Zombification -- Log
3/15/2005
| [+/-] show/hide this post
(Had a session yesterday with X. This blog entry is being made at this time in response to an emailed command from X.)
I have not yet thought much about yesterday's session. This by itself is a bit odd as I often spend a lot of time thinking about them.
I know that the induction was swift with not that much deepening. I know that I was active around the house and in the gardens but the details do not seem to be interesting.
B came in at some point and remained until the end of the session, I took this naturally.
The session has established that I can and will follow directions for long times (~1 hour) without questioning and without waking up. I really am putting aside any agenda I may have had and am simply following along whatever X places in my head.
Some Yahoo group discussed the term zombification. They used it as in being so deep that they had no idea what had happening to them. For that sort of zombification and more complete amnesia I'd probably need to be more passive or need a longer deepening or intensification and more ongoing reinforcements throughout the active period, but "zombified" probably well describes some parts because I was following along but with the situational awareness of a zombie and with about the same amount of willpower (as in interest in selecting my own activities).
I don't have nearly as much feelings of release from the session as I normally do. This may be due to the lack of intensity. I'm conditioned well enough, it seems, to need very little deepening before responding to X and to be obediant for an hour doing things unlikely to have been choosen by me. The lack of deepening and periodic reminders, however, probably translated to less bliss.
Based on some emails, I was partially thinking that X might build on the feelings of surrendering and having some ongoing control of me by X. I don't think that happened explicitly but it may have happened by the demonstration that I will be so unquestioningly obedient for so long.
Note to casual readers: There was no expectation from me that X might do that surrender building, it was just my speculation. I'm pretty sure she would comply with any reasonable special requests but I have not made any lately and am letting the flow of things go where it may. Surprise is cool and informative.
I have not yet thought much about yesterday's session. This by itself is a bit odd as I often spend a lot of time thinking about them.
I know that the induction was swift with not that much deepening. I know that I was active around the house and in the gardens but the details do not seem to be interesting.
B came in at some point and remained until the end of the session, I took this naturally.
The session has established that I can and will follow directions for long times (~1 hour) without questioning and without waking up. I really am putting aside any agenda I may have had and am simply following along whatever X places in my head.
Some Yahoo group discussed the term zombification. They used it as in being so deep that they had no idea what had happening to them. For that sort of zombification and more complete amnesia I'd probably need to be more passive or need a longer deepening or intensification and more ongoing reinforcements throughout the active period, but "zombified" probably well describes some parts because I was following along but with the situational awareness of a zombie and with about the same amount of willpower (as in interest in selecting my own activities).
I don't have nearly as much feelings of release from the session as I normally do. This may be due to the lack of intensity. I'm conditioned well enough, it seems, to need very little deepening before responding to X and to be obediant for an hour doing things unlikely to have been choosen by me. The lack of deepening and periodic reminders, however, probably translated to less bliss.
Based on some emails, I was partially thinking that X might build on the feelings of surrendering and having some ongoing control of me by X. I don't think that happened explicitly but it may have happened by the demonstration that I will be so unquestioningly obedient for so long.
Note to casual readers: There was no expectation from me that X might do that surrender building, it was just my speculation. I'm pretty sure she would comply with any reasonable special requests but I have not made any lately and am letting the flow of things go where it may. Surprise is cool and informative.
0 Comments: