Feeling the Buzz
1/29/2005
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In a prior log, I commented that but I felt a definitive buzz when talking to X but before she had induced a trance.
This is a very interesting phenomenon that first happened when talking to X on the phone after our second session, one where she got me VERY deep, and repeats itself so various degrees every time we talk and sometimes when I think back upon or write about a session. The buzz feeling is similar to an alcohol induced buzz. The upper part of my head is tingly, feeling like it is vibrating softly but quickly, and I hear a small buzz similar to tinnitus. I suspect that my attention narrows but this is hard to judge because one of the symptoms of a narrowing of attention is not noticing that it is narrowed. The buzzing does distract my attention from anything other than my main thoughts.
Interestingly I don’t feel the buzz when under. Maybe the buzz is a posthypnotic suggestion imposing itself, the mind narrowing in preparation for carrying out a suggestion, the mind realigning itself in preparation to going under, or maybe I am already hypnotized when I’m feeling the buzz.
Whatever it means, the buzz is completely involuntary and this time the buzzing was very strong. This may be because I was in a situation where I’d typically be under (1:1 with her in her studio) and were chatting for a bit. I found the buzz distracting and wanted it to go away but it just got stronger. We were not following a pattern previously used of sitting in the chair, talking, going under, etc and were instead standing and talking. There were awkward moments when I wasn’t sure what to do and the buzz would get very strong and I’d want to follow a previous pattern. It was almost like the buzz was whispering without words “sit in the chair and go under, all the way under, let X into your mind, follow her words …”. I knew that X did not want me in the chair at that particular moment and because of that I did not follow this impulse but the buzz and the impulse where strong.
I’m not always buzzed when talking to X. If I’m involved in describing complex thoughts of providing some background I am not very buzzed. If I’m not busy using my attention for other things the buzz returns.
This is a very interesting phenomenon that first happened when talking to X on the phone after our second session, one where she got me VERY deep, and repeats itself so various degrees every time we talk and sometimes when I think back upon or write about a session. The buzz feeling is similar to an alcohol induced buzz. The upper part of my head is tingly, feeling like it is vibrating softly but quickly, and I hear a small buzz similar to tinnitus. I suspect that my attention narrows but this is hard to judge because one of the symptoms of a narrowing of attention is not noticing that it is narrowed. The buzzing does distract my attention from anything other than my main thoughts.
Interestingly I don’t feel the buzz when under. Maybe the buzz is a posthypnotic suggestion imposing itself, the mind narrowing in preparation for carrying out a suggestion, the mind realigning itself in preparation to going under, or maybe I am already hypnotized when I’m feeling the buzz.
Whatever it means, the buzz is completely involuntary and this time the buzzing was very strong. This may be because I was in a situation where I’d typically be under (1:1 with her in her studio) and were chatting for a bit. I found the buzz distracting and wanted it to go away but it just got stronger. We were not following a pattern previously used of sitting in the chair, talking, going under, etc and were instead standing and talking. There were awkward moments when I wasn’t sure what to do and the buzz would get very strong and I’d want to follow a previous pattern. It was almost like the buzz was whispering without words “sit in the chair and go under, all the way under, let X into your mind, follow her words …”. I knew that X did not want me in the chair at that particular moment and because of that I did not follow this impulse but the buzz and the impulse where strong.
I’m not always buzzed when talking to X. If I’m involved in describing complex thoughts of providing some background I am not very buzzed. If I’m not busy using my attention for other things the buzz returns.
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