Driving Cleanly
10/19/2005
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This session with Goddess N seemed to be to restore the order of the universe. After two consecutive sessions where I tranced her she seemed to need confirmation that she was still in control.
She greeted me as I got out of my car and we teased each other about our three way communication. She had not yet followed up with her planed call to tell Goddess X about her trance releases and to schedule a joint release. Just as I was in my car on the way to Goddess N, Goddess X happened to call to ask about doing a session right then instead of our planned time the next day (we ended up canceling for the week due to schedule conflicts). During this call I told her about Goddess N's releases, thinking that Goddess N had surely mentioned them by then, only to find that the two Goddesses had been playing phone tag that morning. By the time I arrived at Goddess N's place they had made phone contact and had made tentative plans for a three way session next week. I got a "someone has been talking" tease and I teased about Goddess N's procrastination and remarkably unemotive emails.
She started to induce a trance right as we got into her office but broke it off for a bit of small talk which was not so small – she showed me tangible signs of making progress on things from the prior week. This interlude lasted only a minute before she started the trance in earnest.
Her induction and deepening included a focus on her hand, some triggers, heaviness, needing to relax, breathing and transiting to needing to submit, wanting to submit, etc.
It was then time to go for a ride where I would be tranced and in her control and tagging along anywhere she wanted to lead.
Along the way she had me focus on my breathing, and then on the beauty of the morning. She also had me chose from a selection of colored trinkets and chose one whose color spoke to me.
When we got to her destination it was a car wash – one of those where you leave your car and walk inside a store to pay and browse while they clean the car. So, following her directions, I followed her past the attendants into the store and weaving among the displays to the cashier.
When I think of hypnotic scenarios involving submission they can often include some sort of "performing" where others are watching. It is interesting to me how uninterested I am in onlookers when I'm actually in a situation. I am alert to them in the sense of hiding my trance, but the narrowness of my attention does not allow for any self-reflection that I'm hypnotized and they are watching me. It might be different if they knew I was tranced and if I knew that they knew – but maybe not -- Goddess X did this early on with that amazing disappearing Indian lady where even though I knew I was being tranced in front of an attractive lady who knew I was being tranced, Goddess X's control of my attention was so complete that the lady disappeared from my awareness.
Goddess N then had me follow her through the parking lot and along the street over to a bridge over a small stream. She had me focus on the scene and on some particular plants, and gave me a cutting to put into my pocket for later. I was somewhat surprised to find it there later that afternoon. Once found I remembered her giving it to me, but in between I had not given it any thought.
She led me toward a Halloween pumpkin patch and asked if it would be ok to give me a pumpkin to take with me. I said "no" as I've had complications before from seemingly innocent odd items. The best rule is to have nothing tangible from the sessions. For example, I never print this blog and so I never will have to explain a wayward page.
She did other stops where we would look at a flower or the entrancing near spiral of a spider web. Also in here were affirmations that she is my Mistress of Relaxation, that I will submit to her, etc. We got back before the car was done so we sat side by side on a bench enjoying the day.
Back into the car, into the newly crystal clear windows, and to urges to find a new level of submission.
Back in the chair in her studio, she had me stare into her eyes being entranced into going deeper. There is an energy and bond in these stares that just takes me profoundly into her influence.
She turned my attention to sounds, of breathing, of a clock, or of a small set of bar chimes she has on her table.
She had my last name disappear. It is funny during these moments because the memory is inaccessible, it is there and you can feel it be there, but you cannot "open" it. Your thoughts just slip around it. Driver licenses can bring it back while they are present, but remove them and the memory again becomes inaccessible. She later did a similar trick with my age.
I also could not blow up a balloon when blocked by a suggestion from her. I just could not muster the extra "ummph" needed to get it started.
She had me rock in her chair and had it feel like it was about to fall apart. What are probably the same physical sensations take on new tones and interpretations when operating under such a suggestion.
There were other performance suggestions, but they all fade and blur in my memories. It has been difficult to get what I have gotten and I'm not all that sure of some of it. Successful effects lead to successful effects, and I think I can enter a mode of blurred unrememberable hypnotic compliance. Memories seem to need some sort of connection or anchor to other memories and a stream of many different things does not leave these anchors. It is odd that whatever hypnotic suggestions she gave me during this time are also unremembered but would their proper event and time would probably bring up their association such that they express themselves then. The steam of performances might act as a form of confusion induction that leaves me receptive and compliant in a way that I am too confused to later reassemble.
We were chatting after the trance and I was holding a stone sphere she had had me somehow use during the session. She wanted to know what I had been smiling about and I drew her attention to how similar the stone circle was in composition to some imagery I had used in her trances. It is interesting how interconnected things can be where "odd" phrases or objects have some connection to trance events. (See the post on Trance Variants.) My sessions with Goddess N (and X) do run long and we do enjoy ourselves, but this time I think she was a bit late into her next appointment.
Heard near the end of the session: "Don't blush me"
P.S. Goddess N has now asked or hinted twice for this blog. Here it is, my Goddess of Relaxation, and, yes, you are still in control and I will still submit – nothing has changed in that even though a new path is also open between us.
She greeted me as I got out of my car and we teased each other about our three way communication. She had not yet followed up with her planed call to tell Goddess X about her trance releases and to schedule a joint release. Just as I was in my car on the way to Goddess N, Goddess X happened to call to ask about doing a session right then instead of our planned time the next day (we ended up canceling for the week due to schedule conflicts). During this call I told her about Goddess N's releases, thinking that Goddess N had surely mentioned them by then, only to find that the two Goddesses had been playing phone tag that morning. By the time I arrived at Goddess N's place they had made phone contact and had made tentative plans for a three way session next week. I got a "someone has been talking" tease and I teased about Goddess N's procrastination and remarkably unemotive emails.
She started to induce a trance right as we got into her office but broke it off for a bit of small talk which was not so small – she showed me tangible signs of making progress on things from the prior week. This interlude lasted only a minute before she started the trance in earnest.
Her induction and deepening included a focus on her hand, some triggers, heaviness, needing to relax, breathing and transiting to needing to submit, wanting to submit, etc.
It was then time to go for a ride where I would be tranced and in her control and tagging along anywhere she wanted to lead.
Along the way she had me focus on my breathing, and then on the beauty of the morning. She also had me chose from a selection of colored trinkets and chose one whose color spoke to me.
When we got to her destination it was a car wash – one of those where you leave your car and walk inside a store to pay and browse while they clean the car. So, following her directions, I followed her past the attendants into the store and weaving among the displays to the cashier.
When I think of hypnotic scenarios involving submission they can often include some sort of "performing" where others are watching. It is interesting to me how uninterested I am in onlookers when I'm actually in a situation. I am alert to them in the sense of hiding my trance, but the narrowness of my attention does not allow for any self-reflection that I'm hypnotized and they are watching me. It might be different if they knew I was tranced and if I knew that they knew – but maybe not -- Goddess X did this early on with that amazing disappearing Indian lady where even though I knew I was being tranced in front of an attractive lady who knew I was being tranced, Goddess X's control of my attention was so complete that the lady disappeared from my awareness.
Goddess N then had me follow her through the parking lot and along the street over to a bridge over a small stream. She had me focus on the scene and on some particular plants, and gave me a cutting to put into my pocket for later. I was somewhat surprised to find it there later that afternoon. Once found I remembered her giving it to me, but in between I had not given it any thought.
She led me toward a Halloween pumpkin patch and asked if it would be ok to give me a pumpkin to take with me. I said "no" as I've had complications before from seemingly innocent odd items. The best rule is to have nothing tangible from the sessions. For example, I never print this blog and so I never will have to explain a wayward page.
She did other stops where we would look at a flower or the entrancing near spiral of a spider web. Also in here were affirmations that she is my Mistress of Relaxation, that I will submit to her, etc. We got back before the car was done so we sat side by side on a bench enjoying the day.
Back into the car, into the newly crystal clear windows, and to urges to find a new level of submission.
Back in the chair in her studio, she had me stare into her eyes being entranced into going deeper. There is an energy and bond in these stares that just takes me profoundly into her influence.
She turned my attention to sounds, of breathing, of a clock, or of a small set of bar chimes she has on her table.
She had my last name disappear. It is funny during these moments because the memory is inaccessible, it is there and you can feel it be there, but you cannot "open" it. Your thoughts just slip around it. Driver licenses can bring it back while they are present, but remove them and the memory again becomes inaccessible. She later did a similar trick with my age.
I also could not blow up a balloon when blocked by a suggestion from her. I just could not muster the extra "ummph" needed to get it started.
She had me rock in her chair and had it feel like it was about to fall apart. What are probably the same physical sensations take on new tones and interpretations when operating under such a suggestion.
There were other performance suggestions, but they all fade and blur in my memories. It has been difficult to get what I have gotten and I'm not all that sure of some of it. Successful effects lead to successful effects, and I think I can enter a mode of blurred unrememberable hypnotic compliance. Memories seem to need some sort of connection or anchor to other memories and a stream of many different things does not leave these anchors. It is odd that whatever hypnotic suggestions she gave me during this time are also unremembered but would their proper event and time would probably bring up their association such that they express themselves then. The steam of performances might act as a form of confusion induction that leaves me receptive and compliant in a way that I am too confused to later reassemble.
We were chatting after the trance and I was holding a stone sphere she had had me somehow use during the session. She wanted to know what I had been smiling about and I drew her attention to how similar the stone circle was in composition to some imagery I had used in her trances. It is interesting how interconnected things can be where "odd" phrases or objects have some connection to trance events. (See the post on Trance Variants.) My sessions with Goddess N (and X) do run long and we do enjoy ourselves, but this time I think she was a bit late into her next appointment.
Heard near the end of the session: "Don't blush me"
P.S. Goddess N has now asked or hinted twice for this blog. Here it is, my Goddess of Relaxation, and, yes, you are still in control and I will still submit – nothing has changed in that even though a new path is also open between us.
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