Sorting Socks
10/16/2005
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Had a pretty normal session with Goddess B. She tranced me with a trigger after just a short discussion in her atrium and led me to the massage room with instructions to prepare.
Her hypnotic enchants have changed a bit lately to be more controlling with declarations such as this is my role in her house or with instructions to go deeper than I ever have before. She has also added ones to be totally open and honest. These seem fine with me and I do seem to respond at least partially to these and do experience a deeper or different sort of trance.
She throws in activities in the midst of the message, some of which I carry out in a sort of a sleepwalk, others where I'm more alert but still cooperative. The first one this time was to sort socks. I've reported before that my visual acuity is not good in trance and that some otherwise simple things become difficult. Part of this is, I think, concentration. When not in trance when I need more visual acuity I can pay more attention to what I am watching – sort of "turning it up" a notch. This does not seem to be an option in the fog of a trance. Another factor may be pupil dilation – dim things are extra dim when in trance, as if the pupils are not dilating to compensate. At the extreme end, in my deepest trances I have experienced true tunnel vision. In this case, these socks fortunately were distinct enough that I probably got them all properly matched.
After more massage time, her next thing was to have me sit up. She then asked me for what I would most like changed in my life or with my family. This question got two reactions from me. One was that it was hard to answer, it required a sort of scanning and analysis that is hard to do in trance. It also called for thoughts about that other world, the place I am when not tranced and these can be hard to find while tranced. The second reaction kicked in as I started to try to do such scanning and probably lost some of my trance depth. This reaction was one of wariness, a concern that she was going to again give suggestions concerning my outside life or family. I really have just one limit, and this is it. All suggestions that might affect me outside of the session need to be approached cautiously and pre-discussed outside of trance. I did not come up with anything and she may have detected my wariness because she moved on to the rest of the massage which proceeded normally. In hindsight I can speculate that she may have been planning something other than suggestions toward my outside life such as some sort of hypnotic dream.
As I left, I had to give her this site's web address again. She wanted to write it down on an index card next to my real name, and I'm very reluctant about this as I have strived to not have any document in existence anywhere that associates these two identities without regard to how confidentially the document might normally be stored. For example, in the worst case, would those handling her estate handle this information confidentially? Also, I've had cases where a therapist's confidential information was improperly accessed by others.
Her hypnotic enchants have changed a bit lately to be more controlling with declarations such as this is my role in her house or with instructions to go deeper than I ever have before. She has also added ones to be totally open and honest. These seem fine with me and I do seem to respond at least partially to these and do experience a deeper or different sort of trance.
She throws in activities in the midst of the message, some of which I carry out in a sort of a sleepwalk, others where I'm more alert but still cooperative. The first one this time was to sort socks. I've reported before that my visual acuity is not good in trance and that some otherwise simple things become difficult. Part of this is, I think, concentration. When not in trance when I need more visual acuity I can pay more attention to what I am watching – sort of "turning it up" a notch. This does not seem to be an option in the fog of a trance. Another factor may be pupil dilation – dim things are extra dim when in trance, as if the pupils are not dilating to compensate. At the extreme end, in my deepest trances I have experienced true tunnel vision. In this case, these socks fortunately were distinct enough that I probably got them all properly matched.
After more massage time, her next thing was to have me sit up. She then asked me for what I would most like changed in my life or with my family. This question got two reactions from me. One was that it was hard to answer, it required a sort of scanning and analysis that is hard to do in trance. It also called for thoughts about that other world, the place I am when not tranced and these can be hard to find while tranced. The second reaction kicked in as I started to try to do such scanning and probably lost some of my trance depth. This reaction was one of wariness, a concern that she was going to again give suggestions concerning my outside life or family. I really have just one limit, and this is it. All suggestions that might affect me outside of the session need to be approached cautiously and pre-discussed outside of trance. I did not come up with anything and she may have detected my wariness because she moved on to the rest of the massage which proceeded normally. In hindsight I can speculate that she may have been planning something other than suggestions toward my outside life such as some sort of hypnotic dream.
As I left, I had to give her this site's web address again. She wanted to write it down on an index card next to my real name, and I'm very reluctant about this as I have strived to not have any document in existence anywhere that associates these two identities without regard to how confidentially the document might normally be stored. For example, in the worst case, would those handling her estate handle this information confidentially? Also, I've had cases where a therapist's confidential information was improperly accessed by others.
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