Going for a Dip
7/09/2005
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I had my first session in three weeks with Goddess B.
We chatted a bit about my vacation and then she hit me with a trigger. With no deepening whatsoever she directed me outside to sweep. This really was not effective as even in the best of times I am not deep enough right after a trigger to be blissful about these things, and the triggers had partially worn off.
I know that there are submissives out there who would take joy in serving their Mistress at any time in any task, ones who would just like to be able to serve. That is not me. I can surrender fully during hypnosis into a nirvanic bliss where I do not mind and even desire to serve, but it is an intense and short duration thing. Jumping in with no deepening after a long break did not work well for me.
Maybe she picked up on my reaction, or maybe she was just testing me, but either way the duration of the activity was short and she directed me into the session room with the usual directions to undress, get under the sheet, and call her when ready.
She started her hypnomassage routine but her usual enchanting murmurs were a bit different this time, with much more emphasis on surrendering, being in her complete control, and sleeping without imagery. Normally I'd eat this stuff up, but I reacted slower than usual because of the need for time for the reactions from the first task to die down. Eventually I started enjoying the blissful surrender to her voice and touches.
It was interesting that I had some reaction every time she told me to sleep, some noticeable shift in feeling, a noticeable deepening. It was not that I was losing awareness, but I was losing judgment. With each "sleep" I became more open to her influence, more a distant dreamy observer than a mentally active participant.
The first interlude came when with a "FunTime" trigger she had me get up, cover myself with that towel, and move a flower arrangement from one dresser to another. She had me look at it (my eyes were unfocussed) and asked me if it or the colors reminded me of anything. Nothing came to mind. She asked about my garden at home but while we have many flowers, none if it seemed to resemble what I was seeing.
Getting back on the table there was more of her hypno massage enchantment before she had me raise my head to look at a pendulum she was swinging rapidly close to my eyes. It was hard to follow due to being so close and swinging over such a long arc but I mostly managed. She gave me short instructions to go deeper, to surrender more fully, but did not have me repeat any of them as reinforcement.
After more massage she issued a "Sleepwalk" trigger and directed me to cover myself with that towel and to go to a dresser where there was a candle statue of Mickey and Minnie Mouse in a surf scene. She then told me that it was time to go surfing. I'm normally not good at hypnotic dreams, but I think I may be getting better. There is a dual awareness, where part of me is in the suggested scenario, and part of me is in reality. She had me ride one wave in to the beach and then pick up the board to swim back out. I almost started to try to jump on as I would in a water environment but the part of me rooted in reality told me that this was non-sensible and perhaps hurtful to me and to the wall I would have jumped into. Even then I almost got prone to "paddle" the board back. For me this sort of intrusion of dream sequences into reality is uncommon.
Again back on the table for more hypnomassage. She gave a "Sleepwalk" trigger and I got up and wrapped as directed. She directed me to follow her down her hall and I did this with as little disruption from my sleepy state as possible. My eyes barely opened enough for me to see a short distance in front of my feet as I followed her (she later commented that my eyes seemed closed and she was worried). She directed me to hold my arms in front of me and I went deeper as I did so (I seem to associate this pose with my first images of hypnosis.) It definitely was a sleep-walk in that I had the mental activity and alertness of somebody asleep, just barely able to stay upright and avoid most obstacles. She lead me to the kitchen and brought me up into the more alert "FunTime" state where she had me mix a dip from spices, sour cream, and mayonnaise. I did this with low efficiency with tasks such as scraping the residuals from measuring cup being about all I could muster.
From here it was back to the massage table for more massage before the hour was up and she awakened me.
It is notable that I did not get at all chatty during this session -- at no point did I have the urge to speak. It may be that this was from the emphasis on "sleep".
We chatted a bit about my vacation and then she hit me with a trigger. With no deepening whatsoever she directed me outside to sweep. This really was not effective as even in the best of times I am not deep enough right after a trigger to be blissful about these things, and the triggers had partially worn off.
I know that there are submissives out there who would take joy in serving their Mistress at any time in any task, ones who would just like to be able to serve. That is not me. I can surrender fully during hypnosis into a nirvanic bliss where I do not mind and even desire to serve, but it is an intense and short duration thing. Jumping in with no deepening after a long break did not work well for me.
Maybe she picked up on my reaction, or maybe she was just testing me, but either way the duration of the activity was short and she directed me into the session room with the usual directions to undress, get under the sheet, and call her when ready.
She started her hypnomassage routine but her usual enchanting murmurs were a bit different this time, with much more emphasis on surrendering, being in her complete control, and sleeping without imagery. Normally I'd eat this stuff up, but I reacted slower than usual because of the need for time for the reactions from the first task to die down. Eventually I started enjoying the blissful surrender to her voice and touches.
It was interesting that I had some reaction every time she told me to sleep, some noticeable shift in feeling, a noticeable deepening. It was not that I was losing awareness, but I was losing judgment. With each "sleep" I became more open to her influence, more a distant dreamy observer than a mentally active participant.
The first interlude came when with a "FunTime" trigger she had me get up, cover myself with that towel, and move a flower arrangement from one dresser to another. She had me look at it (my eyes were unfocussed) and asked me if it or the colors reminded me of anything. Nothing came to mind. She asked about my garden at home but while we have many flowers, none if it seemed to resemble what I was seeing.
Getting back on the table there was more of her hypno massage enchantment before she had me raise my head to look at a pendulum she was swinging rapidly close to my eyes. It was hard to follow due to being so close and swinging over such a long arc but I mostly managed. She gave me short instructions to go deeper, to surrender more fully, but did not have me repeat any of them as reinforcement.
After more massage she issued a "Sleepwalk" trigger and directed me to cover myself with that towel and to go to a dresser where there was a candle statue of Mickey and Minnie Mouse in a surf scene. She then told me that it was time to go surfing. I'm normally not good at hypnotic dreams, but I think I may be getting better. There is a dual awareness, where part of me is in the suggested scenario, and part of me is in reality. She had me ride one wave in to the beach and then pick up the board to swim back out. I almost started to try to jump on as I would in a water environment but the part of me rooted in reality told me that this was non-sensible and perhaps hurtful to me and to the wall I would have jumped into. Even then I almost got prone to "paddle" the board back. For me this sort of intrusion of dream sequences into reality is uncommon.
Again back on the table for more hypnomassage. She gave a "Sleepwalk" trigger and I got up and wrapped as directed. She directed me to follow her down her hall and I did this with as little disruption from my sleepy state as possible. My eyes barely opened enough for me to see a short distance in front of my feet as I followed her (she later commented that my eyes seemed closed and she was worried). She directed me to hold my arms in front of me and I went deeper as I did so (I seem to associate this pose with my first images of hypnosis.) It definitely was a sleep-walk in that I had the mental activity and alertness of somebody asleep, just barely able to stay upright and avoid most obstacles. She lead me to the kitchen and brought me up into the more alert "FunTime" state where she had me mix a dip from spices, sour cream, and mayonnaise. I did this with low efficiency with tasks such as scraping the residuals from measuring cup being about all I could muster.
From here it was back to the massage table for more massage before the hour was up and she awakened me.
It is notable that I did not get at all chatty during this session -- at no point did I have the urge to speak. It may be that this was from the emphasis on "sleep".
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