Feeling the Buzz

In a prior log, I commented that but I felt a definitive buzz when talking to X but before she had induced a trance.

This is a very interesting phenomenon that first happened when talking to X on the phone after our second session, one where she got me VERY deep, and repeats itself so various degrees every time we talk and sometimes when I think back upon or write about a session. The buzz feeling is similar to an alcohol induced buzz. The upper part of my head is tingly, feeling like it is vibrating softly but quickly, and I hear a small buzz similar to tinnitus. I suspect that my attention narrows but this is hard to judge because one of the symptoms of a narrowing of attention is not noticing that it is narrowed. The buzzing does distract my attention from anything other than my main thoughts.

Interestingly I don’t feel the buzz when under. Maybe the buzz is a posthypnotic suggestion imposing itself, the mind narrowing in preparation for carrying out a suggestion, the mind realigning itself in preparation to going under, or maybe I am already hypnotized when I’m feeling the buzz.

Whatever it means, the buzz is completely involuntary and this time the buzzing was very strong. This may be because I was in a situation where I’d typically be under (1:1 with her in her studio) and were chatting for a bit. I found the buzz distracting and wanted it to go away but it just got stronger. We were not following a pattern previously used of sitting in the chair, talking, going under, etc and were instead standing and talking. There were awkward moments when I wasn’t sure what to do and the buzz would get very strong and I’d want to follow a previous pattern. It was almost like the buzz was whispering without words “sit in the chair and go under, all the way under, let X into your mind, follow her words …”. I knew that X did not want me in the chair at that particular moment and because of that I did not follow this impulse but the buzz and the impulse where strong.

I’m not always buzzed when talking to X. If I’m involved in describing complex thoughts of providing some background I am not very buzzed. If I’m not busy using my attention for other things the buzz returns.

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General comments on my memory

I started journaling about 3 hours after our session and already realized that some things I had been recalling on the drive away from the session had already been forgotten. I forgot to transfer the file I made there to home so I started a second journal I planned to merge with the first. In doing the second one I realize that I do not recall today (Saturday) nearly as much as I had been when doing the first journal. When I do get back to the computer where I placed the first journal I’ll probably remember the things I discussed in there, but for now they are lost to me.

I think that it is not so much that things get forgotten but rather that they are disassociated with anything else and thus do not reenter my thoughts. If you asked me about something I’d probably remember it and remember things connected to it – the memory is probably there, it is just inaccessible without some clue. What memories and associations I do have fade much more quickly than do normal memories.

What is most retained are things near transitions. The discussions at the start and end of the session are remembered as are things near other transitions such as rolling over or changing to or from laying down. It may be that the transition stands out and serves as a memory anchor for what happened near the transition. What is retained the least are long sequences of similar things. A few sessions ago X had me in the chair and gave me suggestion after suggestion. I remembered receiving the stream but the particulars of most of the suggestions are lost to me. Similarly, I remember that while face down on the table X was involving me in many things but mostly that time compresses in my memory to a general impression.

An apt analogy is the fading of dreams. Sometimes you wake up from a particularly strong dream with a vivid memory and strong impressions, but unless you write it down you may find that you have forgotten the details of the dream and retain just an impression and maybe a vague theme (like “it was really scary involving a dark cave”). Details of many parts of my hypnotized time are strongest when first awakened and then quickly fade—not as quickly as dreams can fade but they do fade and leave just an impression. It may well be that the forgetfulness of hypnosis and the forgetfulness of dreams is based on the same mental mechanism. Also note that you never wake up and remember two dreams.

B: you said that I looked like I was asleep. Maybe I was – my decision making and planning capabilities were certainly in a deep slumber and my inner dialog was slow, unwilling to think deeply, and at times “knocked out” and replaced only with X’s words, your touches, and my responses to these. However, not many sleeping people are listening to somebody’s words, incorporating attitude changes, and even moving and talking doing and experiencing without question whatever they are told while staying asleep. I am basically a hypnotized sleep walker and it may be that I experience hypnosis as a dream.

Can experiences in dreams affect your attitude, actions, and reactions once awake, perhaps in ways you do not directly realize? I think it is pretty clear that they can and do. Can what you experience when in the dream of deep hypnosis affect your attitude, actions, and reactions once awake? They can and do, perhaps by the same mechanism. A big difference is that regular dreams are sort of the subconscious going wild and following whatever paths it chooses or stumbles upon. In a hypnotic dream my attention is either focused on the hypnotist or focused on whatever she directs and the paths I’m taking are not the random draws from my subconscious but are instead what she is choosing for me.

I am curious if I show REM behavior when under and, if so, at what stages?

Suppose it assisted some goal to have me forget some part of the session or some specific thing? You would have the most chance of my forgetting if you slipped the item into the midst of similar items and the item did not surprise me in a way that made it stand out. An alternative or complimentary approach you could try would be suggesting that I not think about X, that if I started to think about X I’d instead think about Y (chose for “Y” something I’d tend to enjoy thinking about a lot anyway). If I end up not thinking about X for a few days odds are that it will have faded completely and I’d not remember it unless externally prompted by somebody who was there.

You could also encourage forgetfulness by planting suggestions about not needing to remember, not wanting to remember, that remembering spoils the magic, to enjoy forgetting, etc. I do know that right now I’m not bothered by not being able to remember many session details, that not remembering is by itself somewhat relaxing.

Another way to encourage forgetfulness is taking advantage of the lack of clues and associations that would organize the memory. The more separated the trance world is from my normal world, the fewer clues and associations I seem to form. The more "different" the feelings and events I experience in trance are, the less likely I seem to be to wonder upon those memories outside of trance. This makes for an odd hypnotic effect in that the more unusual the hypnotic experience the more likely it is to be forgotten. “Unusual” here does not mean weird or odd, just different in mental perception. A complimentary effect is that the more I’ve complied with the more likely I am to comply with the next suggestion. (Basically, successfully following a suggestion generally puts me deeper -- more I’m told to do the deeper I go.). It may be that this is how stage hypnotists work. I’ve never figured out to the degree that the participants are really hypnotized, how much their hypnosis is affecting their compliance, and if their seeming frequent amnesia is real. To the degree that the behavior is real, it may be because of these two effects working together – the more they do the deeper they are, and the more unusual the things they do the least the memories are associated with they everyday experiences and the more likely the behavior will be forgotten.

It is unclear to me if I could be hypnotically trained to forget on command. It may be that if I get used to forgetting that you could associate that behavior with specific moments of your choice.

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Perception Locks

One interesting trance effect is that my impressions of events or feelings that occur in trance seem to "lock in" at that time and are seemingly not subject to later review or reanalysis. Whatever impression I had at the time becomes the permanent impression. When I do think about an event or impression, I can often "replay" it in my mind but any attempt to rethink or reconsider what happened seems to be very difficult, tiring, and not worth the effort. My mind effectively repulses from the effort within a few seconds. I speculate that what may be happening is that I cannot reconsider the event without recreating the mind frame I had at the time and, as I am not in trance, I cannot do so. It may be that reconsidering an event would require a slip into trance and the first step of this seems tiring and I stop.

You might be able to build upon and use this "impression lock in to" some effect. If you use suggestion to establish some viewpoint or emotion about some trance event, it may be that your suggested viewpoint becomes the only viewpoint I will possibly ever have about that particular event. This can probably be used to work around any obstacles I might have or might get if I were thinking some other way.

0 Comments:

Where is the hypnotist?

X: Another interesting trance effect is that sometimes you are "there" and sometimes you are not. Let me try to explain. Most of the time I am aware of you as a separate person interacting with me. However at other times you slip into the background and are no more or less worthy of my separate attention than is a random book on your bookcase. This is not to mean that I am ignoring you -- it is quite the contrary. At those times you are probably quite busy with me and I am probably being almost completely responsive to your words. What is lost is my mental recognition of you as a separate person interacting with me. Whatever you are saying or doing is being internalized and I am in my own isolated universe -- it just happens that you are greatly influencing what that universe is and my reactions to it. You can probably build upon this trance effect to become effectively "invisible". You would probably not be able to get me to think that I can see through you, but you could get yourself to be unworthy of my attention and become unacknowledged. You would be there and be guiding me, but you would be just one of those many things that disappear from my attention. I don’t know if this has therapeutic usages.

Conversely to your becoming "invisible" at some times, at times I am intensely aware of your presence and of not much else. These moments establish rapport and help build to some of the trance effects I mention here. I’m probably feeling this way when I’m echoing your suggestions and this intense awareness of you and the report shown in the echoing may be some of what allows me to ”let you in” to my mind.

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Introducing Massage with Hypnosis -- Log 5

From X:
I've always thought that hypnosis and massage are a natural marriage. So I spoke to a friend who is a wonderful massage therapist asking if she would be interested in doing a combination for one person, and she is open. Are you?

======

In this session a massage therapist, B, with no prior hypnotic exposure, was added.

Session timeline with commentary in blue
Note: I’ve decided to rack my brains trying to fill in the timeline. Maybe I’ll recall more when I reopen my notes from Friday, maybe not, but it does not matter to me. If I skipped something you want feedback on just ask and I’ll supply it.

Door
Hello to B
Talk private in room
Discussion of privacy
Standing
Buzz
(Discussed in the other journal)
Discuss clothes – B decides, keep underwear
Out door to greet h, ask if she had hypnosis experience, no
Triggered, slumped
Told to change in bathroom, given sheet
Did not pay attention to much except hooks

Sort of stumbled into bathroom, probably came almost out of trance as I had enough awareness to hang things up (or maybe this is because X had mentioned that I could use the hooks – I used the first hooks that caught my eye – I have no idea if there were other hooks in that bathroom or what the other walls in there look like, or even if it had a toilet. My images of it are a sink, mirror, some lights, those hooks, and the floor tile – the rest of the room escaped my attention. I must have still been under even if I felt awake enough to undress and hang up clothes.) As soon as I had hung up the last item the heaviness of a deeper trance overtook me. I abstractly picked up the sheet X had given me, did not see it as anything more meaningful than something she wanted me to carry, and opened the door.

Felt somewhat unsure of myself, not because I’m standing there hypnotized my underwear in front of some ladies, but because I wasn’t clear on what I was supposed to do after undressing. I was actually very … relaxed … about being semi exposed, much more so than if I had been awake, and I had no body consciousness about my paunch, posture, etc. Was probably more profoundly tranced out for being so exposed, coming to full awake from that state would have been difficult. I had a general awareness of the presence of the two of you but not so much that I bothered to note where you were – thinking back on I have no idea if you were in the other room, behind the table, directly in front or beside me, or somewhere else, the details of your presence were not included in my hypnotized limited attention.

On table face down, did not get into cradle, moved to face cradle

B starts on shoulders
X mentions new book, mind games

** my timeline of the next events is disconnected, I am not sure of timing or order **

childhood dream, reoccurring
flying
not sure if you wanted me to recall one
later it seemed as if you wanted this experience were to become as if a reoccurring childhood dream

remember time of being deepest
recalled a feeling of profound surrender to X’s influence, of letting go totally to her
I was wanting reassurance that it was ok to be that way this time
I guess I can’t fully let go without explicit awareness that somebody is there to
temporarily accept the things for which I am letting go
Sort of mentally backed away from that deepness
stairs, black lake -- deeper

waves of healing

other dream sequences, maybe used as part of deepening

Phrase “return to mind game later” caught my attention

X touching head, B touching legs, confusion as to who is who
(Discussed in the other journal)

(The above list of occurrences is pretty sparse given the time between induction and rolling over, but this is all I currently recall.)

roll over
B will tell you what to do
laughter, smile

This turned out to be a surprising easy transfer of influence
The expectation was that I would do what she said, and this is how I interpreted it, that she would tell me what to do and I would do it. I did not interpret it as limited to instructions on how to rollover, and I’d probably have been as unquestioningly compliant with whatever she said as I would have been with X’s instructions

This did not wear off much – even when sitting on table after dressing and before first awakening I’d probably have automatically complied ifshe had given direction

chair – need to examine book

• I remember receiving this suggestion but also remember that at that time I was so hypnotized/distracted that I was not paying much conscious attention to it. For example, I don’t think I remembered which book or exactly what I was supposed to do with it. (You’ll have to tell me if I got it right -- if so then those details did go in under my awareness.)
  
  I was bothered by your saying the phrase chair so many times after telling me that each time I hear it I will … . You were probably reinforcing the suggestion but it caused stress/confusion in me as to if I were to do it right then. Maybe this stress/confusion is why the memory stuck. Maybe try something like “After I let go of your head, each time I say the work chair you will …”
  

Got a new reinduction phrase, will take me back instantly to relax
don’t remember the phrase
not reinforced, stated only once
not sure if it will just relaxes or will make me hypnotized and open to suggestions

too heavy to possibly move

feel light
heavy
tiny (hands)
big

reinforcement phrases – I confirmed verbally some of them
cookies
formeremployer
comfort
new one re productivity

Heard phrase “chair” while on table
walked to bookcase and found some book

• I hesitated for a moment after hearing chair both trying to figure out if the trigger was supposed to apply this time as I was still under the trigger (a leftover from the “when does it apply” confusion) and awareness that I was draped and wondering if my standing up would offend anybody. (That I already had did not occur to me at the time.) However it was sort of like when Sharon uses the wrong reinduction phrase but some part of me decides “close enough”. Some part of me decided that it did apply and it was like slipping into trance – all other activities and trains of thought ceased and all I was thinking about was getting to the bookcase.
  
  I sometimes wonder about certain incidents if I was hypnotized or if I were just somehow playing along. I cannot tell by subjective experience but some objective measures tell me that I was responding to a hypnotic compulsion. When getting to the bookcase I did not see either of you, did not see your expressions, and did not see anything except a narrow channel covering what was between me and the first bookcase I saw. If I had been playing along somehow I think I’d have taken more time to look for other bookcases to get it right and would probably have observed the reactions of the two of you. As it is, these did not happen and I have to conclude that I was operating on some limited intelligence limited awareness automatic pilot.
  

From bookcase got dressed
sit on edge of table
felt ready for questioning
Somehow I jumped to the conclusion that B would be wanting to question me about my experiences and when I sat on the table I was preparing to open my hypnotized mind to whatever she was wanting to ask.
awake

Awakened
X mentioned a change in how I looked. I asked about it and she said that I had looked tranced and that she could video tape it for me. B said that I had looked like I was asleep.

• It is interesting that I looked like I was asleep -- maybe I was asleep – my decision making and self consciousness certainly were. However, there are not that many sleeping people that can walk, talk, see, will do what you tell them, and can have their attitudes adjusted. It is a funny paradox because the more you have me do the more your words and suggestions suppress and replace my inner dialog and the more asleep I am and the more I’m willing to do. When I’m fully involved with your words I am in a blissful Nirvana where I have no inner dialog, where I don’t care that I have no inner dialog, where I’ve suspended decision making and analysis and am just experiencing in a state of selflessness. While under, it does not matter to me if I’m responding to a dream or quacking like a duck, I just don’t much care about what I do as long as I’m fully involved in it and thus get to stay in the Nirvana.
  

I think you “chair”ed me again, but if so the details are lost to me.

B just amazed at the session
both look forward to journal


The Massage

My recollections of the message and of the hypnosis are pretty much separate from each other. I recall you, B, starting on my shoulders, many long strokes along the back, working on my neck, etc but these are not associated in memory with any of the hypnosis until a light association after the turnover. This lack of association may be because the two of you were not building any association into it such as “feel your muscles relax” or “each touch will take you deeper”.

What your touches were doing is occupying some of my attention. In the context of being deeply hypnotized this is a good thing because the effort that went into paying attention to the massage would probably have otherwise been spent analyzing what X was doing. When she wanted my attention she certainly had it but normally I have some part of me that is observing unless I have gotten very deep and basically surrendered to her direction. So even though you did not link the massage to the hypnosis, distracting my observer to be paying attention to the massage rather than to what X was doing probably caused what she was doing to go more directly in. I was more hypnotized because of the massage.

The turnover was interesting because of a bit of literalness. X told me that “B will tell you what to do” with an implication understood by me that I would do it. She probably meant it in the context of rolling over but my relaxed and hypnotized mind did not take such a narrow interpretation – I was ready to be told what to do by you, B, and was feeling prepared to do it whatever it might be. I had previously wondered how hard it would be to transfer influence over me to another person, but in that single sentence X accomplished it whether or not that is what she intended.

At this point your touches, and everything else you were doing were associated with the hypnosis because, after all, “B will tell you what to do” made you a hypnotist to me. After a few moments of your not telling me anything else to do the observer side of me realized my over literal interpretation of the statement and while I was still ready to do anything either of you told me I was laughing at myself internally and probably smiling externally.

Lessons for a team session: Link the massage to hypnosis, and have the massage person be involved in giving directions even if to a much lesser degree than the hypnotist.

Wild Idea: I heard somewhere about a technique where there is a hypnotist on each side of a person whispering separate inductions of different styles into each ear. The person is busy or overwhelmed following both and does not have much mental time for anything else and ends up either profoundly under to both or to just one. The variant that would apply to a session like we had would be to have X doing her thing while B does some sort of touch assisted progressive relaxation induction such as starting at the head but by the time she gets to the toes the person will be totally relaxed, under and compliant.

There is one thing I did not remember until Monday morning when I heard my kids counting – you did that number thing on me again! I remember it well now, or at least think I do, but it was completely outside of my awareness (e.g. forgotten) until I was reminded by this external event.

I remember it being similar to a previous time when X did this. It did not take much to make the number go away – I would have expected this to be a difficult suggestion to get implemented. When I would try to count I’d hit a block where the number belonged and as I’m struggling with that block I realize I’m hypnotized, I’d feel “hypnotized” and out of my mouth pops some suggestion fits the moment, one that that makes me feel hypnotized.

(B, X is already familiar with this but this aspect of hypnosis is probably new to you. Even when it is totally clear to any outside observer that I’m hypnotized, even when I sat down with the intention to be hypnotized, and even when I’m clearly following some hypnotically induced behavior, I am generally not aware at the time that I am hypnotized. Part of hypnosis is a narrowing of attention and in this narrowed mindset there is not room to be aware of being hypnotized unless something calls attention to it. It is basically not knowing that you are hypnotized because you are too hypnotized to notice. You might be doing whatever was suggested to you, but it does not feel strange or odd at the moment and actually feels “right” and natural whereas not doing it would feel somehow “wrong”. It may be because of this effect that I react very strongly and very positively to any suggestions that make me feel hypnotized. It is a funny self-reinforcing thing. If I am hypnotized to feel hypnotized and to want to be hypnotized then I’m expecting to be hypnotized and I become hypnotized and ready to be more deeply hypnotized. This is for me a rather powerful cycle but it is not one that would be effective on anyone who had fears or concerns over being too deeply hypnotized. Personally, I am not worried about being too deeply hypnotized – I’ve been hypnotized many times and have never had any adverse consequences from it and always benefit and for me it seems like the deeper the better.)

I don’t know what specifically I said when I popping out statements that reinforce my feeling of hypnosis but I have a general idea. An interesting thing happens with these, however. They just “hang out there” without much effect unless X somehow validates them by repeating them, rephrasing them, or saying something like “yes, deeper and deeper”. I’m looking to her for guidance and the statements don’t mean anything to me just because I said them but they become hugely meaningful when she says them or validates them. When she does validate them they are not just suggestions, they are *SUGGESTIONS*. I guess that since the thoughts just came out from me that there is no chance that I’d reject that thought so when they are repeated or validated they go in very strongly and with great effect. This can probably be used to get me profoundly deep and feeling blissful to be there.

2 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

DT,

Jeff here.
I posted a message recently, via Mistress X, about my experiences.

I've read loads more since and just wanted to thank You. The posts are fantastic. I'm learning so much more about MY experiences through YOUR experiences. As i said in my post, i sometimes find it difficult to switch off the inner dialogue. It's almost like i need proof that i am indeed "Deep under" and its only after a session that i realise how deep i was. I must hasten to add that these trances are only recordings, as i haven't managed to find a lady hypnotist in the UK who would understand, as your wonderful Mistress X does. Or have I? I do actually have an appointment booked at the end of may, with a lady hypnotist. I've reached the stage where i'm fed up with being a social leper and decided to seek help in quitting smoking. I've chatted with the Hypnotist on the phone, for quite a long time and she sounds lovely, understanding and very erudite. Shall i? Oh god, should i confess all? aaargh! Or should i just relax about it and see if the opportunity presents itself? Waddya think?

Cheers
Jeff

5/05/2005 11:44 AM  

 Deep Trancer said...

Hypnosis is funny like that, and its fun to have mistresses who give me proof of being deeply under that I can evaluate while still there.

Personalized sessions are so much nicer than recordings, that feedback and correction cycle is so valuable.

I’m on the fence about what to advise with the UK hypnotist. In person sessions are so much nicer than telephone sessions, if you are in sync. However, most conventional therapists are not at all hip to this, and even when one might be able to understand, it can take months and 12+ sessions as it did with Mistress X. It is easy to find yourself in a very awkward position and not getting what you need from the session either on the smoking or on the fetish. I’ve gotten several reports of people who have not gone to a conventional tist because they feared that their reactions would make her uncomfortable and would be unfair to her, would get them kicked out as a pervert, or both. Confessing all can be a real mess, and not confessing can be frustrating and can limit other hypnotic benefits. If you do it, you should relax about it and see if the opportunity presents itself, but don’t wait to long and don’t force it. The opportunity may well not present itself – many hypnotists will go out of their way to make sure that it doesn’t.

If you could just walk into a conventional hypnotherapist’s office, confess this fetish and have it accepted, I think everybody would have done it. There is probably a reason we do not hear many success stories from this.

Alternatively, I can put you in contact with a one of the light workers I work with who has a specialty in quitting smoking in her normal therapeutic life. You get somebody who would understand as Mistress X does and who can help you on the smoking. You would not get in-person sessions, however.

You have a basic trade between somebody who you know will understand, where you can confess all, and who will make their be hypnotic fun for you, but who is limited to phone contact, or somebody who you get to see in person but who probably will not understand or accept this interest.

Here is an idea. As far as I know, I’m the only one who has a public story of success from this route, but I’ve posted a question in both of the fdhypnovideo and LadyJulia groups and asking others what success they have had working with what some call "vanilla" hypnotists. Maybe these stories will clarify your options.

5/05/2005 3:47 PM  

Unambiguously in Control

I seem to need you to be unambiguously in control, not just in theory but actually exercising the control. The feeling is that once it is clear that you have this control and that I am compelled to obey, then I would not need to maintain responsibility for my actions and could then fade away.

Anything that makes me worried about "my" actions requires me to remain at least partially alert, but I do not seem to feel the need to worry about "your" actions that I happen to be the one executing. It is not so much that you have to be in firm control at the moment I might fade away as it is that the sessions must establish an environment where the yielding of control is nearly automatic and taken for granted and one in which I do not concern myself with whatever actions that may occur or whatever thoughts that might be expressed. Complete freedom

The rapid re-inductions are one establishment of control -- they are a declaration that you have the ability to easily and rapidly take control. They get me used to yielding some control more easily. The carry-over of control provides some sort of reassurance and makes the next time easier. You should probably reinforce this re-induction suggestion very strongly and unambiguously -- I will go under without restriction and without hesitation. I am then at the mercy of your judgment as to appropriateness and this establishes an expectation of yielding.

The unambigious control serves another purpose -- it actually hypnotizes me further. It makes me "feel" like I'm under and this feeling under occupies my parallel awareness and displace any other internal dialogs. I'm sort of doubly hypnotized with one part of my awareness focused where you direct or following whatever you saying while what would be my detached observer is busy with repeating mantra like thoughts marveling at and reinforcing the feeling of trance. One part is hypnotized and the rest is meditating about being hypnotized. With this double hypnosis there is not much left for any other thoughts and I do let go and relax deeply and profoundly in a way that balances. In contrast, if I'm not feeling hypnotized this part is analyzing how deeply under I might be, what might happen next, etc and that part of me is not letting go.

(Mantra: that I will do willingly and eagerly each and everything you say, that I will be comforted, that each time I obey I go deeper, etc)

0 Comments:

Surprizes in Hypnosis

So do I like to be surprised? Yes. Why? It keeps me from trying to set the agenda. I could easily plan each meeting with specific checklists of things to do, in what order, and how to approach each one. Doing so would be counter productive in many ways.

· It would inhibit the hypnotist from acting in the manner in which she is most effective. She would probably try to honor my request, but what we are doing is not like grocery shopping and she needs the freedom to operate in the ways she comprehends and which resonate with her. If I am expanding her possibilities it may be that her experiences with me have led her to discover new areas that resonate, but she has to be involved if I am to be successfully involved.

· I’m fundamentally here to disengage and let go, relaxing mentally from all the planning, analysis, and responsibilities I normally do. I can’t have a plan and also disengage from the plan.

· Over planning would lead to locking out or ignoring the wisdom X brings. She has a range of experiences different than mine and the less I constrain her (or the more I allow her to surprise me) the more I can gain from these.

· My coming in with an agenda, either written or just set by my expectations, would cause me to keep my observer and planner engaged through the session and this would severely limit my trance experiences. Being human and being that I enjoy the sessions I always arrive with various “what if” scenarios in my mind. If something like those scenarios happens the scenarios set expectations and these keep my observer engaged. If I am surprised so that I don’t think I know where we are heading, I can either become mentally active trying to figure it out, or I can disengage from monitoring or trying to assist in getting there and just surrender to experiencing whatever may happen. If I am otherwise preoccupied with hanging onto her every word I have little capacity or interest in planning and am likely to disengage into hypnotic nirvana.

· No surprises and being in a rut are almost the same thing.

Surprise is the non-checklist. Letting there be surprises is a chance for X to turn off my analytical side for a while and teach me, show me, broaden me by directing me to things I did not select. It is freedom for the hypnotist, new learnings for me, and the wonderful shutting down of my overactive analytical side. Surprises or at least the possibility of surprise along with the trust that they will not be done in a way that is ill-intentioned or harmful keeps me open to simply experiencing whatever may occur.

Some of the surprise and trust theme can be shown by my reaction to the proposal to involve your group. One part of me is disturbed by the possibility and considers the risks, the weakening of privacy, and the worries that “am I really going to let strange people get into my mind and actions and deeply influence what I do, feel, and think?” The other part says “Yes, go for it, it will be new and different and will broaden you. The hypnotist will be there and will ensure that what happens respects your needs and boundaries.” If there were distrust then there would be planning and coordination to avoid surprises as I would not trust what might happen if I were taken into new areas. Trust, on the other hand, allows and even encourages surprises. I may not know what will happen, and I do not know how I will react, but I trust you to choose appropriately and to monitor my reactions and keep what we are doing safe and helpful to me. I have worries about things like groups and surprises, but my trust in you overcomes these and lets me see them as opportunities.

0 Comments:

Automatic Bird -- Log 4

New format this time. Normal font holds my journal of what happened, colored fonts hold inserted discussions about some aspect. You might want to read just the black text the first time and then go back for the blue as that is how it was written. I’m still writing primarily for myself so the earlier disclosures about incoherency or multiple attempts to capture the same concept still apply.

Journals like this can contain more thoughts and themes than can be discussed in person without consuming more time than there is in the session. I’ll make you a deal. I’ll share the thoughts in the form I journal them and you can use, ignore, or discard as you wish. If there is any of them that I particularly want to discuss I promise to mention them at the start of the session. If there are any that you particularly want to discuss you have a open invitation to discuss them at any time. Otherwise I’ll show up with the understanding that while you may have read the thoughts and might have incorporated insights from them, I’m there for the session and we’ll get started on new experiences.

Meet at door, nobody else was there, walked to room and sat in chair

Discussed group thing. 2 others had replied, one male who wanted to participate.
I extended open offer to have others participate without pre-clearing with me

She commented that I like to be surprised, I affirmed liking at least the possibility of surprise

Discussed domination theme
I do not understand their thread of cruelty.
I can give control only to one that does not want it
Point made that I am still in control
Acknowledge that there are many things I would not do, but by feeling in her control I cease analysis and planning, I just waiting for her to supply me with the next focus or thought

Discussed dog and repeated firm lay down command from the prev session
I was going to do it and hesitated only because I was already laying down
I then figured out that she was referring to laying down in the corner
I then started to move to there. I was not at that time questioning if I should lay down, why she wanted me to lay down, if I preferred the corner over where I was, if the corner had dog hair in it, etc.

At that time such questions would have seemed to be irrelevant.

This raises the question of whether I’ll do anything you say as I was on my way to doing this particular thing. The answer is clearly “no”, I will not do anything you say. We know this both because of our understanding of hypnosis and because I have resisted on at least two occasions, once when I thought you wanted me to tell people I know about you and once when I thought you wanted me to leave behind my learnings about people at a-former-employer. Could you have used all of your hypnotic skills to overcome these objections? I don’t know -- my objections to these are not as deeply fundamental to me as something like not hurting somebody and so my protections are not as fundamental. However, the question of “could you” is not relevant because it is overtaken by the question of “would you”. Do I think you ever would use all of your hypnotic skills to overcome something I am resisting that we have not prediscussed? The answer is clear to me, I do not think you would and I do not worry about that possibility.

So, when I am thinking that I’ll do anything you say I’m really thinking that I’ll do anything you, Sharon specifically, are going to chose to say. I’m thinking that I’ll follow each and every of your words because I’m not concerned that those words are going to be to my detriment. The full story of what I would and would not do is complex, possibly inarticulatable, and probably changing from moment to moment, but the full story is not important because you are not testing my boundaries. Simple expressions like “I will follow your words” or “I will be compelled to do each and everything you say willingly and eagerly” resonate with me at a deep level and let me go to a deep level of surrendering to the experience. The expressions are not fully and literally true but they are true within the confines of my hypnotic experience with you. They are some sort of code to parts of me to let go, cease planning, cease anticipating, cease worrying and just go with the flow. There is a distinction between my doing anything you could say and doing anything you would chose to say, but that distinction is implicit and does not need to be articulated.

From her: Expand her horizons, thanks, new possibilities
Nirvana discussed
Why wanted to be under
I was probably speaking quickly, very mentally engaged in explaining when …

** Triggered **– but not with the correct exact phrase

but while I was considering this (very briefly)

some part of me decided that it was close enough

I slumped but the trigger seems to be losing its effectiveness as the wave of letting go and relaxation is not as strong, immediate, or automatic as it has sometimes been.

Felt myself relaxing and slowly slipping deeper, but I was also analyzing what I was doing, how I was feeling, thinking about what she might do next, what I might do next.

It might be nice to reinforce the trigger, possibly reinforcing it every session.

When you want rapid deepening such as when I haven’t been under for awhile, you could try telling me where you want me to mentally be (e.g. deeply under) and ask me to say out loud things that will put myself there. I’d probably converge on some focus / compliance / acceptance / comfort / relaxation mantra like sequence. My having to think of the deepening suggestions and coordinate myself enough to say them would displace most side thoughts and my saying them would give you insight into where I mentally was and could give you opportunities to reinforce the thoughts you chose.

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Was given key message that it is ok to go under, that it gives pleasure and comfort

I do seem to spend a lot of time trying to figure out why I like the experience and I’m not clear how much of that is for my own understanding and how much is to help others understand. It would be nice to not fret about this and just enjoy the experiences. People routinely do things just because they enjoy them including many destructive things such as drinking, smoking, drugs, gambling, over spending, over eating, excessive partying, unsafe sex, reckless driving, etc. I happen to have a hobby that besides being enjoyable happens to be beneficial both from the relaxation and release and from productive suggestions. With agreement from the hypnotist, I should be able to simply accept it for what it is and immerse myself in the enjoyment, release, and beneficial changes.

When she left room I would transfer to table
She left and I did stand and walk to the table
I pondered briefly if I could or should take off my shoes
Don’t remember if I did or not.

“Try something different”
Sitting up
Cookies
Automatic writing –
Chose veggies

Writing was not fully automatic but was less planned than my normal writing is
Trying to articulate what I was thinking brought in less than automatic awareness
Also, my handwriting is not good and writing has never been natural for me
Reinforce choosing better, but added no packaged goods

Former Company

(Sitting and laying)
Letting go of resentment
…
replacing resentment with sympathy
laying down
suggestion to look at them as when I first knew them and returning to those impressions
I rebelled from this suggestion as I need to retain my leanings of their behaviors
see them fresh

Suggestion that my body was not there.
Felt one with her. Distinction between me and her had disappeared. She and I were both the same and in the room, her voice was choosing what to do

This was an interesting effect, at least while my eyes were closed. If you strive for this effect in the future it might be interesting to change your phrasing once I am there – act like you are my internal thoughts – avoid using “you will” and try “we will” or even “I will”, speaking as though you are me.

Open eyes
I did not focus them. Saw things blurry. Was centered around her hands and paper.
Saw with peripheral vision
Look to body. Saw legs and arms. Not disappeared
Opened eyes at one point and saw her eyes, was told that I hadn’t been told to open my eyes and they shut again.

I don’t think I’ve made much eye contact with you while under. This time, for example, I was seeing your eyes in the same unfocussed way I was seeing your hands, and I was not registering them as anything significant.

Told to go profoundly deeper than before
I did but didn’t. I need to know that it was ok to let go that far.
Verge but then pulled back
I started to go, realized I’d be feeling profoundly obedient and probably rambling about it and feeling that this would seem inappropriate to her
I have to know each time that it is ok to let go
Deeper and in her influence are synonyms
That feeling of compulsion or obedience seems to be a first step. It is intense and then fades but it seems to be a prerequisite to the deeper states

Raise out of body
Not really feeling all that disconnected for long

Bird
Flash of being with bird on branch, very brief but I “was there” for that moment

This is a first for me

Discussed prior disconnect when on table with the each and every word phrase
She placed me there
Each and every work, person, phone, or written comforts me
Each and every word I am compelled to obey

Asked about phone suggestion, not a relaxing thing

Alert and aware, but still under

Breaths

Discussed alert hypnosis. Use it sometime. I am literal

It would be interesting to see if the alert and aware but not awake state is useful. Am I more articulate than when under but less guarded than when awake? Are you still tapping into and affecting me at deeper levels or does the alertness block that?

Make diary and email

0 Comments:

Possible Initial Therapeutic Areas:

Not like cookies so much (a favorite but nutritionally unwise snack of mine)

No resentment toward working again with a former team

Use hours after family is in bed to improve self and/or build my professional practice. I used to do this well but now find myself unmotivated and vegging out.

Use hours after family is in bed to exercise - either walk the dog, do sit-ups, or use the exercise/weight assembly that is gathering dust in the garage.

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Things to do when I'm disconnected

Last week I experienced a period where I was feeling disconnected from my body and floaty. (This occurred after some deepening and some explicit instructions from you that each and every word you say I will do willingly and enthusiastically, that each and every word will comfort me, and … ). When I next experience such a state, I’m probably very receptive and it may be a good time to give therapeutic suggestions, plant and reinforce triggers, or take me on a dream I might experience move vividly. You could even suggest that I sleep, or sleep and forget, to mask those suggestions from my tendency to analyze.

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Hypnosis is Nirvana

I had an insight while reading your discussion with your group. Escaping the inner dialog is one definition of nirvana/bliss. For example, Buddhists have a goal of “reaching a state of absolute selflessness resulting in ultimate bliss called Nirvana”. Hmm. … if you are so zoned out that you do not have an inner dialog, are unconcerned about whether you have an inner dialog, are aware but do not care about what is happening to you, and are responsive to others aren’t you in a state of “absolute selflessness”? Buddhists seek this as an ultimate and lasting reward resulting from many lifetimes of improvements. I’ve found a way to get it for an hour by finding someone I trust, by being willing to temporarily give up much of what makes us be selves (decision making, filtering, planning, etc), and by finding somebody willing to bear this responsibility for me during this time.

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What if I'm unresponsive?

A few times you told me to get less deep in order for you to be able to interact or hear my responses. These were always a surprise to me because to my experiences I thought I was doing what you were telling me or was responding. (I assume that I really wasn’t and the responses were only in my mind or at least they were not making it out clearly.) I have three ideas of alternatives you can try in these circumstances where I’m very deep but you want feedback:

• The first idea is simple. Instead of having me come up a bit, you could try telling me to speak louder or move more obviously. Of course, it may be that I speak louder only in my mind and not in reality.
• Having me hold my breath for a few seconds. I don’t see any risk in short breath holding as I’ve never had any sort of breathing problems and actually have a personal and family trait of large lung capacity and ability to hold my breath for long periods of time. Breathing is a form of observable motion I am doing all the time so changing it may be one of the least depth disturbing observable behaviors.
• Another idea on how to obtain feedback no matter how deep I am would be to pre-plant a suggestion that no matter what I was doing or feeling, that when you ring a bell/clap your hands/or ??? I will, staying just as deep, temporarily open my eyes and talk to you and that the next ring/clap/? will send me right back. I’m not totally sure of the relationship between my moving and being deep as I do seem to be able to do some physically active things while under. At most depths of trance, switching between passive and active behavior can enhance both. If I’m just passively laying there listening, I will after a while get used to it and my mind starts other dialogs. Getting me to sit, talk, walk, interact, or otherwise actively move causes extreme concentration and focus on your directions but cannot be sustained for long before the trance weakens. When a period of active behavior ends and I relax back into passivity, I can rebound deeper than I had been before becoming active. I don’t know, however, it this works from the deepest trances, whether the physically activity would take me away from a depth I cannot return to quickly. My judgment of depth in these circumstances is probably not very accurate and if you try it you will have to decide if such cycling can be used to get you the feedback you seek without destroying the depth of trance.

I would like to experience a hypnotic coma where I am so deep that I seem asleep or unresponsive and where I later remember myself as having been asleep. You can use the time to plant strong suggestions and suggest that to me the experience was one of having been asleep with no memories. I’d be particularly curious about two things. One is how far “out of it” I am – am I just sleeping, or am I still tuned into you and your suggestions? One way of telling would be to plant some observable post-hypnotic behavior such as a new reinduction phrase or some innocent activity. If I have no memory and if I follow the suggestion, then it will be clear that even though I was “out of it” I was actually still totally into you and your suggestions. If so, then we have an extremely powerful vehicle by which your suggestions can truly go in without my conscious awareness. I’d be attracted to using this vehicle for more therapeutic work -- there is some appeal of visiting you, getting so deep that I am totally out of it, and waking up improved.

The second thing I’d be curious about related to a hypnotic coma is the degree to which I can be disconnected from my body. If we started from one of those moments where I felt disconnected from my body, or started from a hypnotic coma, and you were to suggest disconnection, numbness, anesthesia, etc, then would you be able to touch, prick, or move parts of me without disturbing me and without my awareness? What if you woke me up with some part of my body still disconnected? Would it stay that way, would I feel touches to it when awake? If you had suggested that a certain touch be a trigger for something and did that touch on a disconnected/numb part of me, would I notice and be triggered or would the disconnection be such that triggering passes unnoticed?

You can also try using a hypnotic coma to have me experience a dream vividly, to see if I can get more fully involved with one when that deeply under.

0 Comments:

General Session Notes -- Commentary

Notes for this and other sessions:

• You do not have to “do” anything – I de-stress just from being under and we can find something within your style or within some area in which you wish to expand your capabilities.
• I do enjoy the felling of being in your control because that feeling lets me let go of many things. It is a gentle and trusting transfer that does not include the elements that repulse me from what I see of the domination world. It is a question of trust and intent -- I can temporarily give up control only to someone who is taking it only because they see it as doing me good rather than because they see it as doing them good.
• I do like convincers because they help reset my self-perception of being in trance and give me an anchor memory. They, however, are not required and, if used, do not have to be different each time.
• Sometimes I must be unresponsive and you ask me to come up a bit. You could also try just asking me to speak louder, signal by holding my breath, or use the depth I’m in to send me even deeper into Nirvana and/or more open to your suggestions.
• It is unfortunate that the involvement of your group did not pan out. However, you are welcome to involve others if and when you see fit and you do not need to pre-coordinate with me unless you want to.

0 Comments:

BDSM? No thanks

I’ve noticed the similarities to domination, but when I look into the BDSM domination world I am repulsed. There is something going on there that I just do not understand or relate to. I do not seek the anger, infliction of pain, lessening of self-esteem, and humiliation seen in the domination world as typified by whips, chains, and coerced confessions of being a bad boy. If we crossed into those areas I would not return.

I’m very much in control of many things and with control comes the burden of vigilance and responsibility. I get benefit from the release of this burden by letting go of my perception of control. It would be cool if I could do it abstractly or on my own. However, my psyche does not buy into the concept of the control just being suspended, going away, being placed with an inanimate object, or being placed with an imaginary person. I can only give it up under limited conditions in a safe environment and if it is going to someone I perceive of as a real, thinking, and caring person.

If there were truly no control at all by me or anybody else it could be dangerous both to me and to others and I rebel from the possibility of being out of control. I do not, however, rebel from the possibility that it might reside temporarily with another trusted person. If I trust them to be actively and truly making these decisions for a short while then I can let go of my need to be doing if for myself. I extend limited trust all the time such as in interactions with accountants, financial advisors, teachers of my children, or even with a gardener who enters our property while we are away. Even if I am very deep, a well intentioned hypnotist is less risky to me than, for example, the brokerage I use.

This raises the question of intent. What I see in the BDSM world has a fundamental underlying theme that repulses me and makes me unwilling to consider trusting those associated with it. I’ll draw an analogy from the first Harry Potter book and movie (which any parent is probably very familiar with). The last and best protection for the stone was to make it such that it was accessible only to one who did not want to use it. Similarly, the best place for me to transfer control is to someone who is reluctant to take it, someone who is taking it only because they see it as doing me good rather than because they see it as doing them good. This pretty much answers the question of why I chose X.

For more on BDSM, see What I am not and The Dark Side of Dominance, BDSM or other

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Reality .vs. Perception of Control -- Commentary

I had some thoughts regarding the feeling of verses the reality of letting go and being in your control. One way to think of it is to realize that there are really only three possibilities. When under, I may be more under your influence than I realize/feel, I may be aware of exactly to what degree I am under your influence, or I can think/feel I am more under your influence than I really am. Last week I was probably thinking and feeling that I was more under than I probably was. My inherent protections related to moral code were surely still there, but they and anything else were not using my attention. This week I was probably thinking and feeling at the time that I was less under your influence than I probably really was. Even while I’m in the chair absorbing more suggestions than I seem to be able to recall, I have a side dialog going on wondering if I am hypnotized, how deeply, will we be moving to the table, etc. Being glued to the chair and forgetting a number showed me I was responding and unable to resist your suggestions, at least those suggestions, but my self-perception was that I was not all that deeply under even though I probably was.

Both ends have their usages. Having more influence than they realize can allow you to more effectively help cautious clients like the ones that just think of themselves as not having gone under and think that they only relaxed and listened even while they are acting on and incorporating the suggested improvements. For me, thinking and feeling that I’m deeply under is both satisfying and self-fulfilling. If I’m thinking that I’ll do anything you say then I’m not planning anything of my own and my inner dialog is replaced with a feeling of hanging on your every word,. The more I think I am in your control, the less I think, or at least the less I think of anything except being under your influence. The command/feeling of being fully in your control becomes a mantra that displaces all other thoughts except those I‘m receiving from your voice. In the not so logical world of our perceptions, when you hypnotize me into thinking I’m hypnotized you silence all other thoughts and probably also displace many barriers to change or release. Also, after the session the strong memories of feeling let go and in your control serve to relax me more effectively than anything else of which I am aware.

Being zapped at the door was nice. I probably approach each time with feelings of cautiousness and distance but being triggered not only brings back the hypnosis it also brings back the surrendered openness associated with when the trigger was given.

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Ocean Trip -- Log 3

Tranced at door immediately

Led to kitchen to wait for feed dog

Told to deepen and I did, but also was running a dialog analyzing the situation, wondering what would happen next, etc

Sat in chair

Some deepening

Eyes open but relaxed

Discuss note

She is therapeutic, not stage

Phone or sound of her voice calms and relaxes. Suggestion to forget this one.

Her touches on my knee ??? calm me??? ??? relax me???

Trust her

Some comment from me about it I was hypnotized

She replied if I was questioning it

I agreed that I was, but had been and continued to run a internal dialog

About the degree to which I was, what she might be doing, what I might do next

How I might react under “what if” scenarios, when we might move to the table, etc

Awake

Sess 2 girl: thought she was early. Was same girl as sess 1

She would be the moderator of what I was told for group. Maybe some signals

Trust can go slow

Under

Very direct commands

Glue – did seem stuck

Forget 5 – could not count. I knew it was there and vague knew the name, but

could not use it. When I tried the number was marginally there but not useable.

When I tried to access the number I instead repeated various deepening

statements from earlier sessions – e.g. each and every word …

If left alone or encouraged I’d probably have talked myself very deep.

Must share book with friends – I pushed back because this post-session

effect would destroy my privacy – I do not advertise that I go to hypnosis

sessions

(Editing note added in prep for sending this to X:

I have on 2 occasions revealed to coworkers or associates that I was

using and benefiting from hypnosis, but these times were only when

they had shared something with me that made me think they might

benefit from it themselves and they might be open to the idea.

I think at least 1 did go, but I never asked.)

Gave forgiveness promise

Gave let go note

Table

Ocean, float, sun, cold – some drifting

Too deep, come up – I felt I had been responding

Pirate, treasure chest, others danger, hide and follow

Robinson Caruso, 3 years, woman. Run off happy.

What of fish tank? Logistical issues

Discuss kids

Discuss letting go and feeling of letting go

She claims to understand, not that natural for her

Is for me a doorway by which other hypnotic experiences can be rationalized

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As I'm there anyway . . .

I’m now starting to get also attracted to the idea of an environment where I’m so far gone that I can reveal anything, heal anything, or improve anything. I’m naturally private and guarded with emotional thoughts but it may be that if I feel fully under your control, if I’m not worried about the consequences of anything I may reveal, and if I’m not worried about the possibility that you may be offended, then I might break through some of these barriers. I’d normally work to protect myself against feeling open, exposed, or vulnerable, but if I’m far enough gone then maybe I can leave those guards behind.

To be the most mentally open, I'd probably have to be persuaded that I have no decisions to make, that I have to do whatever you say, that you are watching for me and thus I am not responsible for what happens while under, that I will not care or worry about what happens while under, that anything that happens is ok, that I must be completely free, natural, spontaneous, and uninhibited, that I will not be embarrassed or bothered by anything that may happen, that anything that happens is normal and natural to the setting, that it is safe to be natural, safe to reveal, that I will not be judged or evaluated on anything I do or say in response to your commands, that there will be no adverse reactions or undesirable consequences derived from being this fully under and letting go all filters.

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General Guidelines -- Commentary

I am as interested in learning about hypnosis from the subjective side as I am in any other goal. You are invited to take some of the time of each session to pursue your own goals or explorations without my anticipation, preparation, or possibly even without my awareness. You can slip your own explorations and suggestions in unannounced or could even make a declaration to the effect that "this is my time, you are deep and will cooperate without memory in my experimentation". I would not consider such a time as taking anything away from me or not focusing on my needs because whatever I am doing, thinking, or feeling, I am benefiting from spending time deeply under.

I’m not particularly concerned about the preservation of my dignity while under. After all, finding my eyes closing, my head falling, and myself falling irresistibly into your control at the sound of some words is not the most dignified thing to do, but it is very releasing and I’m very glad that you make me do it. Similarly if does not matter if some of the thing you have me do when under your control might not be totally dignified. As long as whatever I am doing is limited to your safe environment it does not matter much what I do and the more the behavior stands our as different from my day to day experiences the more it reminds me that I really was under and the more that rebalances me. If I reflect back on something I did that was funny, different, silly, or “hypnotized”, this makes me think “gee, I did that? I must have been hypnotized” and that renews the feelings of release I get from the session.

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Promise of Forgiveness

I realize and acknowledge that in various statements verbal and written that I’ve giving you carte-blanch so that you may be fully empowered in our sessions. I also acknowledge the possibility that as you use this empowerment that you might wander into something that does not work well or that is uncomfortable. If you explore myself or the use of hypnosis aggressively, mistakes may eventually happen, but fear of making a mistake can be stiffleing. To help you explore without fear, I commit to you that you will be unconditionally forgiven for anything that may happen in a session. I may ask that something not be done in the future but I will not hold you responsible or think less of you for your having tried it.

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Disappearing Lady, Thanks!

Thank you for the session, I’m still glowing and feeling light! I keep thinking about the end when I was leaving. I had expected that if I were hypnotized in front of a stranger that I’d be focused on them. When you triggered me I did not for even a moment contemplate if I was ready to be under or if I wanted to be under in front of her, I just went. When you told me to sit down I was not sure if you were telling me or her, but by the time I sat down I had forgotten all about her. I was amazed when you woke me up and still am that she could so totally disappear from my awareness. This makes me think “gee, I did that? I must have been hypnotized” and that renews the feelings from the session. The session felt good, being hypnotized is good, going under for you felt good, and I’m eager for my next vacation!

I was amazed and very pleased at the level of effect you had on me. I can see that as my responses to you get more automatic they not only give me more and longer lasting release but they establish an environment on which I might actually be able to address other issues or improvements. It would be nice to establish an environment where the yielding of control is automatic and taken for granted and one in which I do not concern myself with whatever actions that may occur or whatever thoughts that might be expressed, one where I’ll eagerly and willingly do whatever you say while being comforted by each word and each command, and where I am unembarrassed to be this deeply surrendered and unembarrassed to want this surrender. With such an environment I would not need to worry about planning and monitoring my actions and could just fade away into bliss.

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Captivatingly Deep -- Questions

When you first triggered me, working the phrase into a conversation, did I hesitate before going under? Was that the first time I had been triggered? What does it look like when I’m triggered?

I hope my going under did not freak your other client. How did she react? What did she say afterwards? Did my being so obviously under your influence help her to get to where she needed to be?

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Captivatingly Deep -- Log 2

Chair
Some talk
Asked how I had responded to phrases, mentioned trigger – I just slumped
On table w/ shoes
Deepening, somewhat forceful
Beach vacation
Mountain house vacation – waiting to be told what to do
Her voice got much softer and deeper with intense confirmation that I will do whatever she is told, that I must go under. Felt wave of release/relaxation and went much deeper.
Just soaked up her words relishing being there.
Was aware of the specifics at that time, but is now all fuzzy
Must stand when triggered – cannot collapse

Stand up, awake, then under. “I am literal”
Sit up and talk to her.
Another stand and fractionalization
Reinduction talk

Went much deeper w/
Must go under, must do each and every word willingly and eagerly, each and every word comforts me, …
That totally captivated me, I lost my body sense, felt floaty, wonderful
Whatever you told me at time I’m probably still doing, but my memories of what you told me are unclear
Feel like I must go under anywhere anytime you trigger
Astral projection
Dog on hand
Back into body

At end of session we talked. She had another client coming in 5 minutes. I mentioned that when I crossed paths with another client last week I wondered if I would go under. She stated that she had not thought of that but might like to try it. Door bell rang. Walking to it we talked of how to pass the time in future sessions. She opened the door, young Indian lady in pink silk wrap was there. We said hi, I stepped back to clear the path, then got triggered. I went under without hesitation, head drooping. Was told to sit on couch – was not sure who at first. I sat and drooped further. Only vague wonder what new lady was thinking. Left arm levitation, the higher the more deeply under I am. Totally forgot about girl. Arm past ½ way, not sure how far up, then dropped. Awakened and girl was gone. I stated in her direction that I hoped she went under as deeply as I had.

(See "Disappering Lady")

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Notes from past hypnotic experiences

I am probably most receptive to direct suggestions. If I’m told that I “may” do something then that implies that I also may not, and that requires me to think and be alert enough to choose. I stay much deeper and more blissful if I am told what I must do. Many are afraid of giving up control, but I do not fear this as long as it is in a safe limited context and seek the relaxation and freedom from responsibilities this gives me.

Switching between passive and active behavior can enhance both. If I’m just passively laying there listening, I will after a while get used to it and my mind starts other dialogs. Getting me to sit, talk, walk, interact, or otherwise actively move causes extreme concentration and focus on your directions but cannot be sustained for more than 10-15 minutes before the trance breaks. When a period of active behavior ends and I relax back into passivity, I generally rebound deeper than I had been before becoming active.

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Permissions and limits -- Commentary

• Each time I approach your workspace I’m giving you license to hypnotize me by any technique
• I’m also giving you permission to experiment and test me while under, to have me do whatever you find interesting or amusing, just so long as I’m deeply under and compliant and its effect is limited to the session. The more you have me do “hypnotized” things the more residual benefit I receive because in moments of stress I can reflect back on the behavior, think “gee, I did that?” or “I must have been under because …”, and have this be an acknowledgement that I had let go. This acknowledgement then helps me reflect that not all times are like whatever is currently stressing me, that I can and had let go, and that I will do so again. This can be the light at the end of the tunnel that helps me through the moment.
• Basically, if you can get me to do or experience something then you have my permission to do it. At worst I might ask that you not do something again, but I’ll not think less of you for having tried it.
• I do ask that unless we discuss it first that you take care to keep the effect of suggestions limited to our sessions except for carry over feelings of having relaxed and let go. I have a lot of stuff going on with complicated logistics and a well intentioned suggestion could have unexpected consequences. There will be times when we can use the power of hypnosis to help me in a broader context, but these will need to be approached cautiously. By trusting that I don’t need to worry about carry over effects I can surrender fully to the deep relaxation and intensely participate in whatever may be happening.

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