arrived at her studio and could hear her voice (but not her words) through her closed door, so I waited about 15 minutes until she completed. I took an unobtrusive look at her other client but I doubt that they noticed me. The client seemed radiant, almost beaming, and lighthearted and they thanked our mutual hypnotist several times in their short walk out and promised to follow though. I have no idea what the purpose of this session had been, but it had clearly been successful.

Goddess N had had a busy day it seems. I knew that she had earlier in the day had a telephone session with someone who contacted her through the blog. This person had also contacted me with several direct questions about her and her sessions, all of which I answered to the best of my abilities. I later got a follow up email from him and he gave permission for me to discuss his session with Goddess N so I know that his session was effective. At his request the session had been about a non-submissive specific therapeutic goal but basically by accident there was in the session a small amount of more submission inducing suggestions to which he seemed to resonate. It will be interesting to see if he chooses to have more of that included in his next session.

I'm feeling some satisfaction from helping him and the Goddess find each other. One thing about this blog is that it gives a feel of the interactions and should attract those seeking similar experiences.

Back to back to back (to back?) sessions must take a toll, especially when she has such a tendency to trance out in mine (while retaining control, most of the time). It is odd that I did not think of her as trancing out that much this time, but an email I received 4 days later told the story as she said:

Subject: sooooo tranced out

Dear DT,

Was it you or I that were so tranced out that our session on the 15th did not seem as if it happened? Where is the post? I know I received some emails as directed from you!

N

You were busy that day, my dear Goddess, and that day was sandwiched between other busy days, so let me see if I can fill in things with this post.

We had our usual problem of enjoying talking to each other such that it becomes awkward for her to start the transition into trance. The "ideal" trancy thing might be to enter a room already set to the proper atmosphere and for her to start the trance right away, but we always seem to get involved in discussions first. I enjoy these discussions and I have to admit enjoy the tease of watching her make the transition. This day in particular we had things to discuss as we made the final decision to "pull the trigger" on the final step of a business thing we have been pursuing for several months. She is less colorful than I had thought she was. (Inside joke.)

This time we discussed the awkwardness and laughed about it a bit and then fell into more discussions. It was probably 20 minutes into the session before we got down to hypnotic fun.

"OK, take a deep breath", …take another deep breath, keep on staring at my eyes, going deeper and deeper, Deeper, concentrating, hearing, deeper, following my instructions, deeper, going into trance easily, deeper, effortlessly, deeper, … Those are probably not the exact words, but they give the feel.

"as you go deeper, needing to follow my instructions, all sounds put you deeper and deeper. I am your Mistress, you submit to me now, following my instructions, going deeper still, more and more relaxed …"

"In moment we will go outside, you will stay deeply in trance …as you walk you will go deeper and deeper into trance, … you will be aware but not bothered by things around you, … what will matter is that you will be with your Mistress … totally submitting, following her instructions …"

At her count, I stood up and followed her outside to start our walk. We passed movie theaters, insurance agents, real estate offices, white cloth and junk food places, but none of this mattered, she mattered. Just as we got out of the congested area she decided to start back.

With hardly no time back in the chair she had me open my eyes to take and heat her lunch in the communal microwave, still in trance. Well, in the kitchen was a massage therapist transferring lotions and such. She was friendly and tried several times to start a small conversation and I, in trance, was a bit of a humbug. She wasn't interesting to my goal at that time (heat the lunch) and interactions were a threat to my direction to keep my trance unobserved. I wondered if she noticed anything?

Back in the room she put the lunch aside to cool and immediately pulled out a nail file and instructed me to do her nails. "Each time that file goes back and forth you go deeper, Each time that file goes back and forth you need to go deeper, going deeper and deeper, submitting to me, … needing to submit, wanting to submit, … you are under my control, wanting to please me, needing to please me, in my total control, … allow yourself to totally focus … on pleasing me …"

"Now with your eyes closed I want you to feel the sensations as I file your nails" … She proceeded to play a bit with limb catalepsy, enjoying having even my fingers in her control, directing my focus to the sensations.

She had me get up and straighten the bed/table whose sheets had been disrupted by the prior client. This included fetching and replacing the head cover. I think I did ok, but things are fuzzy in trance. She said I had done a good job.

She had me look into a box with several varieties of tea bags in it and tell her what was available. She tried with limited success to suggest that I would find a different variety when I checked again. She had me ask her what she would like. "Which one would you like" Mistress! "Which one would you like, Mistress?" … "Yes Mistress"

Time to fetch the tea, and time to trance as I dip the bag and she counted.

Eyes back closed, repeating what she said. "I am Deep Trancer, please take me deeper. I want to please you, I desire to please you, I need to pleas you, I am your submissive one …"

At one point she tried to have me sing in trance – that just seems to be impossible for me. We settled for a mantra of my repeating phrases such as those used above. My voice can be soft and is a tone that blends into the background, so she leaned forward to listen. I watched her enjoyment at hearing these words and her being pleased pleased me.

"Go deep, very very deep, deeper than ever before …"

She gave me instructions to send several specific emails over the next 2 days basically confirming that I was in her control. I sent at least some of these, but we probably exchanged 30 emails related to that business thing (where I was in control) and the frequency of these probably interfered with some of the suggested emails.

"6 … 8 … 10, opening your eyes …"

We chatted, discussion whether I had benefited from her earlier session – if she had some pent up controlling urges. She analyzes things as they happen (intuitively). That some people just could not ever understand. We also discussed the role of control and submission her unusual former profession (unusual, but totally vanilla). It would be very interesting (but probably unbloggable) if her former profession ever crossed over into our sessions. I can still cause a flush in her with a well timed "Mistress".

She is very good at what she does, VERY good, and has even been able to use it in lifesaving roles. I'm lucky to have found her.

Thank you, Goddess N
Thank you, Goddess X, my gatekeeper of all things hypnotic, for causing this to happen on top of our own interactions.

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Reviewing Trances

Had a pleasant session with Goddess X.

After a small bit of greeting we entered her studio and she tranced me reclining in that chair of hers. She then asked if I would do something different that day. Well, of course I am always intrigued. The something different was that she had me listen to one of her recorded CDs so I could create a write up about it from a fresh prospective. The CD was related to a non-hypno submission sort of thing, so I can't describe it here.

My first impression was that it sounded like her, that the recording was very close to what I hear from the live Goddess X. (She told me later that this recording had been done in a studio.) I found myself at times drifting in a pleasant daze and not paying that much attention to her words (which is a sign that the words were going in). I could tell that the wordings on it had been carefully selected so as to not cause a problem no matter what the circumstances were of the listener, but they were delivered with a casual grace that showed no signs of the delicate path she had to follow.

At the end of the recording I had a profound feeling of wanting to obey Goddess X. This was funny because besides a small part of her post trigger deepening there had been no focus on submission or control transfer of any sort. There certainly was not any in the recording.

Time in trance is a funny thing. I was time constrained this time in that I had an appointment following our session. I could have easily believed the recording had used up all of our time but in fact at least half was still left.

She had me stand and follow her to a garden. There she put me to the task of watering various plants which I did in a semi-mechanical manner in response to her directives. At one point she was very specific more or less setting the parameters for an arc of watering much as she might set a sprinkler. Well, once set a sprinkler follows its arc whether or not you are in its path, and I guess so did I. I had no clue that I had sprayed Goddess X until she reacted and then I became aware of it and of its humor, but of course I kept watering as directed.

She directed me back inside. My time sense had been bothering me as the session had seemed to have gone on a long time and I was worried that she had misunderstood my time to be elsewhere as the time I needed to leave her studio. With this bothering me I had the presence of mind to glance at her almost hidden clock and found that she had not misunderstood and there was still time left. (She later commented on my glancing at the clock.) Never trust your time sense in hypnosis.

After a bit more trancing on her table I was on my way. The temptation to stay and chat is strong and she reminded me that I had better get moving. (I made it with just enough time to prep enough to get done what was needed.)

She may be starting a new series of recordings. I look forward to being her test subject or reviewer. Hmm, who knows – if she is thinking of me as she makes these there may soon be a series of "normal" hypnotherapy recordings with just a twist of this twist. We will see.

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Become aware that I have another ...

This session started very differently. I was going to pick up Goddess X from a car repair place, but she called while I was in transit to say that there was some hang up and her car was not going in as planned and I should meet her at her normal place of business. As I got close to it she called and told me to call her when I had parked and the session would start then.

It has been some time since I've had a telephone session with Goddess X, and even with Goddess N they are now rare. However, when she triggered me instantantly when I called back I relaxed into her words as she took me down with various triggers and with direct suggestions of surrender and submittal. She would often ask me to breath loudly so she could see how I was responding. One key sign of trance is that the rest of the world disappears (selective attention) and this was definitely occurring except as interrupted by environmental factors such as people conversing near my car. She had me open my eyes and hold my palm in front of my eyes and tried to have me envision a heart in it. I'm relatively weak hypnotically regarding suggestions that conflict with observations such as seeing or hearing things that are not there, and this was not the best circumstance, so it is not surprising that the best I got was an impression of a heart. This was good enough so she had me place it next to mine and to transfer positive feelings from it to me.

After about 15 minutes she told me to get out of the car, to cross any necessary streets carefully, and to wait at her front door. This I did – sort of. My only ongoing challenge with Goddess X is staying unobserved, her place of business is close to home for me and it would be easy for a family acquaintance to notice me outside her place of business and casually comment on it later and her place of business is such that I'd have a hard time creating plausible a explanation. I waited near her door but in a less conspicuous place for the 2-3 minutes it took her to arrive.

She had me follow her into her place of business and into her studio ignoring any who tried to greet me. She placed me in that soft reclining chair and had me work the leaver to lean back. With the phone ear bud removed she turned on background music, shut out external lights, and placed a blindfold over me. She said she had a few things she needed to do so I sat there relaxing while she did whatever those were.

When she returned she had me open my eyes and describe how I was feeling. I was pretty blank and tried to say that. She had me sit up and be greeted by her dog, which she often brings to her studio. All this time the dog and been unsuccessfully trying to get my attention. I casually petted her pet as did she, the pet while liking me clearly preferred her attention to mine.

Somebody was at the door! Goddess X directed me to get the door. I was not expecting anybody but had a flash of thought that it might be Goddess B as it is fairly easy for Goddess B to get to Goddess X's place of business. With only a small amount of apprehension, I walked to the door and opened it to find my surprise – Goddess N!

I don't know how much expressions come through when hypnotized, but I felt like I was beaming. I had resigned myself to not seeing her this week. Goddess X directed me to give Mistress N a hug and a kiss, and I almost impulsively gave her a big one before realizing that this was not what she meant. I gave Goddess N a sincere but appropriate hug and kiss and Goddess X directed me to go back into the studio and to lie on the table.

Upon entering the studio, Goddess X asked the logical question – if I had any notes in my pocket this time. Well, this time they caught me by surprise, but they laughed in memory of my first physical encounter with Goddess N when I guessed what was going to happen and prepared a note in advance. (See "Note in my pocket")

They fiddled and fuzzed a bit, and it became clear they were setting up recording equipment including something that had a motor. They did a sound check and decided that they needed to speak loudly to be picked up well. This influenced the tone for the session.

Goddess N started and Goddess X interjected as Goddess N starting following one of her usual inductions while Goddess X used phrases from my fully letting go checklist. Goddess N would pick up on a phrase and elaborate on it and issued some of them herself. The thing is that their trying to be loud interfered with their natural styles. It came across and emphatic and bossy, maybe even with a bit of an attitude. I have no idea how I would have responded to this as a stranger but knowing many of their natural styles it came across as a bit weird for me. That said, it was still effective. After all, here were two excellent hypnotists that I trusted, my Goddesses, ones that can individually trance me into surrender and submission at their whim, and they were both so whimming and using my own words in many cases. Of course it was effective for me!

What was VERY effective was when they talked concurrently rather than in turns. I would hear both of them and respond to both but this did take all of my attention so my soaking up the suggestions was without analysis or filters, there just was not time for such things, or need for them either. Goddess X directed me to have my body disappear and it started to do so, I started becoming unaware of my body.

This did not last long as Goddess X directed me to sit up and then asked me how I was feeling. Sometimes in trance I become very verbal, even semi-manic sometimes, but more of the time I am passive able to respond but not initiating much. The most active verbal activity seems to come after 45 minutes or so of trance but for whatever reason I was still in that blankish fairly passive verbally state and probably did not articulate much.

Goddess X directed me that my phone was ringing. She probably meant a repeat of that answering the shoe thing, but this time I did happen to have a phone handy – this did start as a teletrance after all, so of course I sent for my cell phone. The humor of this was clear to all of us, even to me, and we all were laughing as Goddess X tried to redirect me to the shoe. I did end up answering the shoe after being told to stop my laughing. They asked me who it was and I was pretty blank about it – hallucinations are just not my strong point. The only person I could envision was sitting right there, Goddess N. They asked what I wanted to tell her I told her I was glad she was here and I confessed that I had almost "given her a big one" with the door kiss and they laughed and Goddess X confessed that the had regretted the phrasing just after she said it and said something to the effect that "We will have to be careful with that kissing stuff next time."

Blogging has become a habit to me, and one thing I pick up on are possible blog subject lines. I love to tease the readers and the mistresses by using subject lines that I hold are intriguing and accurate even if not quite as expected. This session was full of these, and "We will have to be careful with that kissing stuff next time" is one of them.

Goddess N directed me deeper and Goddess X directed me to get the door, that somebody was there. I walked to the door, opened it, did not find anybody, and returned. The Mistresses had rearranged themselves so that Goddess N was in the recliner and Goddess X directed me to kneel at Goddess Ns feet and to take her bare feet. What an opportunity! Not for me, but for the dog who promptly inserted herself into the interaction by giving both of Goddess N's feet a through and very wet licking. Ok, "Licking her feet" was added as a possible blog subject line for the session. At several times in the session they had to tell me to stop laughing. I would but they sometimes gave me new reasons to begin.

Goddess X brought me some hand cream, much firmer stuff than Goddess N normally uses, so she had me warm it up in my hand and with my breath. I almost offered it to the dog for additional warming. In my hypno-klutzy way I applied some of it to her pants before settling down. Goddess N directed me to go deeper and to feel the muscles of her foot. Goddess X, who has a reputation as being an expert in appreciating foot massages, directed me to apply my knuckles to the middle of her foot, which I did. Goddess X thought firmness was appropriate so she directed me to push as if I were trying to reach the top of the foot. I did not see Goddess N's reaction, but I heard Goddess X's reaction to Goddess N's reaction – I guess I did press rather firmly in response to that directive and Goddess N must have reacted.

So I continued with the foot and lower calf making occasional eye contact with Goddess N. I knew Goddess X was around, but as far as physical presence it was limited to Goddess N and only to parts of her. Goddess N is used to this and gave a suggestion such as "Now you start to become aware that I have another foot", which Goddess X found hysterical and verbally speculated about the appropriateness of her using a variant of that phrase in her personal life.

Goddess X noticed I had not switched feet nbut Goddess N knew that I was aware of the other foot but had not been told to do anything with this awareness. I was directed to start with the other foot and this I did until I was directed to get more cream. Again I warmed and again I considered having the dog help in the manner she seemed to want. As I was on the other foot Goddess N reminded me that I wanted to please her, needed to please her, and that this applied to both of the present Mistresses. Again I was lost in the foot.

Goddess X had tried a few times to see if Goddess N wanted to trance out during the foot attention. It seemed appealing to Goddess N but she did not. I commented after awakening that there is some unpredictability with the three of us present as we all have histories of trancing each other. However, we do not trance without willingness so unexpected surrender only occasionally occurs.

I was directed to a sink where I warmed a hand towel with hot water and wrung it out before applying it to Goddess N's feet in a manner that I intended to be both a cleaning and a massage.

They placed me back on the table and, reminding me once again that I did not even have a note in my pocket, quickly woke me up.

Goddess X invited me to share a lunch with the two of them. We had some good chats covering various topics, some sharable and some which generated possible blog title lines that could be completely misinterpreted. "There is more to it that even you know about" would be the most innocent of these, some of the others I had to promise to not use. There is a real sense of comfort among us. We are not involved in each other's lives, but we are aware of much of each other's lives and much of the discussion was sharing and expanding this awareness. Goddess X did pick up on another form of expression of my patterns of not accepting assistance from others asked once or twice something to the effect of "do I have to order you to …". There is an intimacy in hypnosis, a bonding, and perhaps part of its attraction for me is that it gives a means to penetrate past a shield I otherwise wield so very diligently.

I'm so lucky to have these Goddesses. It still amazes me and it often still feels like a dream. That "Deep Trancer" guy and all that stuff he gets to do, that couldn't be me, could it? It feels like a dream right now. Maybe I'll never need to wake up.

1 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

Dear Submissive One,
I have always enjoyed having my feet massaged.
N

9/17/2005 9:47 PM  

Goddess N's Disappointment

Due to unexpected complications, Goddess N had to cancel her session with me this week.

She made up for it. Details later.

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Silent Echos

I arrived a bit before Goddess N but others had left the doors open. We had some business to explore so I wondered into the room where we would normally do this in order to get things set up. Well, when she arrived we found that a crucial piece of equipment was not working that day so we headed into her studio.

After not much more chit-chat and after a brief comment from her on how it was sometimes hard to transition after normal style interactions, she waved her hand and snapped her fingers and my trancing started. It soon became clear to me that she too was going to do a completely non-verbal session, and this was just one day after Goddess X had done it. I was pretty sure and Goddess N later confirmed that she had not been in communication with Goddess X and had no idea this had just been done. I probably smiled a bit while descending into my trance and I imagine that such reactions must always worry Goddess N at least a bit. Those smiles are often reaction to some so-far secret knowledge and she must be wondering if I will be pulling out a note or if I just composed something like the red rose, yellow rose thing.

Well, if my hypnotic memories were already blurry from the non-verbal session with Goddess X, imagine what effect experiencing another deep one the next day must have on blurring the memory timeline. Non verbal trances are about emotions, being in sync with each other, and flowing with the moment. Without the complexity of language you are stripped to these all too often shielded essentials. If they can stay in sync with you, or clue you such that you stay in sync with them, then it works and is magical. I suspect that if the sync were lost it would quickly become awkward. Interestingly, both Goddesses reported that they expected that this experience with me would make them better hypnotists, and that they were inclined to fold more non-verbal clues into their regular sessions.

So with the blurring effect, I cannot report with any accuracy on what she did to deepen the trance. It involved things from her usual bag of tricks such as pressure on the shoulders, moving the head, making limbs be rigid or limp, or guiding my eyes. It is in part because these are part of her usual hypnotic vocabulary that they do not form a sequence. I cannot even be sure that they happened this session or if I'm just "filling in" with impressions from earlier sessions. However it was done, it was as effective as her normal verbally assisted trance, or even more so, and I was soon lost in the world that consisted of just her (or sometimes just parts of her) and whatever she was directing.

At one point she pulled out that bottle of hand lotion and I started applying it as before, mostly to the back of her hands but also to the front and massaging whatever caught my attention.

She pulled out her tea cup and bag and, following the script from prior sessions, I fetched hot water and started raising and lowering the tea bag. However, when I thought it was about done she had other ideas and gently directed me out of her office and into the front seat of her car. She closed my eyes and I proceeded to ride unquestiongly to wherever she had in mind with only occasional reminder touches from her. The distance and turns seemed to be consistent with that earlier car ride to a Starbucks, but this is so hard to measure she could have taken me any number of places.

She got out of the car and left me there. I did not fret or worry at all; I trusted she would return in an appropriate time. When she did return she confirmed that I was still tranced and fed me a bite of either a bagel or one of those pretzel things you get at smoothie places. I was chewing it and enjoying the taste when she signaled me to become more passive and deep. I guess she remembered about the swallowing difficulty in trance thing because she reversed herself long enough for me to get the food down.

Back in her office it was some more time in the chair and then I found myself massaging a feet and applying that lotion. I continued the massage dream through all the muscles I could identify working upward until she signaled me to stop. She did not have me do the other foot right away and had me do something else I cannot sequence right now, but eventually I was back at the other foot.

I noticed that she was showing signs of trancing out. That is a very easy and natural thing to do in the setting, the atmosphere in the room is so "trancy" that it feels like if a stranger entered they would collapse obliviously tranced within a few seconds. In Goddess N's case it is a particular quandary. She loves having me submitted, in her complete control, yet part of her seems to yearn to go as well while another part fears it. I appreciate her quandary but probably have a strangely indifferent attitude toward it. I can sum it up as "Red Roses, Yellow Roses, I like them both just the same, and perhaps in time so will you." As I like both roses, it does not matter to me which she most likes at any particular moment because I'll simply adopt the appropriate complimentary and supportive role. I can also handle a mixed bouquet.

(Ok, now I have her both laughing and shaking her head.)

We have some wonderous and mutually fulfilling interactions. It saddens me that more have not discovered this.

2 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

So Deep Trancer...where you already in trance that you do not remember the beginning handshake part of entering trance.

9/08/2005 6:31 AM  

 Deep Trancer said...

I remember now; it all blurs.

9/08/2005 8:22 AM