As I'm there anyway . . .
1/11/2005
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I’m now starting to get also attracted to the idea of an environment where I’m so far gone that I can reveal anything, heal anything, or improve anything. I’m naturally private and guarded with emotional thoughts but it may be that if I feel fully under your control, if I’m not worried about the consequences of anything I may reveal, and if I’m not worried about the possibility that you may be offended, then I might break through some of these barriers. I’d normally work to protect myself against feeling open, exposed, or vulnerable, but if I’m far enough gone then maybe I can leave those guards behind.
To be the most mentally open, I'd probably have to be persuaded that I have no decisions to make, that I have to do whatever you say, that you are watching for me and thus I am not responsible for what happens while under, that I will not care or worry about what happens while under, that anything that happens is ok, that I must be completely free, natural, spontaneous, and uninhibited, that I will not be embarrassed or bothered by anything that may happen, that anything that happens is normal and natural to the setting, that it is safe to be natural, safe to reveal, that I will not be judged or evaluated on anything I do or say in response to your commands, that there will be no adverse reactions or undesirable consequences derived from being this fully under and letting go all filters.
To be the most mentally open, I'd probably have to be persuaded that I have no decisions to make, that I have to do whatever you say, that you are watching for me and thus I am not responsible for what happens while under, that I will not care or worry about what happens while under, that anything that happens is ok, that I must be completely free, natural, spontaneous, and uninhibited, that I will not be embarrassed or bothered by anything that may happen, that anything that happens is normal and natural to the setting, that it is safe to be natural, safe to reveal, that I will not be judged or evaluated on anything I do or say in response to your commands, that there will be no adverse reactions or undesirable consequences derived from being this fully under and letting go all filters.
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