Relaxed .vs. Surrendered Commentary

Regarding my being more chatty and interactive, if is probably the distinction between being relaxed (e.g. passive) and surrendering my decision making, planning, and self-monitoring. I’ve commented before that “relaxed” is for me not a synonym for “hypnotized” and X can probably confirm that relaxation is not a prerequisite for hypnosis, that people can be hypnotized with their eyes open or even while on exercise bikes.

Most of my sessions have had a strong “relax” theme, with becoming more and more deeply relaxed being the strongest induction theme. It seems reasonable that if I am so relaxed that I’d be passive and would find it hard to speak or participate in any physical way. Along with this seems to come a frequent fear in the hypnotist that any but the most trivial physical action will break the relaxed state and in so doing also break the trance.

The surrendering is different, it is using the narrowing and focusing of attention to take away my inclination or ability to form independent plans, to question what is happening or what will be happening, to even consider whether I want to do something, or, at its best, to do anything except to deeply want to do whatever my compelling hypnotist just commanded. It also takes away from me responsibilities related to planning and judgment and forces me to simply and intensely experience.

The two themes of relaxation and surrendered compliance are related in trance and feed on each other but neither one has to be there. X probably routinely has people relaxed and not surrendered and could probably if she so wanted have people hypnotized and suggestible without being either relaxed or surrendered and possibly not even aware that anything is happening.

This session there was more of a surrender theme than a relaxed theme and, probably when the relaxation waned for some reason, I became interactively chatty. Not being passive and maybe some lingering effect from a command to tell you how I was feeling caused a pretty spontaneous flow of thoughts from head to mouth. Also, being “relaxed” probably slows down the thought processes more than being simple surrendered, so there were more thoughts to flow.

It is an odd feeling. I know that I chatted, I remember the feeling of a faster flowing conversation and that it seemed to be more of a conversation, I think many of my comments were about how I was feeling or what effect the hypnosis was having on me, but I remember just a phrase or two of what was said. In contrast, I can remember in detail pre and post session discussions. I do remember observing/catching myself in some clearly hypnotic behavior or thought, knowing that it was a hypnotized thing, laughing at myself for doing of feeling it, sharing this observation, but still being totally compelled/willing/eager to continue the behavior. (However, I no longer remember what was the thing or behavior.) That I had enough alertness to notice had no bearing on my compliance – it probably is a trance logic thing where I can accept multiple conflicting realities, one where I’m observing and entertained by that deeply hypnotized guy and his funny out-of-his-control behaviors while concurrently being that deeply hypnotized guy. That I knew of the behavior did not mean that I had the capability or even the desire to stop myself. If this were a stage show, I am both the volunteer and the audience. (Hmm, according to the “all hypnosis is self hypnosis” community I’m also the hypnotist.)

I do have the impression that whenever X started stating a firm suggestion/command that I basically froze and listened intently to whatever she was saying. I can also state that I probably did this several times, I cannot remember the specifics of any of what she said – not the exact words or even the intent of the suggestion/command. All I remember is the feeling of listening and the tone of her voice. (You’ll have to tell me if I followed the suggestions, because I have no idea what they were or if I did them.)

I do remember some conversation near the end regarding a wish to package what I was experiencing in a bottle. I guess we can now all see that this effect is therapeutic all by itself and that there does not need to be some other more conventional hypnosis goal thrown in order for the session to have value. Even if a session were pure “stage show” it does not matter to me as long as it allows me to drink from that bottle.

So I recommend that you two take advantage of this state knowing that just your putting me there is very beneficial to me and giving me what I seem to somehow need. You are free to have fun with me, to explore hypnotic effects, to improve your skills, or even to express the controlling aspects of your personalities knowing that as long as you keep me “there” that I’m benefiting. Just take care to discuss with me before hand any suggestions that would cause behavioral changes outside of the session because our lives follow different tracks and in the complexity of what I deal with the suggestion could have ramifications you never intended.

B: Regarding your concern over disrupting my state of mind – my hypnotized state of mind is probably more resilient than you think, but if not, so what -- go ahead and disrupt it. You can think of it like the turn over in a massage. Sometimes you must think that the client looks so relaxed that you are reluctant to bother them by asking them to turn over, but you find that while this is momentarily disruptive after a few minutes you’ve put the client right back where they were. You might disrupt, but you can also restore. Also, changes are themselves good and hypnosis enhancing – some sort of mental immune reaction kicks in when any one state has been experienced for too long. It may be as simple as the mind at first is busy adjusting to that state but after awhile the adjustments are over and the mind goes looking for something else to keep itself occupied. For the deepest hypnosis, you have to direct what occupies my mind rather than letting it go back to its everyday pattern of thoughts. By changing activities or changing between passive and active you recapture my complete focus. If I’m thinking some equivalent of “what the ??? is going on here” I’m probably totally focused on you and what is going on and this total focus and your direction of it is the core of hypnosis. Net: Changes are good and changes deepen hypnosis.

Practical suggestion re Relaxed .vs. surrendered

I have (at least) two current triggers. We should probably keep (and reinforce) both.

• "R" one – to make me relaxed, passive, sleepy, open to suggestion. Of course, this should be given and reinforced when I’m most feeling that way
• "N" one – to put me in a state of complete surrender, where I’ll willingly and eagerly do whatever you say, where I want to comply, where I’m open and vulnerable, where I want to be surrendered

Taking the bottle humor one step further into the more classical therapeutic world. X (or B): what if somebody did sell (legally) a bottle that if they took a sip the client would become entirely blissful while being open, vulnerable, chatty, unfiltered, granting access to the inner thought stream or even to unconscious thoughts, who wants to participate, who wants to answer, who is not only open to your directions but actively wants to follow them and whose mind is in such a state that you can cause significant changes in behavior, belief patterns, or attitudes? Would you buy the bottle? Would you offer your clients a sip? (Would you take a sip yourself, and with whom?)

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