Kneeding to Please Her
8/27/2005
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After a missed opportunity and several schedule reaggangements, Goddess N and I finally had another session.
We first had a few administrative things to do where we were helping somebody who was not clued in to our relationship. Once we were alone in her studio we both had a small laugh and a hug from our shared secret. She was looking good and proud of her condition, but she has clearly been extremely busy. She has been recognized for some of her efforts, and while proud of it, it still keeps her busy.
We discussed some of her frustrations from less hypno-ameniable clients, some who what life changes but don't want to do anything for themselves. Submissives can be a joy to deal with as long as they honor the boundaries.
She blew the trigger a bit, not quite getting the correct phrase. She corrected it but we both had a bit of the giggles for a few moments. I still cracked a smile here and there through the deepening, and so did her voice now and then.
The deepening was her usual very calm gentle but definitive descriptions of going deeper, following her voice, allowing it to take me deeper, sometimes focusing on my breathing and submitting more with every exhale, … .
She had me go on a short walk with her in public, possibly past people we would not want to know of my hypnotic state. It was nice walking next to her and I found as I often do when deep that I was very sensitive to any disruption in the floor, any crack, change of angle, change of surface, they all required attention and compensation. She had me look at the cars, the drivers, the wheels of the cars. I did focus whereever she directed all the while enjoying standing close to her. I could have walked the whole session, but she directed me back into her studio.
After some re-deeping on the chair, she had me move from the chair to sit on her table. With my eyes closed I smelled that familiar smell of her special lotion and physically felt a wave pass through me of deeper surrender. She applied it to my left hand directing my focus on it and giving me phrases to submit, that I was in her complete control, that I needed to submit. She elicited my willing and sincere verbal confirmations of some of these as she moved to my other hand.
With my eyes closed she had me do her hands, focusing on her muscles, needing to take her tension away, needing to please her, needing to kneed her, to make her comfortable. This I did to the best of my ability, but I suspect that I may be a klutz when hypnotized, that due to the narrowing of attention I over focus on some things and am oblivious to others. Klutzy or not, it was for me a magic moment of shared bonding in that emotionally open and vulnerable state that comes with submission.
It is odd that truly submitting does make one much more vulnerable to emotional hurts, your shields are down, but having them down is so comfortable that you relish in the ability to let go of what you otherwise spend so much energy maintaining. I am a very guarded person in normal life and never let myself be vulnerable, and that may be a big factor in my submissive streak. From the viewpoint of the hypnotist there probably also is an emotionally free state because you know that whatever you do will be accepted, that you are in control, and that they are happy with that. Time suspends. The irony of submission is that it is freeing to both sides.
She directed me back to the chair and then had me focuss all my attention on her foot and toes. Just as her hands needed the lotion, so did her feet. I needed to please her and asked if I could do her feet. Again with my eyes closed and still in my chair I probed her skin and muscles, and probably did that in the hypno-klutzy manner as well. I went deeper while firmly squeezing her muscles and listening to her instructions, echoing phrases that I WAS in her total control, that I needed to obey, focusing on pleasing her. My awareness of her included her voice and the range from her toe to her lower ankle on one foot and perhaps the occasional fringe of her skirt. The rest of her did not exist at that time in the same manner that the outside world did not exist. Those things probably existed, but just not in my universe.
She gave me a tea bag to go prepare a cup for her. As before, I did not notice if there were other people in the waiting area. Back in the room she had me focus on the tea bag and on trying to determine the best number of times to raise and lower it. I found my self doing this very carefully, letting the bag rotate about 60 degrees each time as it got heavier with water and pulled on the wound string. It turned out that when the bag stopped rotating the tea was done. (I should test this discovery when awake.)
She directed my attention to her toes and to that small bottle of nail nutrient. I found myself kneeling on the floor in front of her trying to carefully apply it to her toes. My attention was not quite as narrow as when I was massaging her foot, so my awareness probably extended as far as the lower part of her calfs.
I think she finds these sessions with me to be escapes for her, times when the pressures of her regular life are suspended, when she does not have to work hard to establish the hypnosis, when she can be treated and not be worried about it, when she can do things that she is otherwise to busy to allow herself to do.
So, I am left with one thought...
Did I please her?
We first had a few administrative things to do where we were helping somebody who was not clued in to our relationship. Once we were alone in her studio we both had a small laugh and a hug from our shared secret. She was looking good and proud of her condition, but she has clearly been extremely busy. She has been recognized for some of her efforts, and while proud of it, it still keeps her busy.
We discussed some of her frustrations from less hypno-ameniable clients, some who what life changes but don't want to do anything for themselves. Submissives can be a joy to deal with as long as they honor the boundaries.
She blew the trigger a bit, not quite getting the correct phrase. She corrected it but we both had a bit of the giggles for a few moments. I still cracked a smile here and there through the deepening, and so did her voice now and then.
The deepening was her usual very calm gentle but definitive descriptions of going deeper, following her voice, allowing it to take me deeper, sometimes focusing on my breathing and submitting more with every exhale, … .
She had me go on a short walk with her in public, possibly past people we would not want to know of my hypnotic state. It was nice walking next to her and I found as I often do when deep that I was very sensitive to any disruption in the floor, any crack, change of angle, change of surface, they all required attention and compensation. She had me look at the cars, the drivers, the wheels of the cars. I did focus whereever she directed all the while enjoying standing close to her. I could have walked the whole session, but she directed me back into her studio.
After some re-deeping on the chair, she had me move from the chair to sit on her table. With my eyes closed I smelled that familiar smell of her special lotion and physically felt a wave pass through me of deeper surrender. She applied it to my left hand directing my focus on it and giving me phrases to submit, that I was in her complete control, that I needed to submit. She elicited my willing and sincere verbal confirmations of some of these as she moved to my other hand.
With my eyes closed she had me do her hands, focusing on her muscles, needing to take her tension away, needing to please her, needing to kneed her, to make her comfortable. This I did to the best of my ability, but I suspect that I may be a klutz when hypnotized, that due to the narrowing of attention I over focus on some things and am oblivious to others. Klutzy or not, it was for me a magic moment of shared bonding in that emotionally open and vulnerable state that comes with submission.
It is odd that truly submitting does make one much more vulnerable to emotional hurts, your shields are down, but having them down is so comfortable that you relish in the ability to let go of what you otherwise spend so much energy maintaining. I am a very guarded person in normal life and never let myself be vulnerable, and that may be a big factor in my submissive streak. From the viewpoint of the hypnotist there probably also is an emotionally free state because you know that whatever you do will be accepted, that you are in control, and that they are happy with that. Time suspends. The irony of submission is that it is freeing to both sides.
She directed me back to the chair and then had me focuss all my attention on her foot and toes. Just as her hands needed the lotion, so did her feet. I needed to please her and asked if I could do her feet. Again with my eyes closed and still in my chair I probed her skin and muscles, and probably did that in the hypno-klutzy manner as well. I went deeper while firmly squeezing her muscles and listening to her instructions, echoing phrases that I WAS in her total control, that I needed to obey, focusing on pleasing her. My awareness of her included her voice and the range from her toe to her lower ankle on one foot and perhaps the occasional fringe of her skirt. The rest of her did not exist at that time in the same manner that the outside world did not exist. Those things probably existed, but just not in my universe.
She gave me a tea bag to go prepare a cup for her. As before, I did not notice if there were other people in the waiting area. Back in the room she had me focus on the tea bag and on trying to determine the best number of times to raise and lower it. I found my self doing this very carefully, letting the bag rotate about 60 degrees each time as it got heavier with water and pulled on the wound string. It turned out that when the bag stopped rotating the tea was done. (I should test this discovery when awake.)
She directed my attention to her toes and to that small bottle of nail nutrient. I found myself kneeling on the floor in front of her trying to carefully apply it to her toes. My attention was not quite as narrow as when I was massaging her foot, so my awareness probably extended as far as the lower part of her calfs.
I think she finds these sessions with me to be escapes for her, times when the pressures of her regular life are suspended, when she does not have to work hard to establish the hypnosis, when she can be treated and not be worried about it, when she can do things that she is otherwise to busy to allow herself to do.
So, I am left with one thought...
Did I please her?
1 Comments:
Dear Submissive One,
You did an excellent job of massaging my feet. Soon I will have to show you how to do a perfect pedicure :>)
Next time you will massage even deeper as you yourself will go deeper still. Wondering....am I pleasing her...as you wonder...go deeper still and focus on the feeling.
Mistress N